From the "You'd think it would be common sense" department

Don’t chew gum while you’re getting a haircut.

Seems obvious, yes? I mean, I already learned the “don’t wear a white shirt and get a haircut” lesson. Well, it wasn’t to me I guess and I had a pretty awful piece of gum by the end of my haircut. I went full out and had him trim the eyebrows and goatee as well.* What the hell, it’s a payweek, right?

It’s amazing what a haircut will do for you mood! I was a mopey, mopey hippo today before my haircut, but now: not so much!

Man I am craving Chinese food like crazy today. I won’t have it, I see a turkey dog in my future, but man alive, some days it’s just brutal, isn’t it? I can beat the cravings if I go without something for a while. Fast food, sweets, whatever. I no longer think about ice cream. I can go whole days without even the thought of a cookie popping into my bean. Even the smells of favorite foods will not get to me, if I am properly disposed. Not so, Chinese Food. It sets off something almost primal in my head and my body just harangues me until I give in. I have to learn to live with the nagging of my stomach. I gave in a little too often recently, and I fell off the wagon/pedicab.

When I was walking through the mall today I got whiff of the place in the food court (any two meat selections plus fried rice or noodles, 4.99! Woo!) and I had to steel myself to walk past it. How ridiculous is this? I ought to be on celebrity rehab, except I am not famous and I’d probably be better off on Fit Club, so Harvey Walden could yell at me. However, you need to be famous on that show too.

I suppose it should make me somewhat happy that I am too thin to be picked for the Biggest Loser at least. I have days where you see some guy who’s lost like 100 pounds (which is more than I want to lose) and they are just at where I am now. I was going to say, I can’t imagine being fatter than I am now, but that’s a lie. I totally can imagine it and that is one of the things that scares me.

I recently discovered I weigh more than Chris Farley did when he did Tommy Boy. Having recently seen Tommy Boy I can’t see how he’s less than 254 pounds, but they claim he was about 225. Perhaps he was short, I don’t know. All I know is, wow, did I feel positively gargantuan after I read that.

Anyway, back to the grind…


*my eyebrows are becoming increasingly more ridiculous, the older I get. Seriously, what the frick? I fear I may turn into a gnome, like Larry Hagman.


Seriously! Is he part Vulcan!?!?! Wow!