Feeling Tso-Tso or Exactly how am I still walking around?

I was discussing food I miss and still crave to this day with Gilbert the other day. Most fast food, not so much.

French Fries-

I eat French Fries every once in a while these days and I really don't crave them. In fact, most of the time I don't enjoy them anymore.
FAT FACT: I have eaten a lot of fries in my day. Like, for me, the movie title "My Own Private Idaho" refers to how many taters had to die to be sent down my gaping maw. There were many a day from college and beyond where I'd have fries twice in one day, sure.

White Castles-

Man, I love me some White Castle hamburgers. I only think of them really when I see the frozen ones. Even then my brain goes "well you know they are not as good as the real ones..." and my belly goes "yup" and off we go, safe again. ...but for how long?!?!?!?!
FAT FACT(s):
1) The first time I had the castle I was 11 years old, and was visiting my Grandma in Edison NJ. I put down 10 of them. TEN OF THEM!
2) My uncle Jim and I want to The Castle at 10AM once because there were none in Florida at the time and he was up for a visit.
3) I have, while 100% sober and not hungover, eaten White Castle before 10 AM
4) In college, any less than 12 was a snack.


Cookies (specifically chocolate chip cookies)
FAT FACT: I used to eat an entire sleeve of Chips Ahoy! in one sitting. Every. Goddamn. Day.

For years.

Seriously, I used to just sit down after school and bang out a sleeve while I was watching Star Blazers or reading a comic book. Jesus, if I could go back and change something I'd tell 11 year old me "listen, knock this shit off now, or things are gonna be really bad for you in your thirties!"

I know me, though and, as I was convinced that the world was going to end in 2000 when I was 11, what the hell would it matter?*

Again, how exactly am I still walking around? I'm 90% sure I was still drinking whole milk at this point as well. When I cut myself it should be like brie.

Bagels-
oddly enough, I don't miss them very much at all, and I used to eat them ALL THE FREAKIN' TIME!

Chinese Food-

Now, I'll tell my story one day of how I got introduced to and summarily addicted to the heroin-like charms of Chinese Food.

As it stands now, I fight the eternal battle with General Tso. Tso and I have met on the culinary battlefield numerous times. Sometimes he wins and I am sent to the infirmary, sometimes I win and he is destroyed. However, he's winning the war. I get slower and fatter and he remains tasty and inviting.

Damn you, Tso!

FAT FACT:
I have eaten an inordinate amount of this, but the General Tso's at the Dragon Palace in Newtown PA is absolutely awful.



* when I was about 12 I saw a documentary on Nostrodamus claiming World War Three would start in 1986. "Well, that settles it," I thought, "I'm totally going to die a virgin!"