It's entirely possible...

that the gargantuan bowl of candy on the front desk @ the gym today just may have been a conflict of interests...

Snitches get stitches...

...but I get Thirty-Sixes!*




yes, plus my Godzilla 2000 promotional t-shirt that I haven't worn since about 2000 or thereabouts. I was a 36 waist when I graduated college. I was a 34 going in. Next stop, 34stown.

My chest feels like I got hit with a hammer, but it's starting to become quite tangibly worth it! 300 days to go, and a lot more to lose, but boy howdy, I am loving the results.



*Bitches! I know it's crude, but it's the internet...

Three Hundred Days! Also, ouch.

Three hundred days. Check that out.

I feel confident I can do 47 or so pounds in three hundred days, barring eating, like, a hovercraft or something.

So, I did join RetroFitness and I like it. The stretching room lacks one of those cool stretching structures that WOW had, but I don't need that, I'm just spoiled. Plus it's a good deal cheaper.

I'd love to have a pool though.

I did a lot of machines yesterday, and man alive am I feeling it today. I had my Biggest Loser protein drink after , so I think I'd have felt much worse. I think it's all cardio today!

Biggest loser update: Meh.

Due to circumstances beyond my control, I was unable to see BL on Tuesday, thus making my normal Wednesday post impossible.

So, I'm getting kind of sick of the Biggest Loser this year. It's getting hard to root for some people, like Shay and Daniel. I'm not 100% sure why.

It was a pretty low weight loss week for all concerned, except for Danny who mashed out an impressive 12 pounds after last weeks 15. Daniel is doing something wrong. I'll go so far as to say he doesn't even know what that something is.

Anyhoo, the Black team finally won a challenge, but still managed to lose the weigh in, because in this week's twist is was person to person. So if Shay beat Rudy, her team got a point. if Allen beat whoever the hell was up against Allen, he would get the point for his team. Three points would do it.

And it did, because Black lost, again. Looks like Bob may just have some contenders on his team this year, including my gal Rebecca. She delivered like the UPS man this week and brought her a-game.

I'd like to go through the remaining contestants and let you know my impressions.

Rebecca- she's got a shot. She's cute and spunky and we all know I like cute and spunky.
Allen- He's a nice guy, he's got the ability and drive and he just may have what it takes to do win. and I LOVE his eyebrows!
Abby- despite being sent home, I believe she has won her own personal contest. BL was, for her, a kick in the ass to start her life over from scratch after losing her husband and kids. I don't think I'd be able to do it, that's for sure. She brought Jillian to tears and in that moment I knew she was going to be OK.
Danny- I love the big lug. His enthusiasm is catchy as hell, and you know he weill not put the weight back on, whenever he leaves. He's also the only power player on black this year. he was the only black player to beat their opponent! I also think they are going to foolishly vote him off at some point.
Tracey- Like Abby said, she's crazy, but I have a gruding respect for her. She puts in the work and has never pretended to be in this for anything other than to win. If she does she will get fat again. Just a hunch.
Amanda- Dammit, America's Choice, get cracking. You can do it, everyone else knows you can do it, they took you out first in the challenge, so wake the frick up honey! Your pals Shay and Daniel will vote you off soon enough.
Liz- She's an angry southern Grandma. You have to love her, but for goodness sake, do not cross her. The glee she had when they had to vote a non-Danny home was palpable.
Rudy- man, 101 pounds in 7 weeks. Could he have been happier? I like Rudy a lot and I think he has potential to take it.
Shay- I'm getting tired of her "Blue team has no heart" shchtik. Aside from the Nutbar, they are heart, personified. Black is 1 weigh in from turning on itself like a pack of jackals. Was I touched by her story? Sure I was, but i'm starting to think some of it is an act.
Daniel- I don't know what the hell is going on here, but I no longer think he's what he seems to be. He should have been gone by now, but has allied himself with people other people like.

Maybe Bob has this year's Biggest Loser?

7 more episodes to go kids.

Week 70: 227.0 We'll take that, thanks very much

Starting weight: 264.2
Weight last week: 229.2
Current weight: 227.0
Lost this week: 2.2
Total lost to date: 37.2

Weight remaining to lose: 47 pounds


For some reason, 47 pounds looks daunting to me today!

In the "It's about time, there Lazybones" dept":

Not a lot to say about the Biggest Loser last week either.

Blue Team won the challenge right at the get go (well, Tracy watched while everyone else sweat their collective bollocks off. Allen was a MONSTER as usual!) They had to dig 4 boxes that contained keys out of a six foot deep hole in the beach.

Took ‘em damn near an hour to do it to boot! The prize was tickets to go home. The catch, of course was they were on their own for a week.

Or were they?

Turns out they could send the other team home, which is exactly what they did. So, we didn’t get a lot of “Crazy Eyes drama” this week, but we did get a lot of “Oh my God, did they eat that or didn’t they” editing?

When the Black team came back they knew they had their work cut out for them. After the Blue Team weighed in Black had to lose 45 pounds. When Danny banged out an very impressive fifteen pounds it looked as if they might actually pull it off. Then we got to Daniel.

Daniel, whom I do not believe did anything wrong, went UP a pound. Something is way fishy here.

The long story short was they voted Dina off and I am staring to think both Daniel and Shay are more than playing the game here.

2 things before I go,

1) sorry to Allen for spelling his name wrong in the past. and

2) What's with families of contestants eating like goddamn savages when they all went out to dinner? Shay's husband had two full meals! Holy crap!

Gilbert asked me, "So, when you run in the woods, do you run downhill too?"

What do you think?





Please note the ultra rickety staircase that goes down steeply with no handrails! That bridge goes over wetlands as well. It was a safer journey for Frodo & Co. to get rid of that sodding ring at Mount Doom!

Yeah, we're running uphill only right now, except on certain steps. That and on straights as well.

Week 70: 229.2 sheesh...

Starting weight: 264.2
Weight last week: 230.7
Current weight: 229.2
Lost this week: 1.5
Total lost to date: 35

Weight remaining to lose: 49.2 pounds

Well I made it on Tuesday with nary a minute to spare. I am actually signing up at Retro Fitness tomorrow after the Job Fair in the Brunz.

I am a busy beaver tomorrow!

More soon...

Rain, rain, go away...

I'd like to run outside and play!

I think I may join Retro Fitness today. It's really close, and they're running a "no sign up fee" special right now.

WHEEL! OF! CRAAAAAAZY! A Biggest Loser Update!

So, we open with a Temptation Challenge this week where we have a big ol’ Wheel of Fortune with covered serving dishes on it. Under the covers are either $1,000, a snack worth up to 1000 calories or a Golden Ticket. The ticket allowed you to pick the players that would make up the new blue and black teams AND you could pick the trainers.

So, Danny goes up and gets a big ol 1K calorie slab o’ cake. It looked so amazingly good and I thought, “How many times have I eaten a piece of cake that big, or, for that matter, two hunks of cake that big in one sitting?

The players continued to spin, Daniel got a cupcake, Alan got a teeny little wee one but then Tracy came up. The wind picked up and she spun. Sure enough, Willy Whackjob got the ticket.

So, what did she do?

She joined Bob’s team (who looked like he’d rather eat poop) and took Daniel, Rebecca, Shay, Liz, coach Mo and Alan and left Jillian with the remaining players.

Here’s why this appeared stupid:

• Jillian was waiting to physically beat her to a pulp
• Bob doesn’t care for her in the least
  
• She separated teams causing more animosity amongst her opponents

Here’s where it appeared smart:

• She loaded up her team with heavy hitters and weight losers
  
• She got away from Jillian

Here’s how it played out, in actuality:

1) Blue team won the challenge, getting videos from their families. This was a nice morale builder for them. When Liz asked Danny to watch her video with her I Was touched because they are so close. When it was revealed that it was actually his video I damn near bawled. That was a very nice thing for Liz to do.

2) What seemed like a bad thing of people being separated from their support (teammates or favorite trainers) actually turned out to be pretty advantageous, showing these people that they actually could rely on themselves instead of others. This probably was not something Crazy-Eyes put into consideration.

3) The Blue Team fell below the yellow line and she was on the chopping block

So who went home?

Coach Mo. Yeah, you read that right. Coach Mo! He somehow convinced the team to send him home because he wasn’t going to be able to pull his own weight due to injury. Mind you, he carried the purple team for two friggin' weeks when Tracey wasn’t there, but we seem to have forgotten that.

Now, here are some thoughts I have.

• I think the wheel was rigged. You heard me. I think the producers know Tracey is the loosest of cannons and her getting the Golden Ticket will make for good TV so they rigged it. She sure didn't look as psyched as she should have. That said, she's a couple sammiches short of a proper picnic, so maybe I'm expecting something else...
  
• I wondered last week when Daniel didn’t lose if he had waterloaded. Now, that he lost this week and Shay banged out an very impressive 16 pounds this week, I am left to wonder if they both didn’t do it. I didn’t think Daniel was a player like that, but hey, maybe I’m naïve. Maybe he’s playing with the best of intentions, but still, I wonder.
• Rebecca, Rebecca, Rebecca. Becky. Beckers... It's a known fact that here at the Compound there's a split feeling about you. As the half of the house that likes you, I feel like I should be the one to ask you this: What in the ever lovin' green hell happened to your hair?
• Liz is a class act. So is Rebecca for that matter.
• Dina, for the love of all that is sacred and holy, JUMP!
  

I guess we’ll have to see how this plays out. It will be nothing if not interesting.

In unrelated news I walked/ran about 4 miles at Cheesquake today, and did 6 miles yesterday as a sort of punishment to my body for gaining four pounds.

* Drank a load of water to sabotage the weigh in.

Week 69*: 230.7 Sexy has, apparently, left the building. Toninght, sexy will be played by the Doughy White Guy.

Starting weight: 264.2
Weight last week: 226.8
Current weight: 230.7
Lost this week: UP a big THREE POINT NINE-ER
Total lost to date: 33.5

Weight remaining to lose: 50.7 pounds



Man, it just goes to show you, you can't screw around too much AKA- Big Ed's Ribs are a bitch.

I feel like my 4 mile walk and run on Friday was a big ol' waste of effort. Grrrrrrrrr. Damn you, food! Stop being delicious!

So I went on a SIX MILE walk/run today and I am telling you something right here: I am going to sleep like a baby tonight. Here's how it went:
Bluetrail until you hit the junction, then red/green back to the main hub below the Interpretive Center, then the yellow trail twice.

I took my wife to Cheesquake yesterday for the first time and we did 2.5 miles (Red Trail). It was a lot of fun to take someone with me for a change.

Friday I did 4 miles, mainly by accident and the underestimation of distance.

I am going to stop this here because I am pretty tapped out mentally, and have lots of other stuff to do.

See you tomorrow.

Biggest Loser Week 4: It's a lock!

This week was interesting. There wasn’t as much, well I'm gonna call it "nutbar fallout" from the fantastic group screwing that Crazy-Eyes Tracey dished out at last weeks weigh-in. There was, however, a heck of a curveball thrown at the players as they came back to the house to see all the kitchen cabinets and whatnot chained and padlocked.

Alison informed the unlucky lot that they would be ordering out all week long! Bob and Jillian didn’t take it so hot, and decided to take the group out to dinner and show them how you can go out to eat and still eat well, as opposed to the same old way that led them to be at the Biggest Loser Ranch.

The first Challenge this week was a quiz to pick the healthiest of three chicken dishes, and the winner got healthy groceries for a year. It was between Allen and Abby, Danny and Liz and Daniel and Shay. Danny and Liz got it, and while I like them both, I wanted it for Shay. The woman works three jobs, and as she said this would have meant “1 less job.”

The actual physical challenge was for immunity and was an inclined platform that you had to hang from some handles or you would go a-sliding into the pool. Daniel and Allen were the last two standing, erm, hanging I mean, and it was young Daniel who remained triumphant.

There’s a really good possibility that he could take this, I think.

Danny and Liz and Julio all ended up below the yellow line. I was surprised because Julio is actually visibly thinner in his interviews this week. However one of them had to go home, and it was Julio.

Somehow, Crazy Eyes lost four pounds, despite Doctor H’s warnings that she was not supposed to lose weight. Her partner is, of course, Coach Mo and he is just saddled with her. I feel bad for the guy because he’s busting his ass.

Next week, it goes back to two teams, which I am not terribly thrilled about. It may, however, get coach Mo away from that whack-a-do. I worry about Shay being separated from Daniel though, because he is a great support for her.

I think we're in for an interesting week next episode!

Now for my rant. There’s a Biggest Loser recap I tend to visit so that I can keep track of the players and make sure I didn’t miss anything and there seems to be a real problem amongst the folks there with Jillian. Here’s everyone’s gripes, in a nutshell:

1) She swears too much

2) She’s "mean" and yells at them too much and should be nicer. She demeans and belittles them.

3) She only seems interested in promoting herself and doesn’t really care about the contestants.

Let’s take this one at a time, shall we?

OK, she probably swears a bit too much, I’ll give you that. I think NBC was cutting it out mostly and they left it a lot more in this year, but it has dwindled down since the premiere. I am sick of people being upset that it’s bleeped, however. “I watch this with my kids!” they cry! I’m sure those kids have never heard those words anywhere, either.

Is she mean? No, I don’t think she is. Quite frankly, the only people who say that someone else is “mean” are girls, or women. I mean, come on, as an adult there's no excuse for calling another person "mean." This is true. You’ll never hear a, say, 40 year old man say “I don’t like that Dave in accounting. He’s mean!*” I think boys stop saying this in about fifth grade, unless they are referring to a dog, or, I suppose, if it comes back as slang, i.e. “Those are some mean looking shoes, my man!”

The people on the Biggest Loser do not need anyone to be nicer to them. The people around them were plenty “nice” and made them feel good about themselves and that is why they are 400 pounds. The reason I was crowding three hundred pounds was certainly not because I had an angry woman threatening to ride me like a pony!** My Nurse Practitioner read me the riot act and that helped kick my ass into gear.

So is my NP "mean?" Hell no, I believe she has been instrumental in saving my life.

These people go to the ranch knowing full well Jillian is going to destroy them, and that is what they need. They need to be rebuilt and rewired from the ground up.

The third thing is such straight-up, hardcore, absolute bullshit that I really don’t want to address it. Let me just say if she didn’t care about the contestants why does her team routinely trounce Bob’s? She works them.

You can see she genuinely cares, but her way of showing it is to beat the living hell out of you until you realize you’re worth having the hell beat out of. Am I making sense here?

Also, never once have I heard her berate or belittle the contestants. She may yell at you, OK she will yell at you, but she will always show you what your are capable of and never put you down. Oh, she'll yell at you for not giving your all, but I think we all need a little of that once in a while.

Anyway, it’s late and I’m going to have to post my other, semi-related rant tomorrow because I have to go to sleep.

Did another trail today, by the way. The red one! I also discovered there is a blue trail as well. I want to see where that goes!

* He might say “I hate that douchebag Dave in accounting, He’s a complete asshole!”

** No, not like that, but that bears some merit as well.

Week 69*: 226.8 Bringing Sexy Back (albeit very, very slowly)

Starting weight: 264.2
Weight last week: 229.6
Current weight: 226.8
Lost this week: 2.8
Total lost to date: 37.4

Weight remaining to lose: 46.8 pounds

I swear to you, I'm so goddamn gassy, I feel like if I trip while on my walk I might go down like the Hindenberg.

Despite that, I am also filled with joy! Very close to 225 which is when I said I'd get a new tattoo. Alas, I am not working now, so that's temporarily out of the question**.

I had a great walk today, and then came home and jumped some rope, poorly as usual.

So for breakfast today I had a new (to me) cereal called Ezekiel 4:9. Yes, I'm serious. It's supposed to be pretty good for you and I imagine it is as it tastes like dirt. I mean like I felt like I was eating the actual cereal box.

Now, it's filling as all hell, I'll give you that. I'm not giving up on it yet. I'm gonna try blueberries in it tomorrow.

So, yeah, fine, it's what the Bible said to eat, but let's face it, this is what they had available! I'd like to think if Ezekiel came across like, an IHOP or something he'd have been like "Fellas! You have got to try this. No, seriously, screw the cereal, someone write this down, this is delicious!"

Well, that's that for now! I'll be back tomorrow with a Biggest Loser wrap-up and a rant.



*I'm not going to make the obvious joke here. I want to, but I won't. I will, however, tell you one of my favorite jokes:

A Chinese couple are in bed and the husband turns to his wife and says "I don't know about you, but I'd love a little 'sixty-nine!'"
She turns to him and says "Beef and Broccoli?!?! Now?!?!"

** Unless, of course, I win the Big Game tonight, in which case, inkers away!

The accidental walk...

So, I went for a walk at Cheesquake Park and decided I wanted to do a little more than the yellow 20 minute trail (which I explored previously), but nothing so long as the 90 minute Green trail. So according to this sign:



I wanted the nice 40 minute red trail. THE RED TRAIL. Everyone write that down, this becomes important later in the story. So, off I go into the woods. it's nice, the colors are more muted as it was overcast, and it made the stuff that did stand out pop all the more like this moss-




I saw a lot of cool mushrooms like this one I though might house Smurfs.

like so-




So, I came to a junction, and I could either choose the red or green trail. So, I think "green means 'go' and so off I went. That's right, on the green trail. Can we take another look at the sign please?




Thank you.

Yep, that was the wrong choice.

So the green trail was a lot of up and down including this steep staircase:


which led to this awesome swamp which had this boss walkway:



Along the way there were nice holly trees as well.







And cool fungi.







I wish the tall white one had come out better. It was really neat!

Now, at one point there's a nice walkway built by Boy Scouts. This is cool because otherwise you'd be walking in the mud. You know, sort of like this:



WTF!?!?! How am I supposed to get to the other side? What am I, Super Mario? In retrospect, that may have been a 1UP mushroom at the beginning!

Needless to say I got a little muddy. Then it ends again, a little further on! Jeez!

After about an hour and change I was feeling a tad betrayed



Thinking, "This is the longest 40 minutes of my LIFE!" but it wasn't until I got to the end of the trail that I realized my, mistake.



It was a great walk anyway, despite my mistake. 3.5 miles of reasonably tough terrain in just under 2 hours.

BREAKING NEWS: I am now "Living Large"

That's right kids, seethe in jealousy. Not only is that a Dalek on my shirt, but it's a size large!

that's right, LARGE! I haven't been in a large since college! And I mean early on in college!

Hot damn, I fit in a large, and I am not uncomfortable!

I love it when a plan comes together.

Tune in later today for my story of how I accidentally hiked 3.5 miles through the woods because I got primary colors confused.

Nuttier than Squirrel Poo: Biggest Loser- Week 3

Well, after last week’s fuzzy-wuzzy “no child left behind” episode, the game was once again afoot this week. We opened with the players being asked to make a choice. For a two pound advantage at the weigh in you could give up your trainers for the week. I believe they did that once before as well a few seasons back, but you’d have to figure at this early stage of the game, who would be crazy enough to take it.

Tracey, that’s who.

Yep, fresh out of the hospital and still not allowed to work out at full capacity, Tracey must have been feeling desperate when she decided to take the offer because it affected not only her, but her partner, the friendly Coach Mo, as well. Without even consulting him, of course.

That was mistake number one. If you’re reading this and thinking “well, Rich, that sounds like she made more than one mistake” and you’d be 100% correct about that. She made two more, well actually one big one with two components, but the end result was certainly not the one she was looking for.

Anyway, after Bob and Jillian read her the riot act, and justifiably so (Bob going so far as to say he hated the game players because they always put the weight back on) we got to the business of working out.

We soon discover Abby has a stress fracture on her shin and she can’t do any land exercising, pool only. That’s never a good thing to hear, especially on the BL campus.

Then we get to the temptation. Each contestant was partitioned from the others by curtains, and a teeny 100 calorie cupcake was under the silver tray cover. The challenge was thus: whomever ate the most cupcakes in 10 minutes would have the ability to chose which team member would weigh in for the teams that week. That’s pretty huge. Now, had I been on the show, I would have said “Look, kids, let’s not fall into this trap. Why don’t we try and do this on our own merits and let the cards fall where they may?” and I think it might have worked.

I am not desperate, though. I am not trying to win 100K to help my husband’s business.* I am not Tracy.

Now she was not the only one. Antoine of the red team also had some, eating two of them, but wisely thinking “I might be able to win this for 200 calories.” Unfortunately, he was up against a desperate and increasingly unhinged sounding Tracey.

So, she wins. Jennifer was correct in stating her worry because “She doesn’t know what she’s doing when she’s doing it”

The challenge also gave us Antoine’s partner Sean giving us the best surprise face going, and Danny being yelled at not to eat any cupcakes by Liz, which was a crack up as well. Also, Jennifer screaming “Damn you, sprinkles!” was a nice touch as more tempting cupcakes with M&Ms and cookie bits and, yes sprinkles, were trotted out before the players.

Now, when Bob and Jillian find out what Tracey had done they went a little nuts, Jillian especially actually saying she had to calm down before she throttled Tracey with her bare hands. That would have made for some compelling TV,

Anyway, Daniel from the Orange team and the Amanda and Rebecca from the pink team both went to appeal to Tracey like she was a Mafia Don on this, the day of her daughter’s wedding, to ask for a favor. Daniel asking for her to let him weigh in, and the pink tem for Rebecca to go in place of Amanda. Tracey asked for the Pinkies to keep her here if she fell below the yellow line but they did not acquiesce. That sealed their fates in my optinion.

Now, at the weigh in, more often than not, Tracey’s plan began to crumble as her picks came up and lost respectable numbers. These were more in line, for the most part, with Week 2 numbers, but considering last week’s Bonanza of weight loss, you had to expect it.

Of course she chose Shay and Amanda, proving she’s a snake way too early in the game for her own good. Now, she decided to weigh in for her team and she, of course pulls in a slamming 11 pound loss. However, there was silence. Unreal!

What a dope.

No, seriously. If it were me, I’d have done the smart thing and let each team pick their own person to weigh in. Come on, you would engender yourself to the others, you would show yourself to be a team player, you’d improve your standing with the trainers, you’d protect your partner and you’d never get voted off that week if you happened to fall below the yellow line.

Instead, you have alienated yourself from the rest of the group and tipped your hand. I feel bad for Coach Mo.

So the red and orange team were below the line. The red team sacrificed themselves so Shay could stay. They lost a hell of a lot of weight at home to boot, so they made out OK. I’m glad for that.

Tomorrow I’m going to wax poetic about people’s complaints about the trainers this year.

* My husband does very well for himself, thank you. Wait a minute, what?