..if we drilled a hole into my GI tract and siphoned of the abundant Natural Gas deposits that are currently terrorizing my family.
Seriously, it's terrible. It's the GI Apocalypse! I have cramps, I'm so bloated that I feel like a family of schmoos* have moved into my belly. I'm bloated beyond my capacity for rational thought. This makes me very, very surly.
Then there's there's the smell.
It's like a million landfills burning in my hindquarters and gullet. Heavens above, Gromit! I take this opportunity to publicly apologize to anyone who happened to be downwind of the Superfund site that was my ass for the past 48 hours.
On the plus side, with all the trips to the International Room**, I ought to drop some weigh this week.
*Although, according to the Wiki, the plural is “Schmoon!”. Also, I learned a “nogoodnik” as an evil schmoo! Who knew?
** When you go in you're Russian, then European, and when you come out, you're Finnish!
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