My pal Janet sent me an article from MSNBC the other day with the following headline:
“Exercise not likely to rev up your metabolism.
Studies bust myth that working out gives you a fat-burning boost”
She must know this stuff makes me completely berserk. My replies are below, followed by the original article:
Gee another in one of those "If you eat like shit, all the crunches in the world won't help you, you dilapidated slag heap" articles. Wonderful. More "scientific proof" for us chubbos to just give in and eat more biscuits. I guess it was a slow news day.
The quotes from the article are in bold courier font like this here, and my incoherent ranting follows.
Start exercising and you’ll become a round-the-clock, fat-burning machine, right? That’s long been a commonly held belief among exercisers and fitness experts alike. But a new report finds that, sadly, it’s not very likely.
The notion that exercise somehow boosts the body’s ability to burn fat for as long as 24 hours after a workout has led to a misperception among the general public that diet doesn’t matter so much as long as one exercises, says Edward Melanson, an exercise physiologist and associate professor of medicine at the University of Colorado in Denver.
Who is saying diet doesn't matter other than misinformed knuckleheads? Also, since when has the general public displayed anything other than rampant stupidity and wilful ignorance in regards to diet and nutrition? McDonald’s sales figures will back me up on this. As a collective society our knowledge of fitness and nutrition would fit under a Snapple lid.
All this isn’t to say, however, that you should not exercise to help lose weight and keep it off. “It’s not that exercise doesn’t help with weight loss,” says Melanson. “It’s that it’s harder to lose weight with exercise than diet.” That’s not surprising when you consider that it might take an hour to burn 400 calories but just five minutes to consume them.
Why is it always an either/or? Sweet Fancy Moses, kids, it's just the way it is! It's Diet AND Exercise. *Not* either/or. It’s a combo, for crying out loud!!! For most of us it's not mutually exclusive. Sure there's that one person we all know that eats like they have a hole in their neck and never gains an ounce,* but most of us are constrained to those pesky rules of biology. Calories in must be less than calories out. It's basic math, people.
Look, I know we're all looking for the magic bullet, but I don't think it's attainable, at least not yet. However, this is how they keep selling pills that make people go "I can still eat whatever I want and not go to the gym and just poop out the extra fat? Awesome!" and then they shart** in line buying a pallet of Little Debbies at the WalMart.
It's hard as hell, and I miss my crappy food. I do not miss the jiggling while walking or jogging though.
And really; "Experts ‘flabbergasted’"?????
Really? Really!?!?!? Flabbergasted? Are they like, NASCAR experts or Starship Mechanics? Maybe an expert in action figures and comics, sure*** but I can’t picture an actual scientist, in a labcoat with a clipboard and everything, looking at these results and going “Holy, shit! Johnson! Quickly, man, put down those Ding-Dongs and come in here and read this!
Johnson: “What is it?”
Scientist 1: “Look at these study results! I know it’s going to be hard to come to grips with this, so I’ll just come right out and say it! Apparently you need to watch your diet AND exercise if you want to lose weight! Frankly, I’m flabbergasted!”
No, you’re an asshat, is what you are.
But both Melanson and Endress say it can’t be ruled out that longer, harder and possibly different types of exercise performed regularly on consecutive days could lead to a more lasting post-workout fat burn. In Melanson’s research, for instance, participants all cycled for under an hour, burning up to 400 calories.
Ok, that's not a hell of a lot of exercise, really. I think this study just might be slightly flawed.
Pine has been a vegetarian for years but has had trouble with what he calls “portion lunacy,” especially with dessert. Instead of having one cookie from the tray, he’d have four.
Four, huh? Wow. You're a real lunatic, Mr. Pine. 100 proof maniac is what you are. How the hell are you not fused to your sofa, wearing a mumu? Four whole cookies? Somebody stop him, he's a danger to himself and others! I used to polish off a sleeve of Chips Ahoy! in one sitting. If he's a lunatic, I should be in some sort of culinary rubber-room. Your average 7 year old Girl Scout can eat 4 cookies. Unless they are the size of a DVD or something, I’m honestly not impressed.
Shit like this is why I need to get my blood pressure down.
* but then, they turn thirty and complain to you that they are getting fat. Well, my friend, you had a free ride for far too long. Welcome to Fat Club. First Rule of Fat Club is tell us where the cookies are and no one will get hurt!
** you know, a fart that manifests itself with a bit more of a physical presence. It's the "poltergeist" of the flatulence world.
*** and before you give me any ration of crap for that crack, keep in mind I am a fat dude who used to collect comics and action figures AND sell collectible toys. I have lived among them, these "Fatties in the Mist," and I, for a time, was one of them...
ORIGINAL ARTICLE
Jacqueline Stenson
MSNBC contributor
Start exercising and you’ll become a round-the-clock, fat-burning machine, right? That’s long been a commonly held belief among exercisers and fitness experts alike. But a new report finds that, sadly, it’s not very likely.
The notion that exercise somehow boosts the body’s ability to burn fat for as long as 24 hours after a workout has led to a misperception among the general public that diet doesn’t matter so much as long as one exercises, says Edward Melanson, an exercise physiologist and associate professor of medicine at the University of Colorado in Denver.
“People think they have a license to eat whatever they want, and our research shows that is definitely not the case,” he says. “You can easily undo what you set out to do.”
In the new report, published in the journal Exercise and Sport Sciences Reviews, Melanson and colleagues discuss research to date on the issue of burning fat during and after exercise. The authors conclude that while people do burn more fat when they are exercising than when they are not, they have no greater ability to burn fat over the next 24 hours than on days when they are couch potatoes.
“If you exercise and replace the calories you burn, you’re no better — with regard to how much fat you burn off — than if you didn’t exercise,” says Melanson.
Experts ‘flabbergasted’
In their own research, Melanson and his team studied moderately active people who, on separate days, performed low-intensity or high-intensity cycling, or no structured exercise at all. They repeated their experiment with endurance athletes (competitive runners and triathletes), while comparing sedentary obese people with sedentary lean people, and then again while comparing older men with younger men.
None of these studies, which involved a total of 65 exercisers whose dietary intake was closely controlled, showed that people burned substantially more fat in the 24 hours after they exercised than on days when they didn’t exercise. Melanson says other experts in his field have been “flabbergasted” by the results.
“Bottom line is that we once thought that exercise would burn calories, especially fat calories, for a long period after a bout of exercise,” says exercise physiologist Gerald Endress, fitness director for the Duke University Diet and Fitness Center who was not involved in the research. “This does not seem to be the case.”
But both Melanson and Endress say it can’t be ruled out that longer, harder and possibly different types of exercise performed regularly on consecutive days could lead to a more lasting post-workout fat burn. In Melanson’s research, for instance, participants all cycled for under an hour, burning up to 400 calories.
The new paper offers additional evidence that exercise does not boost metabolism as much as widely believed, Endress says. In addition to the misperception that exercise greatly hikes fat burning after exercise, there is also the false belief that weight training dramatically increases metabolism by adding muscle, he notes.
While it’s true that a pound of muscle burns more calories than a pound of fat — about seven to 10 calories a day versus two calories — most people don’t put on enough muscle to make much of a difference, Endress says.
“Building muscle is very difficult for most individuals because it requires heavy weight workouts and a higher intake of calories,” he says. “Average fitness enthusiasts [who are working out to gain muscle] will only add four to five pounds of lean mass,” he says, and burn an additional 28 to 50 calories a day. (Men tend to gain more muscle, on average, than women.)
Keep moving
All this isn’t to say, however, that you should not exercise to help lose weight and keep it off. “It’s not that exercise doesn’t help with weight loss,” says Melanson. “It’s that it’s harder to lose weight with exercise than diet.” That’s not surprising when you consider that it might take an hour to burn 400 calories but just five minutes to consume them.
Essentially, weight loss comes down to math, experts say, and the number of calories in versus calories out. To lose a pound of fat, you need to create a deficit of about 3,500 calories. That can be done with both diet and exercise. To lose a pound a week, for instance, you could reduce your food intake by 500 calories a day or burn an additional 500 calories each day through exercise — or do some combination of diet and exercise that knocks off 500 calories. So if you exercise and then don’t replace the calories you burned during the workout, your body will burn more fat because you’ve created a caloric deficit.
The government’s physical activity guidelines released last year state that people “vary a great deal in how much physical activity they need to achieve and maintain a healthy weight. Some need more physical activity than others to maintain a healthy body weight, to lose weight or to keep weight off once it has been lost.”
Many people, the guidelines say, will need to engage in the equivalent of more than 150 minutes (2.5 hours) a week of moderate-intensity activity to maintain their weight and possibly more than 300 minutes (five hours) to lose significant amounts of weight.
To get the biggest bang for your buck while exercising, continually challenge yourself, suggests Pete McCall, an exercise physiologist at the American Council on Exercise in San Diego.
Gradually ratcheting up the exercise intensity, for instance, burns more calories minute-for-minute than sticking with a slow but steady pace. One way to kick up your program is to interval train, McCall says. People who like to work out on the treadmill or elliptical machine at the gym, for instance, could try going faster and harder during the commercials on the TV screens in front of them, he says. Joggers could incorporate sprints into their routine.
The more fit you become, the harder you can work out — and the more calories you’ll ultimately burn, notes Melanson. That’s a bonus for the many people with limited time for exercise.
Secrets to weight-loss success
John Pine, 27, of Pittsburgh credits both diet and exercise with helping him to lose more than 50 pounds in the last year. But he attributes “the vast majority of this to a pretty rigorous physical activity schedule.”
Pine has been a vegetarian for years but has had trouble with what he calls “portion lunacy,” especially with dessert. Instead of having one cookie from the tray, he’d have four.
He’s eating a healthier diet now — practicing better portion control — but still gives in to some dessert cravings. To make up for it and keep the weight off, he works out hard six days a week. His early morning workouts consist of a group exercise class — such as spinning and boot camp — followed by weight training.
“It’s like part of my day,” Pine says. “It’s no different than going to work now.”
Some say exercise can help with weight loss by doing more than burning calories.
Lynne Nelson, 61, of Pitman, N.J., believes diet was the key factor in losing 40 pounds between the fall of 2007 and spring of 2008. But the two-mile-a-day walking program she started helps not only to burn calories but also to keep her from overeating. Instead of snacking while preparing dinner, she now walks with her husband.
“In the old days, I would have all of my calories consumed while I made dinner because I was hungry and nibbled like crazy,” she says. “I really did not want my husband to know that I had been stuffing food in my mouth the whole time I was cooking, so I would sit down and eat a regular dinner even though it was just like eating two meals. Now I put something in the oven while we are out walking for 45 minutes, and as soon as we get home, it is ready to eat.”
Unlike Pine and Nelson, Becky Speer, 27, of Dallas believes diet and exercise were equally effective in her weight loss. She shed 43 pounds in 2007.
The exercise — including running and biking almost every day — helped her lose weight by burning calories but also by boosting her motivation to stick with her weight-loss program and avoid dietary missteps, she says.
“It helps me to gain more confidence and to feel good about myself,” says Speer. “And if you’re feeling good, you don’t want to go back to where you were before.”
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Join the Movement!
Please note: This entry contains frank and honest discussion of some mature content.*
So, here’s my first post-Biggest Loser Wednesday column. So what am I gonna talk about?
How about food?
That’s right, I’m going to focus on food I have tried in my quest to achieve “Sporty” status.
Today’s product-
GNU FOODS “Flavor and Fiber” bars.
So, the missus picked up a pack of these at Whole Foods the other day. 1 bar contains 6 whole grains, and 12 grams of fiber, roughly the equivalent of fifty four sheets of loose-leaf paper. Actually, it’s nearly 50% of your recommended daily fiber.
Yeah, you read that right. In one 1.6 oz bar you get a preposterous amount of fiber. Fiber is good for you. It’s good for your heart. It fills you up so it helps you lose weight, and it keeps you regular.
I find it funny that a product designed to make the process of pooping easier has a motto of “Join the Movement.” I mean, if I were 12 and asked to make up a product, I probably would have made a laxative and used that slogan. It’s adorably cheeky!
We got Chocolate Brownie flavor. You probably want to know a few things:
1) Does it work?
2) How much does it work?
3) How does it taste?
All very valid questions!
Well, to answer questions 1 and 2 I’d have to say I am not 100% sure if they are making me any more regular or not. I mean, I have only had 2, and I’m not a guy who’s “not regular,” you know? Now, your mileage may vary, but let’s just say it’s a good thing I was walking last night, out in the open air. You know, not around people. These things give me horrendous, particularly noxious gas almost immediately, and for about 45 minutes. Three quarters of an hour of almost straight frappage, and then aftershocks about 5 hours later. It sounded like there was a truck detour near our house last night, if you know catch my drift.**
Anyway, when you open up the wrapper, you are greeted with what looks like a strip of asphalt. No, seriously. It looks like they carved a strip of parking lot and shoved it in a wrapper. This is something that I suppose someone, somewhere thought had visual appeal. I’d love to have been in that pitch meeting:
Guy #1: “It looks like the strips of road they take out to make the Rumble Strip on the side of the Parkway!”
Guy #2: “Well, this is the nicest they could make it. Be glad, the previously four batches looked mostly like scabs and burn victims…”
That’s the only way I see these getting past anyone. Regardless, they look a little funny, but so does most health food.
Anyway, the bars are pretty good tasting. Caveat: I didn’t much care for it the first time. It was OK, but dry. The second time was the apparent charm. They are sweet and chewy, and they will fill you up for a while.
In conclusion, they do deliver the fiber, they don’t make me go any more than I usually do or don’t, but they do give me acrid gas.
The bars are tasty and filling.
I’ll totally buy them again.
Why not visit www.gnufoods.com and see what else they may have in store?
In unrelated news I went on a spontaneous run around my apartment complex last night. Completely unexpected, but it went pretty good despite petering out about ¾ through to a walk and then another run after a minute or so. Uphill is still tough!
* Yeah, I’m gonna talk about poop and farting, so hang onto your hats.
** You don’t really want to catch my drift, if you catch my drift.
So, here’s my first post-Biggest Loser Wednesday column. So what am I gonna talk about?
How about food?
That’s right, I’m going to focus on food I have tried in my quest to achieve “Sporty” status.
Today’s product-
GNU FOODS “Flavor and Fiber” bars.
So, the missus picked up a pack of these at Whole Foods the other day. 1 bar contains 6 whole grains, and 12 grams of fiber, roughly the equivalent of fifty four sheets of loose-leaf paper. Actually, it’s nearly 50% of your recommended daily fiber.
Yeah, you read that right. In one 1.6 oz bar you get a preposterous amount of fiber. Fiber is good for you. It’s good for your heart. It fills you up so it helps you lose weight, and it keeps you regular.
I find it funny that a product designed to make the process of pooping easier has a motto of “Join the Movement.” I mean, if I were 12 and asked to make up a product, I probably would have made a laxative and used that slogan. It’s adorably cheeky!
We got Chocolate Brownie flavor. You probably want to know a few things:
1) Does it work?
2) How much does it work?
3) How does it taste?
All very valid questions!
Well, to answer questions 1 and 2 I’d have to say I am not 100% sure if they are making me any more regular or not. I mean, I have only had 2, and I’m not a guy who’s “not regular,” you know? Now, your mileage may vary, but let’s just say it’s a good thing I was walking last night, out in the open air. You know, not around people. These things give me horrendous, particularly noxious gas almost immediately, and for about 45 minutes. Three quarters of an hour of almost straight frappage, and then aftershocks about 5 hours later. It sounded like there was a truck detour near our house last night, if you know catch my drift.**
Anyway, when you open up the wrapper, you are greeted with what looks like a strip of asphalt. No, seriously. It looks like they carved a strip of parking lot and shoved it in a wrapper. This is something that I suppose someone, somewhere thought had visual appeal. I’d love to have been in that pitch meeting:
Guy #1: “It looks like the strips of road they take out to make the Rumble Strip on the side of the Parkway!”
Guy #2: “Well, this is the nicest they could make it. Be glad, the previously four batches looked mostly like scabs and burn victims…”
That’s the only way I see these getting past anyone. Regardless, they look a little funny, but so does most health food.
Anyway, the bars are pretty good tasting. Caveat: I didn’t much care for it the first time. It was OK, but dry. The second time was the apparent charm. They are sweet and chewy, and they will fill you up for a while.
In conclusion, they do deliver the fiber, they don’t make me go any more than I usually do or don’t, but they do give me acrid gas.
The bars are tasty and filling.
I’ll totally buy them again.
Why not visit www.gnufoods.com and see what else they may have in store?
In unrelated news I went on a spontaneous run around my apartment complex last night. Completely unexpected, but it went pretty good despite petering out about ¾ through to a walk and then another run after a minute or so. Uphill is still tough!
* Yeah, I’m gonna talk about poop and farting, so hang onto your hats.
** You don’t really want to catch my drift, if you catch my drift.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Week 50- 238.8
Starting weight: 264.2
Weight last week: 241.9
Current weight: 238.8
Lost this week: 3.1
Total lost to date: 25.4
Goal for this week: 2 pounds
Goal Weight: 180
Weight remaining to lose: 58.8
I’m damn psyched about this. The two-thirties!
Thanks to my lovely assistant, my gout flare up was ended pretty quickly with some Tart Cherry capsules. This is powdered cherries, by the way, 1200mg two times a day. There’s no trace of gout in my foot at all today and I could barely walk Saturday night into Sunday.
Tart Cherry is also supposed to help arthritis, muscle pain, diabetes and to help you sleep better. They have tons of antioxidants as well. I never knew this. I look forward to seeing if this doesn’t help my F*cking Arthritis* pain.
I managed to walk some yesterday, but my foot was still a little sore and swollen. However, by the time say, 10pm rolled around I could see the actual knuckles of my big toe again. Usually, gout lasts for 3-4 days for me. This may have been one of the fastest flare-up recoveries ever.
Anyhow, I have hit the 25 pound mark. That’s pretty damned exciting. For the first time I thought the ol’ Pony Keg looked closer to a Party Ball today. The Missus has been saying this for a couple of weeks actually, but I just didn’t see it. Today, yeah.
I am also in the two-thirties. It’s been a long time since I was in the two-thirties. Probably a good 5 years or so.
So I got rid of my 40 waist pants and shorts. Well, except for the new pair I got right before Mom’s memorial mass back in April. I’m not prepared to just throw out 20 bucks. I may just Ebay them. Maybe I can do a fundraiser, “The last pair of 40s I will ever buy!!!!!” Or maybe someone who needs them will snap ‘em up. I mean I only wore them like 5 times.
When I am severely tempted, I just think “New Pants, better then the Old Pants” and it helps. I mean, I still have a piece of chocolate or a treat from time to time, but I’m not doing what I used to do.
If I am tempted by something I think about it. “Do I really want to eat that?” and I give it a few minutes. If I decide that “yes I do, I really do want that whatever it might be” I have some. I don’t do it like I used to, where I would stuff myself silly. I am just mindful of what I am doing.
Yeah, it’s a lot harder than “Well, I don’t feel like cooking, I’ll just throw 10 chicken nuggets in the oven,” but you gotta do what you gotta do, right?
So, tomorrow will be the debut of Food Review Wednesdays! This is to take the place of my normal Biggest Loser wrap-ups and should continue until the show comes back on in the fall.
Weight last week: 241.9
Current weight: 238.8
Lost this week: 3.1
Total lost to date: 25.4
Goal for this week: 2 pounds
Goal Weight: 180
Weight remaining to lose: 58.8
I’m damn psyched about this. The two-thirties!
Thanks to my lovely assistant, my gout flare up was ended pretty quickly with some Tart Cherry capsules. This is powdered cherries, by the way, 1200mg two times a day. There’s no trace of gout in my foot at all today and I could barely walk Saturday night into Sunday.
Tart Cherry is also supposed to help arthritis, muscle pain, diabetes and to help you sleep better. They have tons of antioxidants as well. I never knew this. I look forward to seeing if this doesn’t help my F*cking Arthritis* pain.
I managed to walk some yesterday, but my foot was still a little sore and swollen. However, by the time say, 10pm rolled around I could see the actual knuckles of my big toe again. Usually, gout lasts for 3-4 days for me. This may have been one of the fastest flare-up recoveries ever.
Anyhow, I have hit the 25 pound mark. That’s pretty damned exciting. For the first time I thought the ol’ Pony Keg looked closer to a Party Ball today. The Missus has been saying this for a couple of weeks actually, but I just didn’t see it. Today, yeah.
I am also in the two-thirties. It’s been a long time since I was in the two-thirties. Probably a good 5 years or so.
So I got rid of my 40 waist pants and shorts. Well, except for the new pair I got right before Mom’s memorial mass back in April. I’m not prepared to just throw out 20 bucks. I may just Ebay them. Maybe I can do a fundraiser, “The last pair of 40s I will ever buy!!!!!” Or maybe someone who needs them will snap ‘em up. I mean I only wore them like 5 times.
When I am severely tempted, I just think “New Pants, better then the Old Pants” and it helps. I mean, I still have a piece of chocolate or a treat from time to time, but I’m not doing what I used to do.
If I am tempted by something I think about it. “Do I really want to eat that?” and I give it a few minutes. If I decide that “yes I do, I really do want that whatever it might be” I have some. I don’t do it like I used to, where I would stuff myself silly. I am just mindful of what I am doing.
Yeah, it’s a lot harder than “Well, I don’t feel like cooking, I’ll just throw 10 chicken nuggets in the oven,” but you gotta do what you gotta do, right?
So, tomorrow will be the debut of Food Review Wednesdays! This is to take the place of my normal Biggest Loser wrap-ups and should continue until the show comes back on in the fall.
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Pissed.
Yeah, so I'm having a lovely attack of Gout, and thus my exercise plan for today is scuttled. Damn it.
Too much turkey I think...
Too much turkey I think...
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Thursday's musings...
Sorry there was no post yesterday.
As usual, I find it very hard to dash off one of these things when I am home and doing stuff there. I realized that now that my little dude is in school, if I take a day off, I can actually get some stuff done between 8:30 and 1:30-ish.
I mean, I washed my car (which hadn’t been done in a dog’s age, honestly) and I did some throwing out of stuff from the garage, and generally enjoyed being able to move freely.
Speaking of which, sort of:
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,520946,00.html
Outrage After 750-Pound Deceased Woman Hauled to Coroner on Flatbed Truck
Family members and neighbors are outraged after seeing an obese woman who died Tuesday dragged from her home and hauled to the coroner’s office on the back of a flatbed truck, 6News' theindychannel.com reports.
The Marion County Coroner's Office in Indianapolis came under fire Wednesday after people learned of the way that Teresa Smith, 48, who weighed 750 pounds and died in her apartment, was transported to the office.
Officials said the deputy coroner made the decision to call a towing service to transport the body.
"We debated for quite a while about how we were going to get her out of there and so we finally decided, since we didn't have a van that was large enough to carry her, it was decided between (the police) department and the coroner's office to use (the truck)," Detective Marcus Kennedy told 6News.
Smith's body, while still on her mattress, was dragged across the courtyard of her apartment complex, strapped on the tow truck and covered with a piece of carpet. Her boyfriend, the couple's 13-year-old son, and some neighbors watched as the seen unfolded.
"I think they should have handled it differently, putting her on a flatbed like they did. That was like putting a cow up there," said Smith's boyfriend, David Johnson.
Neighbors said they were also disturbed by the ordeal.
"What really got me is when they took her off onto the flatbed, they threw this dirty, dirty carpet on top of her, and I just thought that was so disrespectful," said a neighbor, who did not want to be identified. "I would have never let them throw that on my loved one."
Once on the truck, Smith's body was escorted by police downtown to the coroner's office.
Former Chief Deputy Coroner John Linehan said he was shocked and dismayed that appropriate steps weren't taken to remove the woman from her home.
He said that fire and medical personnel have equipment available for handling patients up to 1,000 pounds and that moving obese individuals is not all that rare of an occurrence.
"When they scoop up dead dogs off of the street they don't treat them that way," he said. "It's just not the way to treat a human being."
Chief Deputy Coroner Alfarena Ballew told Rinehart by phone Wednesday that a flatbed truck has been used in other occasions to move obese individuals. She said the office is now looking for a way to transport Smith's body from the morgue to the funeral home.
The Indiana State Coroner's Association said it has no specific recommendations to handle extremely obese people. The decision is left up to each county.
Now, excuse me if I am being insensitive, but how can you really move a person weighing 750 pounds with any sort of dignity? I mean, if you have to get craned out of your house, alive or not, dignity has pretty much shit the bed at that point, no? I'm not trying to be flippant here, honestly. I mean, at that weight, can you even wash yourself or take care of bathroom things? I can’t see any dignity at 750 pounds.
I’m not saying it’s not a tragedy that this 13 year old kid lost his mom, that’s fucking awful. I am questioning how this could have been handled better.* I wonder how people can let themselves get to the point of 750 pounds. How can you feasably support the caloric intake to maintain that weight even?
* Other than the obvious answer of “not throwing a Goddamn dirty carpet on her” I mean. That's inexcusable and I'd slap the crap out of whoever did that.
As usual, I find it very hard to dash off one of these things when I am home and doing stuff there. I realized that now that my little dude is in school, if I take a day off, I can actually get some stuff done between 8:30 and 1:30-ish.
I mean, I washed my car (which hadn’t been done in a dog’s age, honestly) and I did some throwing out of stuff from the garage, and generally enjoyed being able to move freely.
Speaking of which, sort of:
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,520946,00.html
Outrage After 750-Pound Deceased Woman Hauled to Coroner on Flatbed Truck
Family members and neighbors are outraged after seeing an obese woman who died Tuesday dragged from her home and hauled to the coroner’s office on the back of a flatbed truck, 6News' theindychannel.com reports.
The Marion County Coroner's Office in Indianapolis came under fire Wednesday after people learned of the way that Teresa Smith, 48, who weighed 750 pounds and died in her apartment, was transported to the office.
Officials said the deputy coroner made the decision to call a towing service to transport the body.
"We debated for quite a while about how we were going to get her out of there and so we finally decided, since we didn't have a van that was large enough to carry her, it was decided between (the police) department and the coroner's office to use (the truck)," Detective Marcus Kennedy told 6News.
Smith's body, while still on her mattress, was dragged across the courtyard of her apartment complex, strapped on the tow truck and covered with a piece of carpet. Her boyfriend, the couple's 13-year-old son, and some neighbors watched as the seen unfolded.
"I think they should have handled it differently, putting her on a flatbed like they did. That was like putting a cow up there," said Smith's boyfriend, David Johnson.
Neighbors said they were also disturbed by the ordeal.
"What really got me is when they took her off onto the flatbed, they threw this dirty, dirty carpet on top of her, and I just thought that was so disrespectful," said a neighbor, who did not want to be identified. "I would have never let them throw that on my loved one."
Once on the truck, Smith's body was escorted by police downtown to the coroner's office.
Former Chief Deputy Coroner John Linehan said he was shocked and dismayed that appropriate steps weren't taken to remove the woman from her home.
He said that fire and medical personnel have equipment available for handling patients up to 1,000 pounds and that moving obese individuals is not all that rare of an occurrence.
"When they scoop up dead dogs off of the street they don't treat them that way," he said. "It's just not the way to treat a human being."
Chief Deputy Coroner Alfarena Ballew told Rinehart by phone Wednesday that a flatbed truck has been used in other occasions to move obese individuals. She said the office is now looking for a way to transport Smith's body from the morgue to the funeral home.
The Indiana State Coroner's Association said it has no specific recommendations to handle extremely obese people. The decision is left up to each county.
Now, excuse me if I am being insensitive, but how can you really move a person weighing 750 pounds with any sort of dignity? I mean, if you have to get craned out of your house, alive or not, dignity has pretty much shit the bed at that point, no? I'm not trying to be flippant here, honestly. I mean, at that weight, can you even wash yourself or take care of bathroom things? I can’t see any dignity at 750 pounds.
I’m not saying it’s not a tragedy that this 13 year old kid lost his mom, that’s fucking awful. I am questioning how this could have been handled better.* I wonder how people can let themselves get to the point of 750 pounds. How can you feasably support the caloric intake to maintain that weight even?
* Other than the obvious answer of “not throwing a Goddamn dirty carpet on her” I mean. That's inexcusable and I'd slap the crap out of whoever did that.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Week 49- 241.9
Starting weight: 264.2
Weight last week: 245.9
Current weight: 241.9
Lost this week: 4.0
Total lost to date: 22.3
Goal for this week: 2 pounds
Goal Weight: 180
Weight remaining to lose: 61.9
Boy Howdy, that’s a good number. I’ll tell you what; it’s nice to see something working. Eating better and exercising, who’da thunk it?
I’d be exercising a lot harder if my allergies weren’t kicking me squarely in the junk. I can’t seem to shake the vicious cough I have had since last Sunday. It really came to a head this weekend when I got ridiculously interrupted sleep. Last night I slept sitting up on the couch, and it helped, a lot. I actually woke up before my alarm and felt pretty good.
I took a walk to CVS last night to pick up a prescription and some cough drops, and had a wicked coughing fit. Seriously, I thought I was going to barf, right there in front of Today’s Neighborhood Drugstore.
My Lovely Assistant got me a homeopathic allergy remedy, as well as for the cough and they seem to be helping, but I am not 100% sure. I guess I’ll give it another day or so.
Weight last week: 245.9
Current weight: 241.9
Lost this week: 4.0
Total lost to date: 22.3
Goal for this week: 2 pounds
Goal Weight: 180
Weight remaining to lose: 61.9
Boy Howdy, that’s a good number. I’ll tell you what; it’s nice to see something working. Eating better and exercising, who’da thunk it?
I’d be exercising a lot harder if my allergies weren’t kicking me squarely in the junk. I can’t seem to shake the vicious cough I have had since last Sunday. It really came to a head this weekend when I got ridiculously interrupted sleep. Last night I slept sitting up on the couch, and it helped, a lot. I actually woke up before my alarm and felt pretty good.
I took a walk to CVS last night to pick up a prescription and some cough drops, and had a wicked coughing fit. Seriously, I thought I was going to barf, right there in front of Today’s Neighborhood Drugstore.
My Lovely Assistant got me a homeopathic allergy remedy, as well as for the cough and they seem to be helping, but I am not 100% sure. I guess I’ll give it another day or so.
Monday, May 18, 2009
Please allow me to introduce myself: I am the Mayor of NewPantsburgh!
THIRTY-EIGHTS*, BABY! WHOOOO!
Ahem. Yes. Indeed. I am now in a smaller waist size! Slid into a pier of smaller shorts on Saturday night for the Break Evens’ set at Buddie’s and I am not looking back!
I haven’t been in 38s for a couple of years at least. I feel pretty great!
This is milestone # 2. I consider the first 10 pounds to be the first milestone, and here’s the second!
It feels pretty good, and it’s a nice visual reminder. On a frame like mine you don’t see 18 pounds all that well, or at least I don’t. This is a wonderful reminder of what I can accomplish when I set my mind to something.
*thus making me as big around as I am old but hey, that's progress. I'll never be thirty six again, but I can be a thirty-six waist, right?
Ahem. Yes. Indeed. I am now in a smaller waist size! Slid into a pier of smaller shorts on Saturday night for the Break Evens’ set at Buddie’s and I am not looking back!
I haven’t been in 38s for a couple of years at least. I feel pretty great!
This is milestone # 2. I consider the first 10 pounds to be the first milestone, and here’s the second!
It feels pretty good, and it’s a nice visual reminder. On a frame like mine you don’t see 18 pounds all that well, or at least I don’t. This is a wonderful reminder of what I can accomplish when I set my mind to something.
*thus making me as big around as I am old but hey, that's progress. I'll never be thirty six again, but I can be a thirty-six waist, right?
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Why am I fat? I blame the Chinese!
Yes, you know damn well there’s a story behind that, right?
Well, I went out for a business lunch at the Chinese Buffet today and I have to say, I did pretty well. Fortunately this place has the Mongolian section where you can get good stuff grilled with minimal sauces and whatnot. Not to say I didn’t have any General Tso or whatever, but it certainly wasn’t anywhere near the level of food I would have had a couple of months ago, or especially some years ago when I first discovered the sinister magic of buffets*. I mean, in my own personal Battle of the Bulge, my army has taken quite a tramping from the wily and delicious General Tso and his delectable minions. Their territory has expanded greatly but I feel like today, just maybe, I have managed to fight and win one.
Ah, I remember back in my 20s when I discovered the Chinese Buffet. There was one by my work, which was right next to my favorite record store. If you do the math, this adds up to nothing but trouble**. I began to eat there a lot, for a few reasons:
1) The food was great.
2) It was like $5.25 for lunch for all the food you could pack into your gaping maw.
3) The lunch waitress was cuter than a footlocker full of kittens.
I figured, if I keep showing up for lunch, maybe I can get a date out of it. This was not the best thought out plan because, quite frankly, she spoke like, eleven words of English, tops. None of which, by the way, included the phrases “Gosh, you’re handsome!” or “Red-haired nerdy men get me all hot-and-bothered!” Nope, all I got out of our relationship was increasingly tighter pants.***
As a hungry man, it’s difficult to resist the siren’s song of the phrase “All You Can Eat.” I mean, especially when you are young and can really do some damage, the allure is you’re really getting your money’s worth. Shoot, look at it realistically, you literally can sit there for hours until you have stuffed every corner of your digestive system with grub. I have seen people attack the crab legs like they are trying to keep the good men of the Cornelia Marie employed personally. After a while though, it’s like being a thrill seeker. You need more variety and bigger buffets. You end up being the Evil Kenivil of Wonton Soup or something.
Anyhow, by the time the cute waitress left (and leave she did. What, you think we got married or something?) only to be replaced by three very thin young men with hilariously tall hair, I was hopelessly addicted to the food. And hey, they knew my drink order and you did get a lot of food for the money. I was their friend. If they ran out of something they knew I like, they told me and made sure I knew more was coming out. It’s funny and very sad all at the same time.
My personal high/low point:
I was at said record store with my now-wife and my buddy Gilbert. We decided to eat next door (hooray!) but when we opend up the door there was a line of people going all the way up the ramp to the front desk (boo!). So, my girl goes up to see how long the wait was and the guy asks how many and she says “three” and points at me and Gilbert. The host goes “You’re with him?” and points at me. She nods.
The guys waves us up, and we bypass the whole freakin’ line to be seated.
My girl, half impressed, half mortified, turns to me and says, “Yeah, I think it’s safe to say you eat here too much.”
Aaaaand that’s a real good place to leave this I think.
Well, see you tomorrow kiddies!
* Sweet Jiminy Cricket could I pack it in back then! In my 20’s I consumed an ungodly amount of food at buffets. I mean, in college it was not unheard of to bang out a 12 pack of White Castles round about midnight, along with fries and a drink (maybe even a shake!). Then, it was a race to beat the clock. Those of you who have eaten 12 Castles fries, and a shake post Midnight know what clock I’m talking about.
** Right here in River City, with a capital T that rhymes with P and that stands for Porky.
*** not in that way you filth-mongers. I was getting fat!
Well, I went out for a business lunch at the Chinese Buffet today and I have to say, I did pretty well. Fortunately this place has the Mongolian section where you can get good stuff grilled with minimal sauces and whatnot. Not to say I didn’t have any General Tso or whatever, but it certainly wasn’t anywhere near the level of food I would have had a couple of months ago, or especially some years ago when I first discovered the sinister magic of buffets*. I mean, in my own personal Battle of the Bulge, my army has taken quite a tramping from the wily and delicious General Tso and his delectable minions. Their territory has expanded greatly but I feel like today, just maybe, I have managed to fight and win one.
Ah, I remember back in my 20s when I discovered the Chinese Buffet. There was one by my work, which was right next to my favorite record store. If you do the math, this adds up to nothing but trouble**. I began to eat there a lot, for a few reasons:
1) The food was great.
2) It was like $5.25 for lunch for all the food you could pack into your gaping maw.
3) The lunch waitress was cuter than a footlocker full of kittens.
I figured, if I keep showing up for lunch, maybe I can get a date out of it. This was not the best thought out plan because, quite frankly, she spoke like, eleven words of English, tops. None of which, by the way, included the phrases “Gosh, you’re handsome!” or “Red-haired nerdy men get me all hot-and-bothered!” Nope, all I got out of our relationship was increasingly tighter pants.***
As a hungry man, it’s difficult to resist the siren’s song of the phrase “All You Can Eat.” I mean, especially when you are young and can really do some damage, the allure is you’re really getting your money’s worth. Shoot, look at it realistically, you literally can sit there for hours until you have stuffed every corner of your digestive system with grub. I have seen people attack the crab legs like they are trying to keep the good men of the Cornelia Marie employed personally. After a while though, it’s like being a thrill seeker. You need more variety and bigger buffets. You end up being the Evil Kenivil of Wonton Soup or something.
Anyhow, by the time the cute waitress left (and leave she did. What, you think we got married or something?) only to be replaced by three very thin young men with hilariously tall hair, I was hopelessly addicted to the food. And hey, they knew my drink order and you did get a lot of food for the money. I was their friend. If they ran out of something they knew I like, they told me and made sure I knew more was coming out. It’s funny and very sad all at the same time.
My personal high/low point:
I was at said record store with my now-wife and my buddy Gilbert. We decided to eat next door (hooray!) but when we opend up the door there was a line of people going all the way up the ramp to the front desk (boo!). So, my girl goes up to see how long the wait was and the guy asks how many and she says “three” and points at me and Gilbert. The host goes “You’re with him?” and points at me. She nods.
The guys waves us up, and we bypass the whole freakin’ line to be seated.
My girl, half impressed, half mortified, turns to me and says, “Yeah, I think it’s safe to say you eat here too much.”
Aaaaand that’s a real good place to leave this I think.
Well, see you tomorrow kiddies!
* Sweet Jiminy Cricket could I pack it in back then! In my 20’s I consumed an ungodly amount of food at buffets. I mean, in college it was not unheard of to bang out a 12 pack of White Castles round about midnight, along with fries and a drink (maybe even a shake!). Then, it was a race to beat the clock. Those of you who have eaten 12 Castles fries, and a shake post Midnight know what clock I’m talking about.
** Right here in River City, with a capital T that rhymes with P and that stands for Porky.
*** not in that way you filth-mongers. I was getting fat!
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Hey, check it out!
Two thousand page views!
Thanks to everyone who reads and especially to those who keep coming back!
Thanks to everyone who reads and especially to those who keep coming back!
Jer-ry! Jer-ry! Jer-ry! Jer-ry! Old guys rule!
Yeah. You probably heard that Helen took the top honors last night, looking a little too thin.* Mike came in second, and poor Tara came in last. They may not have won any money, but they did win LIFE. They took it back, and overcame a lot to do what they did and they both looked healthier than Helen did.
That sucked, and you could see the disappointment in her face. I think had she lost to Mike she’d have been OK with it. I know she’ll still be a success, but it must have been hard to lose to Helen.
I see a bunch of people online who were glad to see Tara “get knocked down a few pegs.” Why? Because she was a better competitor? Because she was “cocky?” Shoot, I’d be cocky as well if I started eating all the other players alive in every challenge. She did it fair and square to boot. It’s a sin nowadays to be proud of being good at something. In this whole “Everyone’s a winner” culture we have established, it seems you get a lot of guff for saying you can do something? She won, even when everyone else was acting against her. She’s like Rocky or the Bad News Bears or something!
Now, on the other hand, everyone who lost to Jerry, the 60+ guy who exercised for 1 hour before collapsing and being sent to the hospital in episode 1 should be as gobsmacked as they looked. The man was sent home and lost 177 pounds! 55 percent of his body weight or thereabouts lost. Flat out amazing. You think you can’t do it? Bullshit.
The fact that this was three hours long and then only to get cut off for news at the end was infuriating! I may not have liked Helen but I’d have liked to hear what she had to say. Also maybe The Other two as well. It was too dragged out and had more flashbacks than Timothy Leary’s retirement party.
Also, the bit with America voting on which girl should be on next season? Complete bollocks. I don’t care about that, I’ll meet everyone in September. How about interviews with the successes on the show? Too much, NBC, too much!
If anything else needs to be slimmed down, it’s this show. Make it less contestants, make it an hour a week, and give us three seasons maybe! Or show us the Aussie on in the summer. For heaven’s sake, I don’t want another season like this!
My notes:
*I wish Kristin lived by me because she’d be awesome to hang out with I bet!
*Dan’s partner David just is not ready to do it. I wish him luck in the future and maybe Dan can inspire him.
*Again, three hours was too damned long!
*Aubrey looked good, but she’s still struggling, and so is Shanon. Good luck to you both!
*Joelle, please hush up. You lost some weight but you are still crazier than a sack of weasels
*Ron has lost a hell of a lot of weight, but is still very wide. I mean, he’s a big burly dude, but it’s an odd dynamic, because it looks as if he’s becoming like Pancake Man** or something.
*Dan’s quote of hope where he said “People think ‘Oh if I lose a hundred pounds I’m still obese’ may be true. But then you can lose another hundred, and then fifty more if you got ‘em. The important thing is to never give up hope.” I knew I liked that kid.
*My goodness, Mike looks like an athelete!
*Holy Crap on a stick! Jerry looks bloody amazing!!!!!! WHOA! He’s an inspiration for sure.
You know what I would like? Maybe a mini 8 or 10 episode “Max’s Story” type thing. Have him trained by Bob for 8 weeks, do some challenges and if he completes them, or does them in a certain time, a charity would benefit, and he’d get a matching amount. Just an idea…
Also, a reunion show would be fun. Make it about all the past winners if you like. I think we’d like to see some people from the past and how they are doing.
* That said, so help me, I thought her caboose looked pretty darn good in that dress. I mean she looked pretty gaunt otherwise, but hey...
** That’s be me as a super hero. I would feed the crooks a lot of pancakes and they’d just pass out. My sidekicks could be Tryptophan Girl and Lethargic Lad! Beware evildoers!
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Week 48- 245.9
Starting weight: 264.2
Weight last week: 248.6
Current weight: 245.9
Lost this week: 2.7
Total lost to date: 18.3*
Goal for this week: 2 pounds
Goal Weight: 180
Weight remaining to lose: 65.9
* this math has been really off lately. Sorry! I’m gonna try and fix these entries when I have the time, but don’t hold your breath.
Coming up on the one year mark and I feel like if I bear down some more I can really make a decent number in 4 more weeks, (HOLY CRAP! Only four weeks until the one year landmark of the Sporty By Forty Initiative!). If I continue at the pace I am going, I should clear 25 pounds by then. That’s not where I wanted to be, but I still could get to my halfway point goal of about 40 pounds by my birthday if I stay the course, and really get moving.
I walked to the Laundromat* to put the clothes that were in the washers into the dryers last night. It’s not terribly far, but it’s a decent hike. If you saw some asshat walking towards the Matawan train station playing air drums, yeah that was me.
Two days in a row I have eaten breakfast very late, due to my son going to school for the first time! Hooray! Today I realized at like 11 that I was very hungry and suddenly remembered that it was because I have had nothing since about 10 last night! And that was a 1 point peanut butter thing from Weight Watchers that the missus told me to try. By the way, it was pretty good.
No wonder I was so hungry!
Anyway, there may not be a huge discussion of The Biggest Loser tonight, because it’s going to be THREE FREAKIN’ HOURS LONG tonight!
OK, NBC, we get it, it’s your cash cow, but come the hell on! You already stretch a 1 hour show to 2. This is annoying as all get out.
* Spell Check insists Laundromat be spelled with a capital “L.” I guess clean clothes are important.
Weight last week: 248.6
Current weight: 245.9
Lost this week: 2.7
Total lost to date: 18.3*
Goal for this week: 2 pounds
Goal Weight: 180
Weight remaining to lose: 65.9
* this math has been really off lately. Sorry! I’m gonna try and fix these entries when I have the time, but don’t hold your breath.
Coming up on the one year mark and I feel like if I bear down some more I can really make a decent number in 4 more weeks, (HOLY CRAP! Only four weeks until the one year landmark of the Sporty By Forty Initiative!). If I continue at the pace I am going, I should clear 25 pounds by then. That’s not where I wanted to be, but I still could get to my halfway point goal of about 40 pounds by my birthday if I stay the course, and really get moving.
I walked to the Laundromat* to put the clothes that were in the washers into the dryers last night. It’s not terribly far, but it’s a decent hike. If you saw some asshat walking towards the Matawan train station playing air drums, yeah that was me.
Two days in a row I have eaten breakfast very late, due to my son going to school for the first time! Hooray! Today I realized at like 11 that I was very hungry and suddenly remembered that it was because I have had nothing since about 10 last night! And that was a 1 point peanut butter thing from Weight Watchers that the missus told me to try. By the way, it was pretty good.
No wonder I was so hungry!
Anyway, there may not be a huge discussion of The Biggest Loser tonight, because it’s going to be THREE FREAKIN’ HOURS LONG tonight!
OK, NBC, we get it, it’s your cash cow, but come the hell on! You already stretch a 1 hour show to 2. This is annoying as all get out.
* Spell Check insists Laundromat be spelled with a capital “L.” I guess clean clothes are important.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Happy Mother's Day
Lookee where we went today:
It's Deep Cut Gardens, in Monmouth County. It was such a nice day we had a wonderful family walk!
I'll go back and take more pics at some point, after which, I'll replace this one which is from the Parks Department website...
It's Deep Cut Gardens, in Monmouth County. It was such a nice day we had a wonderful family walk!
I'll go back and take more pics at some point, after which, I'll replace this one which is from the Parks Department website...
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Shoulda Taken Pictures!
…of the kick-ass sammich I made last night.
1- Weight Watchers whole wheat roll- 2 points
1- Purdue baked chicken patty- 4 points
2- slices of Aldi Fit & Active turkey bacon- 2 points
Usually this would have lettuce, but we were out. I put a dab of Big Ed’s BBQ sauce on it. NUMMY!
In retrospect I remembered we have onions. DAMN. If there’s more chicken left, I may reconstruct this sammich tonight with more vegetable options.
1- Weight Watchers whole wheat roll- 2 points
1- Purdue baked chicken patty- 4 points
2- slices of Aldi Fit & Active turkey bacon- 2 points
Usually this would have lettuce, but we were out. I put a dab of Big Ed’s BBQ sauce on it. NUMMY!
In retrospect I remembered we have onions. DAMN. If there’s more chicken left, I may reconstruct this sammich tonight with more vegetable options.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
The agony of de-feet!
That's for two things today.
The first is for the agony of pouring cereal and realizing just before you pour the milk* that it is expired. I mean really expired. Date-wise I was only 2 days out. Smell-wise on the other hand, I was in the bad part of Stinktown.
I was really looking forward to it too. Ah well. I made do with a whole grain bagel and yogurt.
The second thing this applies to is The Biggest Loser. Oh yeah, for the final challenge, they had to complete a marathon! 26.2 miles kids, and that’s something. I think I walked that much in one day all of once, on a walking tour of Annapolis, MD when I was in Boy Scouts.
First, however, the contestants go home for thirty days. Here’s what annoyed me.
The contestants say they are tired, or hungry or whatever, but we never saw that they did to combat these conditions. What are they eating? What are they buying at the grocery store? How have they adjusted their lives to maintain this weight loss?
Also, I think Tara needs new friends. Seriously.
I was great to see Bob and Jillian visit the contestants and both of them laid a work out ass whupping on Max. He pretty much took to Bob more than Jillian, but hey, whoever will help.
I was touched when Jillian made Mike realize he was projecting himself and his feeling towards Fat Mike** onto his brother.
So, the marathon. Whoever finished was to get $10,000 to give to whatever charity they wanted. Tara had the best score, with just under six hours, which is damned impressive. Helen, a mere hour or so after that! Than came the Brown team
Mike had a hip injury and was told he could not run. So he and Ron began to walk. Mike still walked faster then Ron who was using a cane.
Mike finished and then there was the long wait for Ron.
Ron’s knees began to give out at about Mile 5. He pressed onwards. He got shaky and dehydrated at Mike 15 or so, and it looked like he was going to have to go to the hospital, but damn skippy, if that sonnavagun didn’t get up and start going again.
Slowly more people joined him. They had individually joined the others but were now teaming up to bring the Big Man in. Heba, Bernie, Michelle, Allie, and that dude who has the pointy face who I cant remember.***
Then Jillian, then Bob! Then Max, and Helen and Tara! It was a police-escorted entourage that was a sight to behold, and when he crossed that finish line and snapped the tape with his cane (YES! Say what you want about Ron, his tactics, or his commitment, but he did a marathon with a bloody cane!) and was greeted by Mike, I have to say I welled up a little.
THE WEIGH IN:
¾ of the contestants pulled 10 pound looses at home in 30 days. Helen managed 7, still respectable. Mike and Ron, however, fell below the yellow line.
I’m voting for Mike. Don’t let your dislike of Ron ruin it for Mike.
* I realize this is preferable to realizing it after you pour the milk. No doubt, Scout!
** I probably should have said “Old Mike.” I have no idea if he has a beef with the singer for NOFX.
*** Bill? I think it'd Bill!
The first is for the agony of pouring cereal and realizing just before you pour the milk* that it is expired. I mean really expired. Date-wise I was only 2 days out. Smell-wise on the other hand, I was in the bad part of Stinktown.
I was really looking forward to it too. Ah well. I made do with a whole grain bagel and yogurt.
The second thing this applies to is The Biggest Loser. Oh yeah, for the final challenge, they had to complete a marathon! 26.2 miles kids, and that’s something. I think I walked that much in one day all of once, on a walking tour of Annapolis, MD when I was in Boy Scouts.
First, however, the contestants go home for thirty days. Here’s what annoyed me.
The contestants say they are tired, or hungry or whatever, but we never saw that they did to combat these conditions. What are they eating? What are they buying at the grocery store? How have they adjusted their lives to maintain this weight loss?
Also, I think Tara needs new friends. Seriously.
I was great to see Bob and Jillian visit the contestants and both of them laid a work out ass whupping on Max. He pretty much took to Bob more than Jillian, but hey, whoever will help.
I was touched when Jillian made Mike realize he was projecting himself and his feeling towards Fat Mike** onto his brother.
So, the marathon. Whoever finished was to get $10,000 to give to whatever charity they wanted. Tara had the best score, with just under six hours, which is damned impressive. Helen, a mere hour or so after that! Than came the Brown team
Mike had a hip injury and was told he could not run. So he and Ron began to walk. Mike still walked faster then Ron who was using a cane.
Mike finished and then there was the long wait for Ron.
Ron’s knees began to give out at about Mile 5. He pressed onwards. He got shaky and dehydrated at Mike 15 or so, and it looked like he was going to have to go to the hospital, but damn skippy, if that sonnavagun didn’t get up and start going again.
Slowly more people joined him. They had individually joined the others but were now teaming up to bring the Big Man in. Heba, Bernie, Michelle, Allie, and that dude who has the pointy face who I cant remember.***
Then Jillian, then Bob! Then Max, and Helen and Tara! It was a police-escorted entourage that was a sight to behold, and when he crossed that finish line and snapped the tape with his cane (YES! Say what you want about Ron, his tactics, or his commitment, but he did a marathon with a bloody cane!) and was greeted by Mike, I have to say I welled up a little.
THE WEIGH IN:
¾ of the contestants pulled 10 pound looses at home in 30 days. Helen managed 7, still respectable. Mike and Ron, however, fell below the yellow line.
I’m voting for Mike. Don’t let your dislike of Ron ruin it for Mike.
* I realize this is preferable to realizing it after you pour the milk. No doubt, Scout!
** I probably should have said “Old Mike.” I have no idea if he has a beef with the singer for NOFX.
*** Bill? I think it'd Bill!
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Week 47- 248.6! Going doooooown!
Starting weight: 264.2
Weight last week: 252.9
Current weight: 248.6
Lost this week: 3.8
Total lost to date: 11.3
Goal for this week: 2 pounds
Goal Weight: 180
Weight remaining to lose: 68.6
OK, not a bad week at all, really, I almost doubled my goal and didn't have too many significant cravings for the truly awful. This may have to do withthe 2 slices of cake on Sunday, but hey, that's what those reserve points are for, right?
Here’s some other cool things that go along with losing the weight this week:
*So long, 250, you fat bastard! I hope to never see you again, unless it’s on a check being paid to me. Preferably followed by a load of zeros, but het, two hundred fifty is two hundred fifty, you know?
* I get to go down a point in my Weight Watchers! Wooo! This means I eat less! Wait a minute...Nah, this is good!
* I am almost in new pants!!!!!
I’m pretty happy about it, really.
Well, I hope I'll see you tomorrow for my second to last Biggest Loser update!
For now i will leave you with this: Here’s a picture of a strawberry I had yesterday, that looked like a rooster.
He was yummy.
Weight last week: 252.9
Current weight: 248.6
Lost this week: 3.8
Total lost to date: 11.3
Goal for this week: 2 pounds
Goal Weight: 180
Weight remaining to lose: 68.6
OK, not a bad week at all, really, I almost doubled my goal and didn't have too many significant cravings for the truly awful. This may have to do withthe 2 slices of cake on Sunday, but hey, that's what those reserve points are for, right?
Here’s some other cool things that go along with losing the weight this week:
*So long, 250, you fat bastard! I hope to never see you again, unless it’s on a check being paid to me. Preferably followed by a load of zeros, but het, two hundred fifty is two hundred fifty, you know?
* I get to go down a point in my Weight Watchers! Wooo! This means I eat less! Wait a minute...Nah, this is good!
* I am almost in new pants!!!!!
I’m pretty happy about it, really.
Well, I hope I'll see you tomorrow for my second to last Biggest Loser update!
For now i will leave you with this: Here’s a picture of a strawberry I had yesterday, that looked like a rooster.
He was yummy.
Monday, May 4, 2009
Slow down you eat too fast! You've got to make that sandwich last...
That should be sung to the tune of “Feelin’ Groovy*” by Simon and Garfunkel. Go ahead, try it. It fits great!
Man I hated that song when I worked at Marburn Curtains back in the late 80s and early 90s. I had just broken up with my girlfriend and they used to play LiteFM in the store. Love Songs, nothing but Love Songs! Nothing but soul-crushing, mind-wrenching, tear your heart out of your chest, set it on fire and stomp all over the ashes until you want to die in the dumpster out in back of the store covered in irregular pillow shams, Love Songs.
That and “Feelin’ Groovy.” They played abut three hours worth of music, over and over and over and…well you get the idea, right? So after you get reminded that you are alone and no one loves you by Phil Collins belting out “Against All Odds” (and you’re there, by yourself, singing along in the pillow section
**) Paul and Art come on and tell you about how Groovy they felt and all I wanted to do was beat the ever-loving stuffing out of the both of them.
Uh, as it is, I like the song a lot now. Times and tastes change. At the time I was pretty much Metal and Hardcore all the way. I have much better pop sensibilities nowadays.
Anyway, back to the issue at hand which is, as you might expect, food. Now, like any other wild animal I tend to eat like a savage, wolfing down my food as quickly as possible. I have no idea why, mind you, I just do it.
I have learned that it helps to be mindful of what I’m eating.
I don’t mean you have to take like an hour to eat your lunch, but chew your food. Your mom always said (or at least my grandma always said) you should chew your food twenty times before swallowing. Now, you and I both know that for certain foods, that becomes an impossibility. However, if you slowly eat what you’re eating and really concentrate on the food, you’ll find you:
*Get full more quickly and
*You’ll probably enjoy your food a heck of a lot more.
As far as I’m concerned, this is win/win. It works too. I know, the slower I eat, the fuller I get and I seem to stay fuller longer. It’s partly psychological, for sure.
It’s also good to not be doing anything else to distract you while you eat. That can be tough nowadays when people eat lunch while working and other meals reading the news or watching TV or whatever, but it does help.
THANK GOODNESS FOR THOSE EXTRA POINTS Department:
It was my niece’s Communion party yesterday and I did pretty good. Nice green salad, not a lot of the very tasty garlic bread, Tilapia for my entrée, and then came the cake. It was delish! Two slices of chocalte with icing and raspberry filling.
So I got home and checked the points and sure enough, 24 for the both. I went into those 35 extra points you get a week and I went into them hard, kids! Ah well, that’s what they are there for, you know?
So I come into work today and whets in the kitchen? More chocolate cake. I resisted. I went tin to heat up my lunch and what was there but an additional chocolate cake. Man oh Manaschewitz, the Gods of Flab dost test me today from upon high on their thrones of cookies, inside sugary castles near rivers of chocolate.
I am going to be like the Gandalf of food and state
YOU
SHALL
NOT
PASS!
But they sure looked good!
Lastly, I was wondering why my pants felt much looser today, and whattyaknow, I missed two loops putting on my belt! You'd think I was getting dressed in a hurry or something***
* AKA “The 59th Street Bridge Song.”
** Kids today think they know how to be “Emo.” Pshaw! We did it better and didn’t have to wear eyeliner and bondage pants to do it.
*** which I was not, you gutter minded so-and-sos...
Friday, May 1, 2009
Ok, I think I know what I'm a-gonna do!
Once Biggest Loser ends, I was wondering what the hell I was going to do on Wednesdays with the old blogerroo here. Well, I think I have it worked out. I’m not going to let it on too much but I will say this: It should be helpful to those of us trying to get healthy and lose weight, especially those on Weight Watchers.
My friend Filomena has an enjoyable blog. It’s here . It’s a nice breezy read, so you should read it. Preferably outside on the patio with a Cherry Limeade. If she asks, tell her I sent you, but behave and for the love of Pete, keep your feet off the furniture, you uncultured clods!
Oh, and speaking of limes, I have recently switched from having lemon in my tea to having lime. It’s really quite good, and a nice change from lemon all the time. Give it a try! The only drawback is you will never get it in those little packets that they have, like for lemons.
Well, kiddies, have a good weekend. My niece is making her communion Sunday, so I am saving a few points for that.
My friend Filomena has an enjoyable blog. It’s here . It’s a nice breezy read, so you should read it. Preferably outside on the patio with a Cherry Limeade. If she asks, tell her I sent you, but behave and for the love of Pete, keep your feet off the furniture, you uncultured clods!
Oh, and speaking of limes, I have recently switched from having lemon in my tea to having lime. It’s really quite good, and a nice change from lemon all the time. Give it a try! The only drawback is you will never get it in those little packets that they have, like for lemons.
Well, kiddies, have a good weekend. My niece is making her communion Sunday, so I am saving a few points for that.
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