Slow down you eat too fast! You've got to make that sandwich last...

That should be sung to the tune of “Feelin’ Groovy*” by Simon and Garfunkel. Go ahead, try it. It fits great!

Man I hated that song when I worked at Marburn Curtains back in the late 80s and early 90s. I had just broken up with my girlfriend and they used to play LiteFM in the store. Love Songs, nothing but Love Songs! Nothing but soul-crushing, mind-wrenching, tear your heart out of your chest, set it on fire and stomp all over the ashes until you want to die in the dumpster out in back of the store covered in irregular pillow shams, Love Songs.

That and “Feelin’ Groovy.” They played abut three hours worth of music, over and over and over and…well you get the idea, right? So after you get reminded that you are alone and no one loves you by Phil Collins belting out “Against All Odds” (and you’re there, by yourself, singing along in the pillow section
**) Paul and Art come on and tell you about how Groovy they felt and all I wanted to do was beat the ever-loving stuffing out of the both of them.

Uh, as it is, I like the song a lot now. Times and tastes change. At the time I was pretty much Metal and Hardcore all the way. I have much better pop sensibilities nowadays.

Anyway, back to the issue at hand which is, as you might expect, food. Now, like any other wild animal I tend to eat like a savage, wolfing down my food as quickly as possible. I have no idea why, mind you, I just do it.

I have learned that it helps to be mindful of what I’m eating.

I don’t mean you have to take like an hour to eat your lunch, but chew your food. Your mom always said (or at least my grandma always said) you should chew your food twenty times before swallowing. Now, you and I both know that for certain foods, that becomes an impossibility. However, if you slowly eat what you’re eating and really concentrate on the food, you’ll find you:

*Get full more quickly and
*You’ll probably enjoy your food a heck of a lot more.

As far as I’m concerned, this is win/win. It works too. I know, the slower I eat, the fuller I get and I seem to stay fuller longer. It’s partly psychological, for sure.

It’s also good to not be doing anything else to distract you while you eat. That can be tough nowadays when people eat lunch while working and other meals reading the news or watching TV or whatever, but it does help.

THANK GOODNESS FOR THOSE EXTRA POINTS Department:

It was my niece’s Communion party yesterday and I did pretty good. Nice green salad, not a lot of the very tasty garlic bread, Tilapia for my entrée, and then came the cake. It was delish! Two slices of chocalte with icing and raspberry filling.

So I got home and checked the points and sure enough, 24 for the both. I went into those 35 extra points you get a week and I went into them hard, kids! Ah well, that’s what they are there for, you know?

So I come into work today and whets in the kitchen? More chocolate cake. I resisted. I went tin to heat up my lunch and what was there but an additional chocolate cake. Man oh Manaschewitz, the Gods of Flab dost test me today from upon high on their thrones of cookies, inside sugary castles near rivers of chocolate.

I am going to be like the Gandalf of food and state

YOU
SHALL
NOT
PASS!

But they sure looked good!

Lastly, I was wondering why my pants felt much looser today, and whattyaknow, I missed two loops putting on my belt! You'd think I was getting dressed in a hurry or something***







* AKA “The 59th Street Bridge Song.”

** Kids today think they know how to be “Emo.” Pshaw! We did it better and didn’t have to wear eyeliner and bondage pants to do it.

*** which I was not, you gutter minded so-and-sos...