Starting weight: 264.2
Weight last week: 259.1
Current weight: 258.0
Lost this week: 1.1
Total lost to date: 6.3 pounds
Goal for this week: 2 pounds
Goal Weight: 180
Weight remaining to lose: 78.0
OK, that’s a wee bit better. On the downward trend once more! Tally ho, and all that!
So the missus got a kettlebell and I decided I was going to give it a go this morning and let me tell you, you use muscles you didn’t know you had. I will surely pay for this tomorrow. The Perfect Pushups have been a little easier, I did about 30 today*. It seemed deceptively easy until about 27 or so. At that point an invisible elephant got on my back and the last three or so were brutal.
Oh, the kettlebell came with an instructional dvd (no value declared on the box) in a thin plastic CD case! No paper sleeve for the fine people at Go! Fitness.
Oh, if you don’t know what a kettlebell is, try this:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kettlebell
Also, I have passed 500 page views, about half of which are unique. That’s pretty cool.
*Yes, I’m still doing them the “girly” way. I figure when they seem a bit more effortless I’ll switch to the “big boy” pushups.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Happy National Punctuation Day! Yes, seriously!
Considering the usual ineptitude displayed on the internet regarding grammar and punctuation, I should have taken today off and sat shiva for the English language, but here I am!
http://www.nationalpunctuationday.com/
I am 100% behind this holiday. Here’s why:
so enjoy, and go look up my favorite new punctuation mark, the interrobang!
That's right, it's real!
http://www.nationalpunctuationday.com/
I am 100% behind this holiday. Here’s why:
so enjoy, and go look up my favorite new punctuation mark, the interrobang!
That's right, it's real!
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Week 15: 259.1!
Starting weight: 264.2
Weight last week: 255.0
Current weight: 259.1
Lost this week: 0 (+4.1!!!!!!)
Total lost to date: 5.2 pounds
Goal for this week: I seriously don’t have any idea. Really. Goddammit. Maybe I’ll eat an entire moose or something.*
Goal Weight: 180
Weight remaining to lose: 79.1
I am a surly, surly man today.
What in the hell? I was no angel this week, despite my best intentions (hey whattya know, I’m weak!), but I know I exercised more this week then last when I actually lost some weight, but seriously, up 4.1?!?! I was doing Perfect Pushups, damn it! I took the stairs a plenty! I walked around a lot!
I’d like to say “I’m not mad, I’m disappointed” but I’d be lying. I’m disappointed and pretty fucking pissed off to boot. I must have weighed myself 10 times this AM, then I gave up and ate a banana.
I feel like I’m going to be this fat bastard forever sometimes. I caught a shot of my shadow on the wall the other day as I came out of a backlit room and it looked like the goddamn opening to Alfred Hitchcock Presents!
*I sincerely hope that there’s some kind of dippin’ sauce for said moose. I bet they are dry.
Friday, September 19, 2008
a $9.99 value, yours free!
So the Perfect Pushups came with a poster that isn’t super illustrative, and an instructional DVD. I think I need to watch the DVD to make sure I’m doing everything correctly. I think I am, however I don’t think I have successfully completed any pushups since, oh, college or so, so maybe I am wrong.
I do think it’s funny that they tell you the enclosed free DVD is valued at $9.99. That seems to be a ridiculously arbitrary number. I mean, it’s an instructional DVD in a cardboard sleeve! You wouldn’t buy it without the handles, and I own a lot of DVDs that came in cases that cost a lot less than $9.99. Also, you kind of expect an instructional video these days.
That’s pretty much it for today. I had an awesome banana before. It must have been at the peak of ripeness or something because it was delish!
I do think it’s funny that they tell you the enclosed free DVD is valued at $9.99. That seems to be a ridiculously arbitrary number. I mean, it’s an instructional DVD in a cardboard sleeve! You wouldn’t buy it without the handles, and I own a lot of DVDs that came in cases that cost a lot less than $9.99. Also, you kind of expect an instructional video these days.
That’s pretty much it for today. I had an awesome banana before. It must have been at the peak of ripeness or something because it was delish!
Thursday, September 18, 2008
An inspirational post, OR, In order to combat my craving for White Castle that I have been having lately...
We watched Harold and Kumar go to White Castle last night. Man, that is a ridiculously funny movie. Neil Patrick Harris is ridiculous. I need to see the sequel even though most people said it’s not nearly as good.
So I gave the Perfect Pushup thingamadoodles (that’s a technical term) a go today and I like them. I am still a sissy-pantsed weakling and have to do the easy or “starter” position. You know, kneeling, previously known in school as “girl push-ups.” Well, if that’s all I can do, that’s all I can do. I realized somewhat late in life that (and brace yourself for this little pearl of wisdom kids, because it’s going to come as a shock to many of you), quite simply, you have to start somewhere! If that means at the bottom, then so be it. I’m not going to sweat it. At least it’s something.
That’s my little piece of advice for today, start something. Start it from the bottom and who gives a baboon’s bum if you suck at it! Go ahead, suck at it. To paraphrase a great American* be “the suckiest suck who ever sucked!” Who cares, you’ll more than likely get better. If you don’t, and you discover that, even with practice this activity is just not for you, try something else.
I see people give stuff up after trying it a couple times because it’s “too hard.” Maybe it’s supposed to be.
When I finally reach my goal and I can get a new suit and look at myself in the mirror and not think “DUDE!?!?! What in the hell happened?” It will have been worth it.
I will also be approximately 797% sexier. You can’t argue with statistics!**
*Homer J. Simpson
** 86% of which are usually lies.
So I gave the Perfect Pushup thingamadoodles (that’s a technical term) a go today and I like them. I am still a sissy-pantsed weakling and have to do the easy or “starter” position. You know, kneeling, previously known in school as “girl push-ups.” Well, if that’s all I can do, that’s all I can do. I realized somewhat late in life that (and brace yourself for this little pearl of wisdom kids, because it’s going to come as a shock to many of you), quite simply, you have to start somewhere! If that means at the bottom, then so be it. I’m not going to sweat it. At least it’s something.
That’s my little piece of advice for today, start something. Start it from the bottom and who gives a baboon’s bum if you suck at it! Go ahead, suck at it. To paraphrase a great American* be “the suckiest suck who ever sucked!” Who cares, you’ll more than likely get better. If you don’t, and you discover that, even with practice this activity is just not for you, try something else.
I see people give stuff up after trying it a couple times because it’s “too hard.” Maybe it’s supposed to be.
When I finally reach my goal and I can get a new suit and look at myself in the mirror and not think “DUDE!?!?! What in the hell happened?” It will have been worth it.
I will also be approximately 797% sexier. You can’t argue with statistics!**
*Homer J. Simpson
** 86% of which are usually lies.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Hey, check out what my Lovely Assistant(tm) got for me.
Perfect PushUp!
My wife is super awesome. She got me a "your wife doesn't have cancer" present!
Yeah, that was the heavy stuff I was dealing with (well we were dealing with...) and I'm really psyched and relieved that she's OK.
I will be busting these out tomorrow morning and I'll let you know how it goes.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Week 14: 255.0
Starting weight: 264.2
Weight last week: 257.1
Current weight: 255.0
Lost this week: 2.1
Total lost: 9.2 pounds
Goal for this week: Oh, I'm feeling saucy. I'm gonna go ahead and say three pounds!
Goal Weight: 180
Weight remaining to lose: 75.0
Not bad. Didn't hit it as hard as I wanted to but some heavy things were still on the boilerplate. I should be able to elucidate further soon.
I want to buy a set of those "perfect push up" handle doo dads. I think it'll be easier for me to do push ups with them because the arthritis in my right hand has been absolutely killing me lately. It hasn't been too bad for the past two days but it was awful over the weekend.
Weight last week: 257.1
Current weight: 255.0
Lost this week: 2.1
Total lost: 9.2 pounds
Goal for this week: Oh, I'm feeling saucy. I'm gonna go ahead and say three pounds!
Goal Weight: 180
Weight remaining to lose: 75.0
Not bad. Didn't hit it as hard as I wanted to but some heavy things were still on the boilerplate. I should be able to elucidate further soon.
I want to buy a set of those "perfect push up" handle doo dads. I think it'll be easier for me to do push ups with them because the arthritis in my right hand has been absolutely killing me lately. It hasn't been too bad for the past two days but it was awful over the weekend.
Monday, September 15, 2008
One more reason to lose weight, or, Just when i thought I got out...The pull me back in!!!
October, 30 2008 at Mischief Night Massacre! w/ Calamity Menagerie & Friends!
3276 Washington Road, Parlin, New Jersey 08859
Halloween Madness! Calamity Menagerie with: The O>matics,
The Break Evens
The Professor
What’s The Scoop?!
plus the reunions of:
Grover Kent and Jerk Chicken!
Yep. You read that correctly. We’re doing a mini “Reunion-ette” at this show. Basically it’ll be me and the Break Evens playing for a little while. It should be fun, as we haven’t played in a year now and I have actively retired from music. I don’t see this as coming out of retirement either, in case you were wondering.
However, I do not wanna look like a giant panting wildebeast up there so the game is afoot!
3276 Washington Road, Parlin, New Jersey 08859
Halloween Madness! Calamity Menagerie with: The O>matics,
The Break Evens
The Professor
What’s The Scoop?!
plus the reunions of:
Grover Kent and Jerk Chicken!
Yep. You read that correctly. We’re doing a mini “Reunion-ette” at this show. Basically it’ll be me and the Break Evens playing for a little while. It should be fun, as we haven’t played in a year now and I have actively retired from music. I don’t see this as coming out of retirement either, in case you were wondering.
However, I do not wanna look like a giant panting wildebeast up there so the game is afoot!
Friday, September 12, 2008
Rain, rain, go away!
Well, it’s raining and people are driving like absolute asshats. The amount of rampant stupidity witnessed in my home state of NJ once the rain starts a-fallin’ in is mind numbing. It’s like these people have never seen rain before.
“Well, honey, it was a nice sunny day, but now those grey, cottony looking things are blocking the sun.”
“Carl, I’m scared!”
“Don’t worry honey, it’ll be…What the devil is this?!?!?! Water?!?!?! Sheila! It’s water! Water is falling from the sky!
“Oh no, Carl! What will we do!?!?!”
“I don’t know! Wait, I have an idea! I’ll try changing lanes at random without using any signals…”
“Is it working?!?! My eyes are closed!”
“No, no, it’s just coming down harder! I don’t understand it! I’ve slowed down to 20 miles an hour and randomly changed lanes. I’ve kept the headlights off! It’s no good! Sheila, I think it what we’ve always feared…the End Times…
“The Rapture! Take us home, Jesus!!!” (cue screeching tires…)
Seriously, it’s like they found a tribe of lost prehistoric desert nomads and just set them on the roads in cars to see what would happen. Meanwhile, I just want to get back to the office without hitting someone.
For crying out loud you chuckle-heads, it’s rain. Out of the huge list of stuff falling out of the sky that would make driving much more difficult*, a little water is waaaaaaay down on the list. I could understand people driving like cracked-out zoo monkeys if it were, say, toads or a rain of Holy, cleansing fire, or something, but this is a pretty regular occurrence here in the Garden State. These are the people who, the minute any sort of Tropical Storm/Hurricane/Blizzard or whatever get predicted, buy up all the milk, bread and eggs in a 6 mile radius from their home. How much French Toast do you need, people?
Anyway, I expect a little downward trend A.K.A. actual weight loss this week because a previously tight shirt is now fitting much more loosely, and that’s pretty exciting.
Have a good weekend and try to get out while you still can. It’s supposed to be super nice, so get out there before it becomes cold, windy and snowy. Then we’ll really see some driving!
*I believe the following things, falling from the sky, would be valid excuses for driving like a jackass:
(Please note: this is not a complete list)
• Toads
• Holy Cleansing Fire
• Blood
• Ketchup
• Hamburgers
• Naked ladies
• Those really big hardcover books that are always on discount at the front of Borders.
• Hardcore Pornography (it’s not so much the magazines and DVDs, but the stream of 14 year old boys darting out into traffic trying to grab them. That would probably apply to the naked ladies too now I get to thinking about it…)
• Your mom
• My mom
• The 1977 Dallas Cowboys
• Actual cowboys
• 112,000 autographed 8x10 glossy photographs of a shirtless Ed Asner.
“Well, honey, it was a nice sunny day, but now those grey, cottony looking things are blocking the sun.”
“Carl, I’m scared!”
“Don’t worry honey, it’ll be…What the devil is this?!?!?! Water?!?!?! Sheila! It’s water! Water is falling from the sky!
“Oh no, Carl! What will we do!?!?!”
“I don’t know! Wait, I have an idea! I’ll try changing lanes at random without using any signals…”
“Is it working?!?! My eyes are closed!”
“No, no, it’s just coming down harder! I don’t understand it! I’ve slowed down to 20 miles an hour and randomly changed lanes. I’ve kept the headlights off! It’s no good! Sheila, I think it what we’ve always feared…the End Times…
“The Rapture! Take us home, Jesus!!!” (cue screeching tires…)
Seriously, it’s like they found a tribe of lost prehistoric desert nomads and just set them on the roads in cars to see what would happen. Meanwhile, I just want to get back to the office without hitting someone.
For crying out loud you chuckle-heads, it’s rain. Out of the huge list of stuff falling out of the sky that would make driving much more difficult*, a little water is waaaaaaay down on the list. I could understand people driving like cracked-out zoo monkeys if it were, say, toads or a rain of Holy, cleansing fire, or something, but this is a pretty regular occurrence here in the Garden State. These are the people who, the minute any sort of Tropical Storm/Hurricane/Blizzard or whatever get predicted, buy up all the milk, bread and eggs in a 6 mile radius from their home. How much French Toast do you need, people?
Anyway, I expect a little downward trend A.K.A. actual weight loss this week because a previously tight shirt is now fitting much more loosely, and that’s pretty exciting.
Have a good weekend and try to get out while you still can. It’s supposed to be super nice, so get out there before it becomes cold, windy and snowy. Then we’ll really see some driving!
*I believe the following things, falling from the sky, would be valid excuses for driving like a jackass:
(Please note: this is not a complete list)
• Toads
• Holy Cleansing Fire
• Blood
• Ketchup
• Hamburgers
• Naked ladies
• Those really big hardcover books that are always on discount at the front of Borders.
• Hardcore Pornography (it’s not so much the magazines and DVDs, but the stream of 14 year old boys darting out into traffic trying to grab them. That would probably apply to the naked ladies too now I get to thinking about it…)
• Your mom
• My mom
• The 1977 Dallas Cowboys
• Actual cowboys
• 112,000 autographed 8x10 glossy photographs of a shirtless Ed Asner.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Week 13: 257.1
Starting weight: 264.2
Weight last week: 251.1
Current weight: 257.1
Lost this week: 0 (up 1)
Total lost: 7.1 pounds
Goal for this week: At this point, any downward trend would be bitchin'
Goal Weight: 180
Weight remaining to lose: 77.1
Sorry for the lack of blog-tivity this week, but it’s been a bitch of a week.
Took a good long look at myself in the mirror this morning and was summarily disgusted. Seriously. I mean, I’ve been under a fair amount of stress as of late and I have just stopped going to the gym. It’s just so damned early and I have been so damned tired. Probably “so damned lazy” as well, truth be told. But I caught sight of that horrendously pale, doughy son of a bitch in the mirror and said, “Man, that’s you!”
What happened, indeed.
When I was a kid I was skinny. There are pictures of me where you can distinctly see ribs. There’s no gut. I was an 8 year old Adonis. Things started getting chubby at around 12. So, obviously, I blame 1982 for the start of my troubles!
I was never a vegetable eater either. I like them raw, but not cooked, even to this day. I mean, I eat them, but I never in the middle of the day think “Man, I could really go for some peas right now!” White Castle, on the other hand…Well, you know what I’m saying.
I am Junk Food’s bitch. This is not a relationship I enjoy, it’s bad for me, and it makes me look and feel like crap. It’s tough to get away from. Sometimes I feel like one of those junkies on Intervention. I was showing some improvement in the gut and face area and it’s gone again.
So, I gotta get up again, and dust myself off, and get back to work.
Weight last week: 251.1
Current weight: 257.1
Lost this week: 0 (up 1)
Total lost: 7.1 pounds
Goal for this week: At this point, any downward trend would be bitchin'
Goal Weight: 180
Weight remaining to lose: 77.1
Sorry for the lack of blog-tivity this week, but it’s been a bitch of a week.
Took a good long look at myself in the mirror this morning and was summarily disgusted. Seriously. I mean, I’ve been under a fair amount of stress as of late and I have just stopped going to the gym. It’s just so damned early and I have been so damned tired. Probably “so damned lazy” as well, truth be told. But I caught sight of that horrendously pale, doughy son of a bitch in the mirror and said, “Man, that’s you!”
What happened, indeed.
When I was a kid I was skinny. There are pictures of me where you can distinctly see ribs. There’s no gut. I was an 8 year old Adonis. Things started getting chubby at around 12. So, obviously, I blame 1982 for the start of my troubles!
I was never a vegetable eater either. I like them raw, but not cooked, even to this day. I mean, I eat them, but I never in the middle of the day think “Man, I could really go for some peas right now!” White Castle, on the other hand…Well, you know what I’m saying.
I am Junk Food’s bitch. This is not a relationship I enjoy, it’s bad for me, and it makes me look and feel like crap. It’s tough to get away from. Sometimes I feel like one of those junkies on Intervention. I was showing some improvement in the gut and face area and it’s gone again.
So, I gotta get up again, and dust myself off, and get back to work.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Week 12: 256.1
Starting weight: 264.2
Weight last week: 254.1
Current weight: 256.1
Lost this week: 0 (up 2)
Total lost: 8.1 pounds
Goal for this week: 2 pounds (for real.)
Goal Weight: 180
Weight remaining to lose: 76.1
Today’s weigh in: Not completely unexpected. Yeah, the last weekend of the summer season, and I attended a cookout yesterday. This should be read as “I ate like I was going to the electric chair.”
Chips, blueberries, more chips, 2 hot dogs, 2 burgers, a pickle, and 2 pieces of M&M Ice cream cake. I mean, come on, Rich. However, I knew what I was getting into, I wasn’t going to try and hold back and just went and enjoyed myself.
This of course means severe punishment this week. And by that I mean “not a lot of sleep and a lot of sweating!” I’m not terribly upset about this really, mainly because I was expecing it to be oh, so much worse. Expect better things next week, when I won’t be attending cookouts and whatnot.
Weight last week: 254.1
Current weight: 256.1
Lost this week: 0 (up 2)
Total lost: 8.1 pounds
Goal for this week: 2 pounds (for real.)
Goal Weight: 180
Weight remaining to lose: 76.1
Today’s weigh in: Not completely unexpected. Yeah, the last weekend of the summer season, and I attended a cookout yesterday. This should be read as “I ate like I was going to the electric chair.”
Chips, blueberries, more chips, 2 hot dogs, 2 burgers, a pickle, and 2 pieces of M&M Ice cream cake. I mean, come on, Rich. However, I knew what I was getting into, I wasn’t going to try and hold back and just went and enjoyed myself.
This of course means severe punishment this week. And by that I mean “not a lot of sleep and a lot of sweating!” I’m not terribly upset about this really, mainly because I was expecing it to be oh, so much worse. Expect better things next week, when I won’t be attending cookouts and whatnot.
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