30 DAYS...

Sorry for the lack of updates.  Here’s the news right now:

1)    I got laid off

2)    Sleep apnea is no better

3)    Going for sleep study soon

4)    May have new job in sight or…

5)    I may be going back to school!

I’ll get into those in more detail but I wanted to get something going first.

So yeah, this begins my official Old Man Conroy Quit Eating Like an Asshole Challenge.  So, in case it’s not obvious, my goal is to quit eating like a complete asshole.  It’s tough, I’ve been doing it for so long.  It's comfortable, like sweatpants.

You may ask me, ”Rich, how do I know I’m eating like an asshole?”

To quote my friend Jasmine, “Oh, you know…” and she’s right.  When you go eat something crappy when you have something good at home.  When you eat that FIFTH PLATE at the buffet.  When one or more of those plates consisted of ONLY BACON.

You get the idea.

I have done the above and more.  I could do some serious damage at a buffet.

One of my big problems is I am an emotional eater.  Anything that sets me off sends me down a rabbit-hole of cookies, junk food or grease.  On really awesome days it does ALL THEREE!

Still today I am a bad day away from eating McDonald’s, a tiff with the wife away from eating at White Castle, a sleepless night away from another battle with General Tso’s insidious yet delicious forces!

I’ve almost always had weight troubles.

In grammar school I was always kinda pudgy, but frequently after getting my ass summarily handed to me in my near daily after-school beating from a group of boys in my class (and the next year up to boot!*) I’d go home, plop in front of the TV and eat an entire sleeve of Chips Ahoy! cookies.  I was never very athletic and since gym class meant competing against the same group of altar boy Neanderthals that were ambushing me on a day to day basis I sure didn’t like that much either.

High School wasn’t much better.  I stayed out of physical fights, but a lot of the jocks picked on the nerds and I was, believe it or not, a colossal nerd.  So, I of course rebelled against sports.  Why try to join what the people who hate you are doing?  I mean you don’t like me? We’ll you and your team can all get fucked for all I care.**

Wow, had I known then I was rebelling against health, I might have done it differently.

I remained about 140 pounds throughout college, so I wasn’t so much “fat as I was “doughy**.”  I had 32 inch jeans until I got out in the workforce, where I sat behind a desk.

This is why I weigh, about 260 pounds now.  The only reason I have a 38 inch waist now is I wear them under the big ol’ gut.

So there we go.  Let’s get up and get on it.  Maybe if I can get the eating thing right, I can start sleeping better, and then I can exercise.

I’m getting too old for this shit.

NEXT POST- Living the tired life with Sleep Apnea!

*Ah, Catholic School.  Where my folks paid good money to have me worked over every day like I owed money to the mob!

** Boy, I sure showed them!

*** I know, ladies but please, have some composure.