Week 79- 224.5 All things considered...

Starting weight: 264.2
Weight last week: 224.1
Current weight: 224.5
Lost this week: +.4
Total lost to date: 39.3

Weight remaining to lose: 44.5 pounds

I literally have not been to the gym for three weeks as of today. It sucks, but I am having some difficulty getting out of bed to go early and I am just in no mood to go at night.

I know, I better *get* in the mood, right?

It's like 10 degrees with a wind chill of minus eleven trillion today. Poo.

What's amazing about not eating garbage all the time now...

is that even when I *do* have like, eleventy trillion cookies like I did this holiday, I didn't get sick.

The wife and I took 2 days off our diets, and I ate sandwiches and cookies and dammit all I HAD BACON.

Honest to goodness, from a pig and fried up actual BACON.

Now I'm good, and I don't need any more.

Back on the horse today, and feeling completely OK about my planned two day lapse.

over 4K!

That's a lot of hits! Thanks to everyone who's following along! Hope you're having a bitchin' yuletide season!

Keep your chin up and use a small plate! Celery and other veggies are guilt free snacks for parties, just keep the dips to a sensible level.

Week 78- 224.1 Well we hit the big four oh

Starting weight: 264.2
Weight last week: 226.2
Current weight: 224.1
Lost this week: .8
Total lost to date: 40.1

Weight remaining to lose: 44.1 pounds

pounds, that is!

Sadly, I have bad gas and an upset tummy from Trader Joe's Orange Chicken. Ugh.

Lately it's been a little tough to get to the gym...

Someone send me a bear, quick!

Week 77- 224.9 Tattoo time!

Starting weight: 264.2
Weight last week: 226.2
Current weight: 224.9
Lost this week: 1.3
Total lost to date: 39.3

Weight remaining to lose: 44.9 pounds

I made it a goal that when I hit 225 pounds I'd get a new Tattoo. Well, now I can except I am unemployed and can't afford it right now. I can get one when I can though!

This is pretty exciting because it looks like my 40 pounds by Christmas looks like a reality!

There's these things that showed up all of a sudden on my arms that have never been there before...

And no, I don't mean the footprint :)

Seriously, WTF?

Someone told me it's called "def-uh-ni-shun" or something like that.

Honestly, I'm just as surprised as any of you. Yeah, it's not perfect, and I am having a problem spot in the "bingo wing" area as shown here:




but hell, compared to the Sta-Puft Marshmallow Arms(tm) I had before, this is pretty spectacular!

Husker Du had the right idea...

ugh. Where's the "Do Over" button?

I am stressed out, I have a splitting headache and all I want to do is go eat a Lumberjack Slam. Now, knowing as I do that it's well over 1,200 calories and it's 285% of your fat content for the day compounded with the fact that I am not, in fact, Michael Phelps, means I am sitting here eating granola cereal and having some coffee.

On the plus side, I got a silver quarter in my change last night @ CVS. That's #4 this year so far. I enjoy this, because it's kind of like finding treasure, but on a really tiny scale.

Biggest Loser Finale: Season 8 HOLY CRAP!

Man, if you told me week 1 who the winner was going to be on this season I'd never have believed you. Check out the pictures for the fantastic job everyone did! Let me just tick off the highlights for you:

1) This is the first year that my picks won both the At Home and the Big Prize! Hooray for me!

2) Please break out the Barney Stinson Hot/Crazy Scale for Tracey! Sweet Guinea Pig From Winnipeg, what a difference! She's probably still waaaaay over the Mendoza Diagonal, but what can you do? (It seems the video of this particular bit was taken down from the official blog*, but here it is for your enjoyment, from another source (see what I do for you people?)-



3) Daniel looks great, and finally healthy. He's gonna need to be to keep up with...

4) Rebecca! Yep, our at home 100K winner and completely ridiculously hot transformation. Rumor has it they are going to be shacking up, erm, I mean moving in together.

5) Biggest suprise of the At-Homies? JULIO! Look at this guy! Dead Father? Not bloody likely, Jillian. I was less than convinced of his dedication, then he turns up looking like...well, one healthy son of a gun.

6) Antoine proposing! Also, Antoine looking like an Action Hero!

Everyone did a hell of a job. There were some "no suprise there" moments, like when Allen came out and looked like an action figure, or the standing ovation Shay got.

Oh, and speaking of Shay, "Our Friends at Subway" want to help her on her journey and invited her back to the Season 9 Finale. For every pound more she loses, she'll get one thousand dollars!

HOLY CRAP ON A HOTPLATE!

She's got like well over 100 pounds to go, and Subway is also giving her free food. I just wished Jared had come out with the blank check. Just because.

And now to our winner. I'd have taken any of the three, but let's face it Amanda was there as an "also ran" and that's OK, because she ran with the winners. She also looked great.

Rudy came out looking like a basketball player or something. Holy Smokes, what a difference. He managed some insanely impressive numbers, but Danny managed to lose ove 52% of his body weight, and took home the prize.

Danny was humble, and now he looks like a movie star. If he wanted a future in entertainment, I bet he could do it easily. He looks a little like a young Mel Gibson now.

Joy Behar asked him what he was gonna do withthe money and he said "Well, first I need new clothes!" That is the one hazard of losing a lot of weight, you need all new clothes.

I'll take it though.

I could probably get an entire new wardrobe for about $1,000, shoes and all. Ok, maybe not shoes too...they get expensive.

Anyway I can't wait until next season, starting in, believe it or not, JANUARY!

*Yeah, the official blog, and the video was removed for copywrite violations. Go figure.

Week 76- 226.2 a somewhat weak week

Starting weight: 264.2
Weight last week: 226.4
Current weight: 226.2
Lost this week: .2
Total lost to date: 38

Weight remaining to lose: 46.2 pounds

Point two?!?!?!?!! Sheesh.

Feeling Tso-Tso or Exactly how am I still walking around?

I was discussing food I miss and still crave to this day with Gilbert the other day. Most fast food, not so much.

French Fries-

I eat French Fries every once in a while these days and I really don't crave them. In fact, most of the time I don't enjoy them anymore.
FAT FACT: I have eaten a lot of fries in my day. Like, for me, the movie title "My Own Private Idaho" refers to how many taters had to die to be sent down my gaping maw. There were many a day from college and beyond where I'd have fries twice in one day, sure.

White Castles-

Man, I love me some White Castle hamburgers. I only think of them really when I see the frozen ones. Even then my brain goes "well you know they are not as good as the real ones..." and my belly goes "yup" and off we go, safe again. ...but for how long?!?!?!?!
FAT FACT(s):
1) The first time I had the castle I was 11 years old, and was visiting my Grandma in Edison NJ. I put down 10 of them. TEN OF THEM!
2) My uncle Jim and I want to The Castle at 10AM once because there were none in Florida at the time and he was up for a visit.
3) I have, while 100% sober and not hungover, eaten White Castle before 10 AM
4) In college, any less than 12 was a snack.


Cookies (specifically chocolate chip cookies)
FAT FACT: I used to eat an entire sleeve of Chips Ahoy! in one sitting. Every. Goddamn. Day.

For years.

Seriously, I used to just sit down after school and bang out a sleeve while I was watching Star Blazers or reading a comic book. Jesus, if I could go back and change something I'd tell 11 year old me "listen, knock this shit off now, or things are gonna be really bad for you in your thirties!"

I know me, though and, as I was convinced that the world was going to end in 2000 when I was 11, what the hell would it matter?*

Again, how exactly am I still walking around? I'm 90% sure I was still drinking whole milk at this point as well. When I cut myself it should be like brie.

Bagels-
oddly enough, I don't miss them very much at all, and I used to eat them ALL THE FREAKIN' TIME!

Chinese Food-

Now, I'll tell my story one day of how I got introduced to and summarily addicted to the heroin-like charms of Chinese Food.

As it stands now, I fight the eternal battle with General Tso. Tso and I have met on the culinary battlefield numerous times. Sometimes he wins and I am sent to the infirmary, sometimes I win and he is destroyed. However, he's winning the war. I get slower and fatter and he remains tasty and inviting.

Damn you, Tso!

FAT FACT:
I have eaten an inordinate amount of this, but the General Tso's at the Dragon Palace in Newtown PA is absolutely awful.



* when I was about 12 I saw a documentary on Nostrodamus claiming World War Three would start in 1986. "Well, that settles it," I thought, "I'm totally going to die a virgin!"

Guerrilla Motvational Speaker available for impromptu "atta girls" at local shoppes

I was at Quick Chek* this AM when that done "Just Can't Get Enough" by Depeche Mode came on and everyone of a certain age (I'm gonna go with 36-45ish) started bopping their heads and whatnot. It was pretty funny. A girl behind me in line said "Oh remember this song? I miss the 80's!"

"I smiled back, "Well, i don't miss High School or my horrible acne, but I like the music."

"The 80s were great," she said. "I was skinny and cute and had good hair back then..." she gave a wistful sigh. Now this woman wasn't a hot mess by any means but she just looked kind of miserable at that moment.

So, naturally I opened up my trap.

"Look," I said very seriously, "if you have stuff about your life you want to change, it's not too late to do it. You just have to make the choice and do it. Look at me, I'm 39 and I've lost 37 pounds so far!"

She asked how I told her how and that the gym I was going to was offering no sign up and all that.

"I've been waiting for that deal tp come back" she said.

"There's you sign, then. If you want to change you have to make the choice. It's not easy, but it worth it to make your life better. I'm doing it and my wife lost over 50 pounds so far."

I don't know if I helped or not, but I'd like to think so.


* You know I didn't realize there was no second "c" in their name until I was like 34? Johnny Observant.

Take it away!

Yeah. I teared up.



Also, all you Jillian haters can go pound salt. She's a softie when something gets her. Please note this does not make me fear her any less :)

It's a thintervention!

I see people on Facebook all the time talking about how unrealistic the Biggest Loser is because "well, all they do is work out and sleep. I could do that too if all I did was work out and sleep!*" and "us Regular People" can't do that.

You may not be able to do what they do on the show exactly, but I didn't and I'm almost at 40 pounds. My wife didn't and she's well past fifty pounds. However, the "Regular People" stick to their tired excuses that it's "too extreme" to be realistic.

Of course they have to do extreme measures to get the weight off. These people are killing themselves and need to be shocked into shape. It's like going into a drug treatment. It's food rehab. It's life rehab.

These people are extreme cases. you don't get to 450 pounds by having McDonald's once in a while. You get to that by eating it every day. It's a lifestyle that is being altered. It's either you... get your crap together, work out for the 8 hours a day you need to in order to drop this weight, or, quite simply, you *die.*

That's the reality I was faced with and sure as shootin', if you change your eating habits and you get up and sweat, things change. My Mom dying lit a fire under me and I swore I was not going to remain a fat and unhealthy man for the rest of my life. I know you can't turn back the clock, but you can not set it so far ahead, you know?

The "Regular People" brigade all poo-poo the idea of doing it easily at home, but damn it all, Danny lost an additional FIFTY NINE pounds in two months at home. I don't even have that much more to go, so that's inspiring.

Which brings me to our BL update.

We're in the Final Four with Danny, Rudy, Amanda and Liz. there's a few things I wanted to say at this point:
- Danny is starting to turn into like, Rock Hudson or something.
- Rudy's wife is smokin' hot.
- I feel a little bad for Liz due to her situation.
- I'm staring to think Amanda has it in her
- Kudos to Jillian for calling Rudy out last week for sending my girl (or, more specifically Danny's girl) Rebecca home because she was a bigger threat.

So, we saw how the contestants dealt with being home. Before they got to run what has become the OMFG moment of their lives, the 26.2 mile Marathon, Bob and Jillian showed up and checked up on them and beat em up for a little while, and that's always fun!

They all finished the Marathon with Liz and Danny coming in last, at about 7 hours. Seriously though? You have to hand it to all 4 of these folks and Rudy ran the whole damn way.

Then the weigh in. Liz and Amanda banged out a very respectable 16 pounds each while Rudy did something insane in the 40s and Danny just Godzilla-ed* his way through the competition with 59 pounds, losing almost a pound a freaking day while he was home.

Thus, Amanda and Liz are below the yellow line. OK. Look, I like Liz just fine, but how can you deny America's Choice? Vote Amanda!

You have until 3PM.


Vote


* Yes, I just made it a verb. So what?

Week 75, not bad, considering...

Starting weight: 264.2
Weight last week: 227.4
Current weight: 226.4
Lost this week: 1
Total lost to date: 37.8

Weight remaining to lose: 46.4 pounds

AND I WILL TAKE THAT POUND!

Seriously, considering it was Thanksgiving this week and I didn't work out nearly as much as usual, I'm OK with this!

I had Runnus Interruptus at the gym yesterday when my kid's school called about a minor incident and I had to leave the gym. When I went back later and scanned my badge the computer was like "WARNING: ALREADY ON PREMISES" and I thought that's inconvenient for people who go twice a day.

Living without a net

So that picture, right there? That there's part of a big, big step.

The missus and I gave away our fat clothes today.

That's right, in a dizzying display of "Holy shit, nothing fits right anymore!" we gathered up and gave to charity all of our fat clothes.*

Three bags of gigantic pants, enormous shirts, and what thought was a hot air balloon but it turned out to be a suit jacket.

There were a few pieces I was sad to see go, but man, some of my wardrobe was frigging tragic.

No going back, not now, not ever!


* I know what you're thinking, "Do we want to encourage people to be big?" No, of course not. That doesn't mean they don't need a nice couple pair of 36x30 jeans that I only wore like 4 times while they head down the weight loss highway as well. I am an optimist!

Happy Turkey Day, Turkeys!

Don't overdo it, and you'll be OK. I don't feel like I can be rolled out to the car so I'm ahead of the game as far as I am concerned for today, anyhow.

We're heading into the Holiday Eating season, so pace yourselves and we'll all get this through this together.

Also, today, if you want seconds, go ahead. We here at the Sporty By Forty Initiative do not, however, encourage thirds and fourths...

That's how we eneded up like this in the first place, remember?

Attn: Dudes at the gym, specifically in the Locker Room Area. RE: The rather cavalier display of dongs as of late...

Please note: this post contains language of a frank nature*

Look, I know it's the gym, and you're all ripped and everything and you're in better shape then I am, but for the Love of Pete, have a little decorum! Yes, you're surrounded by men and should feel comfortable, and we all like being naked, but enough is enough. Really, if you're walking to the shower, you're carrying a towel already. How about just covering up the Wedding Tackle, huh?

After all, it's the gym, not Plato's Retreat.

Oh, and to those of gents who are obviously just showing off? You know who you are. Yes, Human Tripod, I'm talking about you. We get it, you are blessed with an appendage that makes women shudder and condom manufacturers lose sleep at night. You have a huge wang, congratulations, maybe you'll get a statur or something someday**. Seriously, good for you, kudos and all that. Just...come on, man, give a dude some space! I'm sitting down, minding my own business, putting on my sneakers and you're right there, flapping that thing about like an elephant shaking off the dust of the Serengeti.

If you're that eager to just give it away there, Snufalupagus, I'm sure there's some websites you could post pictures on. I just wanna use the Nautilus.

* no that was not on purpose, but still..."Frank nature"...hee hee...
** or part of a statue...of sorts...

Week 74: A little bit lighter now...a little less chubby now...

Starting weight: 264.2
Weight last week: 229.0
Current weight: 227.4
Lost this week: 1.6
Total lost to date: 36.8

Weight remaining to lose: 47.4 pounds

OK, yeah I'll take this. I was thinking I gained this week and was less than enthused about it, but all's well in the end :)

40 pounds by Christmas? Maybe.

Marvin Gaye must not have been talking about this particular Night Shift

I think I like Day-Gymmers better than the Night-Gymmers. There's a few reasons, actually.

1) The music is, for the most part, approximately sixty seven kajillion % better during the day. The other day we had a run of Twisted Sister, Black Sabbath, Judas Priest, Van Halen, and a couple other great workin' out songs* before we got Queensryche'd**

2) The people are friendlier. Everyone is pretty happy (probably because they are not at work?) and you get "hello"s and whatnot.

3) there are, generally, more people who look like me (doughy) than people who look like Adonis.

The Night Shift is more problematic:

1) Club Music. Seriously? Dance music in a gym? I barely tolerate this crap in a club where dancing is supposed to take place, is one thing. It's dark and you're trying to "score with chicks***" and "hang with your bros" and whatever, but Christ Almighty, the lights are on, there's three women here (and they are more interested in their treadmills than you), and your music sucks donkey balls. Why does it need to be so loud my MP3 player can't compete?

2) What asshat decided dudes could wear giant diamond stud earrings? That's just another reason your dad wants to drive off a cliff, and your girlfriend's Dad thinks you're not good enough for his little girl.

3) another is that stupid trucker hat. Why are you wearing a blinged-out trucker in the gym in the first place? Also why are you wearing it like this?:



First, only one person can pull this off and his name is Scotty


And he's been dead since 1968.


You're at the gym. Seriously, man. I can understand the people who run in a sweatshirt and a toque to sweat a lot, but a vented trucker hat? Don't get me started about the baggy shorts and the awful Ed Hardy wifebeater.

I'm not a fashion plate. Never have been. I mean, I had a pair of Beatle Boots in 1990 so I am generally loath to give fashion advice, but I think, like "you wouldn't wear speedos and combat boots to a funeral****" this should be obvious.

Today, the gym was mobbed. I've never seen it so crowded during the day. I also got to see a dude using the 100 pound dumbells. I handed him my wallet as a precautionary measure in case he wanted it later.

He then walked across the room and ate a Stairmaster.


* What? Black Sabbath's "Children of the Grave" is a phenomenal treadmill tune!

** Yeah, one of the slower tracks. Messed up my whole rhythm. "Queen of the Reich" would have solved that, spit-spot.

*** or are they "bitches" and "hoes" these days? I can never keep up.

**** unless it's in the will, of course. Hee hee, I can picture this now. "Dammit, someone help Uncle Earl into his Doc Marten's! We have to get to the Funeral home, we're pall bearers for crying out loud!"

Watching BL tonight...

but I already know what happened and am not pleased.

DAMMIT, RUDY!

Also, I'm gonna try and sneak in some more exercise tonight as well.

Week 73: Down a little

Starting weight: 264.2
Weight last week: 230.1
Current weight: 229.0
Lost this week: 1.1
Total lost to date: 35.2

Weight remaining to lose: 49 pounds


So I am pretty pleased all things considered. I'm wondering what I can do (in addition to being more strict with my food) to ramp it up. Maybe try a different set of machines? Return to jump rope? More water?

Oh, so they sent Daniel and Shay home last week. I bet this week it's either Rebecca or Amanda. Now, I don't much care if America's Choice goes home, bit I like Rebecca. Not as much as Daniel, mind you, but I think she's all right.

Last week was ALL about gameplay, and that ought to piss off Bob and Jillian for sure.

Disorientation 101

So after leaving the gym after a particularly sweaty and grueling workout yesterday I walked up to my car and got in. I looked around in a panic! Where was my stuff? What the hell had someone done to the interior of my car?!?!?!?!?!

It was trashed.

I quickly looked around wondering what the hell had happened when it hit me.

Oh crap, I thought, this is not my car!

Yes, I had gotten in a completely different person's vehicle! I quickly scrambled out and sure enough, same make and model and color, but the interior was very sloppy and dirty* and smelled like smoke.

Sure enough, my car was parked in the same exact space, one row over.

Odd glitch in the Matrix, that.

For your entertainment, here's me at the gym looking like Bullethead McGee or something...



Someone get me a neck donor!


* Anyone who knows me is saying "Wow, how bad was this car?" as mine is usually pretty messy. Messy and cluttered, yeah. Looking like bums sleep there? Not so much.

Week 72: Up, Up and oi vey!

Starting weight: 264.2
Weight last week: 227.
Current weight: 230.1
Lost this week: UP 3.1
Total lost to date: 34.1

Weight remaining to lose: 50.1 pounds

I knew I was in store for a gain. I didn't keep track of my food, I felt crappy, and I didn't exercise. Nobody to blame but yours truly.

I walked through the woods for and hour and 45 minutes and ended up sweating like a frigging beast, so that was good.

Back to the gym today for sure and we'll see if I can't get my shit back together.

Oh, anybody want to buy a car?

Two things...

1) They sent Tracey home on BL this week. Whee!

2) I don't know whether to weigh in tomorrow or Wed, as I will be unable to do so on Tuesday due to extenuating circumstances.

All I know is I have been feeling under the weather, so I haven't been to the gym since last Tuesday. That certainly bodes well, doesn't it?

Didn't get to it yet...

Biggest Loser that is. I'm gonna go watch it now, though...

Week 71: 227.0 It ain't *up* so I'm not upset.

Starting weight: 264.2
Weight last week: 227.
Current weight: 227.0
Lost this week: 0
Total lost to date: 37.2

Weight remaining to lose: 47 pounds

Next week may suck though because I think I am getting sick.

sigh.

I had to take a nap earlier, and now I am waiting on an important phone call that if I knew was not going to come, I could have prolonged the nappage. I needed the nappage.

in unrelated news, I just found out my friend Sarah's middle name is Jane and that just tickles the Doctor Who fan in me.

heading to the gym

and I hope this cough is allergies, not related to my kid having croup!

It's entirely possible...

that the gargantuan bowl of candy on the front desk @ the gym today just may have been a conflict of interests...

Snitches get stitches...

...but I get Thirty-Sixes!*




yes, plus my Godzilla 2000 promotional t-shirt that I haven't worn since about 2000 or thereabouts. I was a 36 waist when I graduated college. I was a 34 going in. Next stop, 34stown.

My chest feels like I got hit with a hammer, but it's starting to become quite tangibly worth it! 300 days to go, and a lot more to lose, but boy howdy, I am loving the results.



*Bitches! I know it's crude, but it's the internet...

Three Hundred Days! Also, ouch.

Three hundred days. Check that out.

I feel confident I can do 47 or so pounds in three hundred days, barring eating, like, a hovercraft or something.

So, I did join RetroFitness and I like it. The stretching room lacks one of those cool stretching structures that WOW had, but I don't need that, I'm just spoiled. Plus it's a good deal cheaper.

I'd love to have a pool though.

I did a lot of machines yesterday, and man alive am I feeling it today. I had my Biggest Loser protein drink after , so I think I'd have felt much worse. I think it's all cardio today!

Biggest loser update: Meh.

Due to circumstances beyond my control, I was unable to see BL on Tuesday, thus making my normal Wednesday post impossible.

So, I'm getting kind of sick of the Biggest Loser this year. It's getting hard to root for some people, like Shay and Daniel. I'm not 100% sure why.

It was a pretty low weight loss week for all concerned, except for Danny who mashed out an impressive 12 pounds after last weeks 15. Daniel is doing something wrong. I'll go so far as to say he doesn't even know what that something is.

Anyhoo, the Black team finally won a challenge, but still managed to lose the weigh in, because in this week's twist is was person to person. So if Shay beat Rudy, her team got a point. if Allen beat whoever the hell was up against Allen, he would get the point for his team. Three points would do it.

And it did, because Black lost, again. Looks like Bob may just have some contenders on his team this year, including my gal Rebecca. She delivered like the UPS man this week and brought her a-game.

I'd like to go through the remaining contestants and let you know my impressions.

Rebecca- she's got a shot. She's cute and spunky and we all know I like cute and spunky.
Allen- He's a nice guy, he's got the ability and drive and he just may have what it takes to do win. and I LOVE his eyebrows!
Abby- despite being sent home, I believe she has won her own personal contest. BL was, for her, a kick in the ass to start her life over from scratch after losing her husband and kids. I don't think I'd be able to do it, that's for sure. She brought Jillian to tears and in that moment I knew she was going to be OK.
Danny- I love the big lug. His enthusiasm is catchy as hell, and you know he weill not put the weight back on, whenever he leaves. He's also the only power player on black this year. he was the only black player to beat their opponent! I also think they are going to foolishly vote him off at some point.
Tracey- Like Abby said, she's crazy, but I have a gruding respect for her. She puts in the work and has never pretended to be in this for anything other than to win. If she does she will get fat again. Just a hunch.
Amanda- Dammit, America's Choice, get cracking. You can do it, everyone else knows you can do it, they took you out first in the challenge, so wake the frick up honey! Your pals Shay and Daniel will vote you off soon enough.
Liz- She's an angry southern Grandma. You have to love her, but for goodness sake, do not cross her. The glee she had when they had to vote a non-Danny home was palpable.
Rudy- man, 101 pounds in 7 weeks. Could he have been happier? I like Rudy a lot and I think he has potential to take it.
Shay- I'm getting tired of her "Blue team has no heart" shchtik. Aside from the Nutbar, they are heart, personified. Black is 1 weigh in from turning on itself like a pack of jackals. Was I touched by her story? Sure I was, but i'm starting to think some of it is an act.
Daniel- I don't know what the hell is going on here, but I no longer think he's what he seems to be. He should have been gone by now, but has allied himself with people other people like.

Maybe Bob has this year's Biggest Loser?

7 more episodes to go kids.

Week 70: 227.0 We'll take that, thanks very much

Starting weight: 264.2
Weight last week: 229.2
Current weight: 227.0
Lost this week: 2.2
Total lost to date: 37.2

Weight remaining to lose: 47 pounds


For some reason, 47 pounds looks daunting to me today!

In the "It's about time, there Lazybones" dept":

Not a lot to say about the Biggest Loser last week either.

Blue Team won the challenge right at the get go (well, Tracy watched while everyone else sweat their collective bollocks off. Allen was a MONSTER as usual!) They had to dig 4 boxes that contained keys out of a six foot deep hole in the beach.

Took ‘em damn near an hour to do it to boot! The prize was tickets to go home. The catch, of course was they were on their own for a week.

Or were they?

Turns out they could send the other team home, which is exactly what they did. So, we didn’t get a lot of “Crazy Eyes drama” this week, but we did get a lot of “Oh my God, did they eat that or didn’t they” editing?

When the Black team came back they knew they had their work cut out for them. After the Blue Team weighed in Black had to lose 45 pounds. When Danny banged out an very impressive fifteen pounds it looked as if they might actually pull it off. Then we got to Daniel.

Daniel, whom I do not believe did anything wrong, went UP a pound. Something is way fishy here.

The long story short was they voted Dina off and I am staring to think both Daniel and Shay are more than playing the game here.

2 things before I go,

1) sorry to Allen for spelling his name wrong in the past. and

2) What's with families of contestants eating like goddamn savages when they all went out to dinner? Shay's husband had two full meals! Holy crap!

Gilbert asked me, "So, when you run in the woods, do you run downhill too?"

What do you think?





Please note the ultra rickety staircase that goes down steeply with no handrails! That bridge goes over wetlands as well. It was a safer journey for Frodo & Co. to get rid of that sodding ring at Mount Doom!

Yeah, we're running uphill only right now, except on certain steps. That and on straights as well.

Week 70: 229.2 sheesh...

Starting weight: 264.2
Weight last week: 230.7
Current weight: 229.2
Lost this week: 1.5
Total lost to date: 35

Weight remaining to lose: 49.2 pounds

Well I made it on Tuesday with nary a minute to spare. I am actually signing up at Retro Fitness tomorrow after the Job Fair in the Brunz.

I am a busy beaver tomorrow!

More soon...

Rain, rain, go away...

I'd like to run outside and play!

I think I may join Retro Fitness today. It's really close, and they're running a "no sign up fee" special right now.

WHEEL! OF! CRAAAAAAZY! A Biggest Loser Update!

So, we open with a Temptation Challenge this week where we have a big ol’ Wheel of Fortune with covered serving dishes on it. Under the covers are either $1,000, a snack worth up to 1000 calories or a Golden Ticket. The ticket allowed you to pick the players that would make up the new blue and black teams AND you could pick the trainers.

So, Danny goes up and gets a big ol 1K calorie slab o’ cake. It looked so amazingly good and I thought, “How many times have I eaten a piece of cake that big, or, for that matter, two hunks of cake that big in one sitting?

The players continued to spin, Daniel got a cupcake, Alan got a teeny little wee one but then Tracy came up. The wind picked up and she spun. Sure enough, Willy Whackjob got the ticket.

So, what did she do?

She joined Bob’s team (who looked like he’d rather eat poop) and took Daniel, Rebecca, Shay, Liz, coach Mo and Alan and left Jillian with the remaining players.

Here’s why this appeared stupid:

• Jillian was waiting to physically beat her to a pulp
• Bob doesn’t care for her in the least
  
• She separated teams causing more animosity amongst her opponents

Here’s where it appeared smart:

• She loaded up her team with heavy hitters and weight losers
  
• She got away from Jillian

Here’s how it played out, in actuality:

1) Blue team won the challenge, getting videos from their families. This was a nice morale builder for them. When Liz asked Danny to watch her video with her I Was touched because they are so close. When it was revealed that it was actually his video I damn near bawled. That was a very nice thing for Liz to do.

2) What seemed like a bad thing of people being separated from their support (teammates or favorite trainers) actually turned out to be pretty advantageous, showing these people that they actually could rely on themselves instead of others. This probably was not something Crazy-Eyes put into consideration.

3) The Blue Team fell below the yellow line and she was on the chopping block

So who went home?

Coach Mo. Yeah, you read that right. Coach Mo! He somehow convinced the team to send him home because he wasn’t going to be able to pull his own weight due to injury. Mind you, he carried the purple team for two friggin' weeks when Tracey wasn’t there, but we seem to have forgotten that.

Now, here are some thoughts I have.

• I think the wheel was rigged. You heard me. I think the producers know Tracey is the loosest of cannons and her getting the Golden Ticket will make for good TV so they rigged it. She sure didn't look as psyched as she should have. That said, she's a couple sammiches short of a proper picnic, so maybe I'm expecting something else...
  
• I wondered last week when Daniel didn’t lose if he had waterloaded. Now, that he lost this week and Shay banged out an very impressive 16 pounds this week, I am left to wonder if they both didn’t do it. I didn’t think Daniel was a player like that, but hey, maybe I’m naïve. Maybe he’s playing with the best of intentions, but still, I wonder.
• Rebecca, Rebecca, Rebecca. Becky. Beckers... It's a known fact that here at the Compound there's a split feeling about you. As the half of the house that likes you, I feel like I should be the one to ask you this: What in the ever lovin' green hell happened to your hair?
• Liz is a class act. So is Rebecca for that matter.
• Dina, for the love of all that is sacred and holy, JUMP!
  

I guess we’ll have to see how this plays out. It will be nothing if not interesting.

In unrelated news I walked/ran about 4 miles at Cheesquake today, and did 6 miles yesterday as a sort of punishment to my body for gaining four pounds.

* Drank a load of water to sabotage the weigh in.

Week 69*: 230.7 Sexy has, apparently, left the building. Toninght, sexy will be played by the Doughy White Guy.

Starting weight: 264.2
Weight last week: 226.8
Current weight: 230.7
Lost this week: UP a big THREE POINT NINE-ER
Total lost to date: 33.5

Weight remaining to lose: 50.7 pounds



Man, it just goes to show you, you can't screw around too much AKA- Big Ed's Ribs are a bitch.

I feel like my 4 mile walk and run on Friday was a big ol' waste of effort. Grrrrrrrrr. Damn you, food! Stop being delicious!

So I went on a SIX MILE walk/run today and I am telling you something right here: I am going to sleep like a baby tonight. Here's how it went:
Bluetrail until you hit the junction, then red/green back to the main hub below the Interpretive Center, then the yellow trail twice.

I took my wife to Cheesquake yesterday for the first time and we did 2.5 miles (Red Trail). It was a lot of fun to take someone with me for a change.

Friday I did 4 miles, mainly by accident and the underestimation of distance.

I am going to stop this here because I am pretty tapped out mentally, and have lots of other stuff to do.

See you tomorrow.

Biggest Loser Week 4: It's a lock!

This week was interesting. There wasn’t as much, well I'm gonna call it "nutbar fallout" from the fantastic group screwing that Crazy-Eyes Tracey dished out at last weeks weigh-in. There was, however, a heck of a curveball thrown at the players as they came back to the house to see all the kitchen cabinets and whatnot chained and padlocked.

Alison informed the unlucky lot that they would be ordering out all week long! Bob and Jillian didn’t take it so hot, and decided to take the group out to dinner and show them how you can go out to eat and still eat well, as opposed to the same old way that led them to be at the Biggest Loser Ranch.

The first Challenge this week was a quiz to pick the healthiest of three chicken dishes, and the winner got healthy groceries for a year. It was between Allen and Abby, Danny and Liz and Daniel and Shay. Danny and Liz got it, and while I like them both, I wanted it for Shay. The woman works three jobs, and as she said this would have meant “1 less job.”

The actual physical challenge was for immunity and was an inclined platform that you had to hang from some handles or you would go a-sliding into the pool. Daniel and Allen were the last two standing, erm, hanging I mean, and it was young Daniel who remained triumphant.

There’s a really good possibility that he could take this, I think.

Danny and Liz and Julio all ended up below the yellow line. I was surprised because Julio is actually visibly thinner in his interviews this week. However one of them had to go home, and it was Julio.

Somehow, Crazy Eyes lost four pounds, despite Doctor H’s warnings that she was not supposed to lose weight. Her partner is, of course, Coach Mo and he is just saddled with her. I feel bad for the guy because he’s busting his ass.

Next week, it goes back to two teams, which I am not terribly thrilled about. It may, however, get coach Mo away from that whack-a-do. I worry about Shay being separated from Daniel though, because he is a great support for her.

I think we're in for an interesting week next episode!

Now for my rant. There’s a Biggest Loser recap I tend to visit so that I can keep track of the players and make sure I didn’t miss anything and there seems to be a real problem amongst the folks there with Jillian. Here’s everyone’s gripes, in a nutshell:

1) She swears too much

2) She’s "mean" and yells at them too much and should be nicer. She demeans and belittles them.

3) She only seems interested in promoting herself and doesn’t really care about the contestants.

Let’s take this one at a time, shall we?

OK, she probably swears a bit too much, I’ll give you that. I think NBC was cutting it out mostly and they left it a lot more in this year, but it has dwindled down since the premiere. I am sick of people being upset that it’s bleeped, however. “I watch this with my kids!” they cry! I’m sure those kids have never heard those words anywhere, either.

Is she mean? No, I don’t think she is. Quite frankly, the only people who say that someone else is “mean” are girls, or women. I mean, come on, as an adult there's no excuse for calling another person "mean." This is true. You’ll never hear a, say, 40 year old man say “I don’t like that Dave in accounting. He’s mean!*” I think boys stop saying this in about fifth grade, unless they are referring to a dog, or, I suppose, if it comes back as slang, i.e. “Those are some mean looking shoes, my man!”

The people on the Biggest Loser do not need anyone to be nicer to them. The people around them were plenty “nice” and made them feel good about themselves and that is why they are 400 pounds. The reason I was crowding three hundred pounds was certainly not because I had an angry woman threatening to ride me like a pony!** My Nurse Practitioner read me the riot act and that helped kick my ass into gear.

So is my NP "mean?" Hell no, I believe she has been instrumental in saving my life.

These people go to the ranch knowing full well Jillian is going to destroy them, and that is what they need. They need to be rebuilt and rewired from the ground up.

The third thing is such straight-up, hardcore, absolute bullshit that I really don’t want to address it. Let me just say if she didn’t care about the contestants why does her team routinely trounce Bob’s? She works them.

You can see she genuinely cares, but her way of showing it is to beat the living hell out of you until you realize you’re worth having the hell beat out of. Am I making sense here?

Also, never once have I heard her berate or belittle the contestants. She may yell at you, OK she will yell at you, but she will always show you what your are capable of and never put you down. Oh, she'll yell at you for not giving your all, but I think we all need a little of that once in a while.

Anyway, it’s late and I’m going to have to post my other, semi-related rant tomorrow because I have to go to sleep.

Did another trail today, by the way. The red one! I also discovered there is a blue trail as well. I want to see where that goes!

* He might say “I hate that douchebag Dave in accounting, He’s a complete asshole!”

** No, not like that, but that bears some merit as well.

Week 69*: 226.8 Bringing Sexy Back (albeit very, very slowly)

Starting weight: 264.2
Weight last week: 229.6
Current weight: 226.8
Lost this week: 2.8
Total lost to date: 37.4

Weight remaining to lose: 46.8 pounds

I swear to you, I'm so goddamn gassy, I feel like if I trip while on my walk I might go down like the Hindenberg.

Despite that, I am also filled with joy! Very close to 225 which is when I said I'd get a new tattoo. Alas, I am not working now, so that's temporarily out of the question**.

I had a great walk today, and then came home and jumped some rope, poorly as usual.

So for breakfast today I had a new (to me) cereal called Ezekiel 4:9. Yes, I'm serious. It's supposed to be pretty good for you and I imagine it is as it tastes like dirt. I mean like I felt like I was eating the actual cereal box.

Now, it's filling as all hell, I'll give you that. I'm not giving up on it yet. I'm gonna try blueberries in it tomorrow.

So, yeah, fine, it's what the Bible said to eat, but let's face it, this is what they had available! I'd like to think if Ezekiel came across like, an IHOP or something he'd have been like "Fellas! You have got to try this. No, seriously, screw the cereal, someone write this down, this is delicious!"

Well, that's that for now! I'll be back tomorrow with a Biggest Loser wrap-up and a rant.



*I'm not going to make the obvious joke here. I want to, but I won't. I will, however, tell you one of my favorite jokes:

A Chinese couple are in bed and the husband turns to his wife and says "I don't know about you, but I'd love a little 'sixty-nine!'"
She turns to him and says "Beef and Broccoli?!?! Now?!?!"

** Unless, of course, I win the Big Game tonight, in which case, inkers away!

The accidental walk...

So, I went for a walk at Cheesquake Park and decided I wanted to do a little more than the yellow 20 minute trail (which I explored previously), but nothing so long as the 90 minute Green trail. So according to this sign:



I wanted the nice 40 minute red trail. THE RED TRAIL. Everyone write that down, this becomes important later in the story. So, off I go into the woods. it's nice, the colors are more muted as it was overcast, and it made the stuff that did stand out pop all the more like this moss-




I saw a lot of cool mushrooms like this one I though might house Smurfs.

like so-




So, I came to a junction, and I could either choose the red or green trail. So, I think "green means 'go' and so off I went. That's right, on the green trail. Can we take another look at the sign please?




Thank you.

Yep, that was the wrong choice.

So the green trail was a lot of up and down including this steep staircase:


which led to this awesome swamp which had this boss walkway:



Along the way there were nice holly trees as well.







And cool fungi.







I wish the tall white one had come out better. It was really neat!

Now, at one point there's a nice walkway built by Boy Scouts. This is cool because otherwise you'd be walking in the mud. You know, sort of like this:



WTF!?!?! How am I supposed to get to the other side? What am I, Super Mario? In retrospect, that may have been a 1UP mushroom at the beginning!

Needless to say I got a little muddy. Then it ends again, a little further on! Jeez!

After about an hour and change I was feeling a tad betrayed



Thinking, "This is the longest 40 minutes of my LIFE!" but it wasn't until I got to the end of the trail that I realized my, mistake.



It was a great walk anyway, despite my mistake. 3.5 miles of reasonably tough terrain in just under 2 hours.

BREAKING NEWS: I am now "Living Large"

That's right kids, seethe in jealousy. Not only is that a Dalek on my shirt, but it's a size large!

that's right, LARGE! I haven't been in a large since college! And I mean early on in college!

Hot damn, I fit in a large, and I am not uncomfortable!

I love it when a plan comes together.

Tune in later today for my story of how I accidentally hiked 3.5 miles through the woods because I got primary colors confused.

Nuttier than Squirrel Poo: Biggest Loser- Week 3

Well, after last week’s fuzzy-wuzzy “no child left behind” episode, the game was once again afoot this week. We opened with the players being asked to make a choice. For a two pound advantage at the weigh in you could give up your trainers for the week. I believe they did that once before as well a few seasons back, but you’d have to figure at this early stage of the game, who would be crazy enough to take it.

Tracey, that’s who.

Yep, fresh out of the hospital and still not allowed to work out at full capacity, Tracey must have been feeling desperate when she decided to take the offer because it affected not only her, but her partner, the friendly Coach Mo, as well. Without even consulting him, of course.

That was mistake number one. If you’re reading this and thinking “well, Rich, that sounds like she made more than one mistake” and you’d be 100% correct about that. She made two more, well actually one big one with two components, but the end result was certainly not the one she was looking for.

Anyway, after Bob and Jillian read her the riot act, and justifiably so (Bob going so far as to say he hated the game players because they always put the weight back on) we got to the business of working out.

We soon discover Abby has a stress fracture on her shin and she can’t do any land exercising, pool only. That’s never a good thing to hear, especially on the BL campus.

Then we get to the temptation. Each contestant was partitioned from the others by curtains, and a teeny 100 calorie cupcake was under the silver tray cover. The challenge was thus: whomever ate the most cupcakes in 10 minutes would have the ability to chose which team member would weigh in for the teams that week. That’s pretty huge. Now, had I been on the show, I would have said “Look, kids, let’s not fall into this trap. Why don’t we try and do this on our own merits and let the cards fall where they may?” and I think it might have worked.

I am not desperate, though. I am not trying to win 100K to help my husband’s business.* I am not Tracy.

Now she was not the only one. Antoine of the red team also had some, eating two of them, but wisely thinking “I might be able to win this for 200 calories.” Unfortunately, he was up against a desperate and increasingly unhinged sounding Tracey.

So, she wins. Jennifer was correct in stating her worry because “She doesn’t know what she’s doing when she’s doing it”

The challenge also gave us Antoine’s partner Sean giving us the best surprise face going, and Danny being yelled at not to eat any cupcakes by Liz, which was a crack up as well. Also, Jennifer screaming “Damn you, sprinkles!” was a nice touch as more tempting cupcakes with M&Ms and cookie bits and, yes sprinkles, were trotted out before the players.

Now, when Bob and Jillian find out what Tracey had done they went a little nuts, Jillian especially actually saying she had to calm down before she throttled Tracey with her bare hands. That would have made for some compelling TV,

Anyway, Daniel from the Orange team and the Amanda and Rebecca from the pink team both went to appeal to Tracey like she was a Mafia Don on this, the day of her daughter’s wedding, to ask for a favor. Daniel asking for her to let him weigh in, and the pink tem for Rebecca to go in place of Amanda. Tracey asked for the Pinkies to keep her here if she fell below the yellow line but they did not acquiesce. That sealed their fates in my optinion.

Now, at the weigh in, more often than not, Tracey’s plan began to crumble as her picks came up and lost respectable numbers. These were more in line, for the most part, with Week 2 numbers, but considering last week’s Bonanza of weight loss, you had to expect it.

Of course she chose Shay and Amanda, proving she’s a snake way too early in the game for her own good. Now, she decided to weigh in for her team and she, of course pulls in a slamming 11 pound loss. However, there was silence. Unreal!

What a dope.

No, seriously. If it were me, I’d have done the smart thing and let each team pick their own person to weigh in. Come on, you would engender yourself to the others, you would show yourself to be a team player, you’d improve your standing with the trainers, you’d protect your partner and you’d never get voted off that week if you happened to fall below the yellow line.

Instead, you have alienated yourself from the rest of the group and tipped your hand. I feel bad for Coach Mo.

So the red and orange team were below the line. The red team sacrificed themselves so Shay could stay. They lost a hell of a lot of weight at home to boot, so they made out OK. I’m glad for that.

Tomorrow I’m going to wax poetic about people’s complaints about the trainers this year.

* My husband does very well for himself, thank you. Wait a minute, what?