Join the Movement!

Please note: This entry contains frank and honest discussion of some mature content.*

So, here’s my first post-Biggest Loser Wednesday column. So what am I gonna talk about?

How about food?

That’s right, I’m going to focus on food I have tried in my quest to achieve “Sporty” status.

Today’s product-

GNU FOODS “Flavor and Fiber” bars.


So, the missus picked up a pack of these at Whole Foods the other day. 1 bar contains 6 whole grains, and 12 grams of fiber, roughly the equivalent of fifty four sheets of loose-leaf paper. Actually, it’s nearly 50% of your recommended daily fiber.

Yeah, you read that right. In one 1.6 oz bar you get a preposterous amount of fiber. Fiber is good for you. It’s good for your heart. It fills you up so it helps you lose weight, and it keeps you regular.

I find it funny that a product designed to make the process of pooping easier has a motto of “Join the Movement.” I mean, if I were 12 and asked to make up a product, I probably would have made a laxative and used that slogan. It’s adorably cheeky!

We got Chocolate Brownie flavor. You probably want to know a few things:

1) Does it work?
2) How much does it work?
3) How does it taste?

All very valid questions!

Well, to answer questions 1 and 2 I’d have to say I am not 100% sure if they are making me any more regular or not. I mean, I have only had 2, and I’m not a guy who’s “not regular,” you know? Now, your mileage may vary, but let’s just say it’s a good thing I was walking last night, out in the open air. You know, not around people. These things give me horrendous, particularly noxious gas almost immediately, and for about 45 minutes. Three quarters of an hour of almost straight frappage, and then aftershocks about 5 hours later. It sounded like there was a truck detour near our house last night, if you know catch my drift.**



Anyway, when you open up the wrapper, you are greeted with what looks like a strip of asphalt. No, seriously. It looks like they carved a strip of parking lot and shoved it in a wrapper. This is something that I suppose someone, somewhere thought had visual appeal. I’d love to have been in that pitch meeting:

Guy #1: “It looks like the strips of road they take out to make the Rumble Strip on the side of the Parkway!”

Guy #2: “Well, this is the nicest they could make it. Be glad, the previously four batches looked mostly like scabs and burn victims…”

That’s the only way I see these getting past anyone. Regardless, they look a little funny, but so does most health food.

Anyway, the bars are pretty good tasting. Caveat: I didn’t much care for it the first time. It was OK, but dry. The second time was the apparent charm. They are sweet and chewy, and they will fill you up for a while.

In conclusion, they do deliver the fiber, they don’t make me go any more than I usually do or don’t, but they do give me acrid gas.

The bars are tasty and filling.

I’ll totally buy them again.


Why not visit www.gnufoods.com and see what else they may have in store?

In unrelated news I went on a spontaneous run around my apartment complex last night. Completely unexpected, but it went pretty good despite petering out about ¾ through to a walk and then another run after a minute or so. Uphill is still tough!


* Yeah, I’m gonna talk about poop and farting, so hang onto your hats.
** You don’t really want to catch my drift, if you catch my drift.