back to business!
As I was saying,
I love bacon. There, I said it. I'm not ashamed! I love bacon almost with an indecent fervor, normally reserved by men for sports teams, beer and a large chest. Now, I can take or leave sports, I love a nice pint now and again, and well, you know…
Anyway, I was making myself a turkey bacon (while not “true” bacon, it’s still pretty damned good!) sandwich the other day and saw the nutritional info on the back of the package. I was like “WOW! This is insanely good!” I though like almost a quarter of what I was expecting. I was excited, actually. Then I looked at the serving size: One Piece.
One Piece?!?!? One piece?
Come on, seriously? One piece of bacon? That’s like, damned near impossible. It’s a buffet with one item, it’s a beauty contest with one entrant. Fellow bacon lovers: Have you ever eaten only one piece of bacon, ever? Are you even capable of eating one piece? I mean, OK, if there was only one piece available, sure. Maybe the person you’re dining with asks “do you want this last piece of bacon, I am too full to consume it’s deliciousness after unwisely filling up on…well, anything else, really…?” then yeah, you might eat one piece.
I guess what I’m saying here can be summarized in the following bullet points:
- I love Bacon
- Bacon is Nummy(tm)
- I cannot eat a small portion of bacon once I start eating any bacon whatsoever
- In retrospect, my transformation into a colossal fat ass should not have been as much of a surprise as it was to me.
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1 comment:
Hey Rich - KO Rob from the BMMB here! I wanted to comment on a past post, the "Transitional Pants" one, but I also wanted to make sure you got it, so I figured I'd reply to your most recent post... anyways... As a man of, ahem, considerable girth (who's also starting a weight loss program in '09), I have to take issue with your surprise at the existence of size 55 waist pants. Particularly with your admission at being one of those "below the gutters"! :) That's cheating! It's not your waist size if you're wearing them a foot below your navel! Sure you've got the smaller waist, but your inseam is mysteriously shrinking! I could fit into my high school waist size if I wore them down around my knees and claimed a 19-inch inseam! ***Please note that this past comment was made almost completely in psuedo-jest, and I'm completely and utterly pulling for ya buddy! Even with my GIGANTIC waist size (which is below 55, for the record).
P.S. - and on topic, I'm more of a breakfast sausage guy myself (admittedly, it's TURKEY sausage for me as well.. poor turkeys are really taking it on the chin in weight loss circles, aren't they?)... bacon is a distant third to sausage and Taylor Ham (also known as pork roll in some circles).
P.S.S. - and finally, an unsolicited workout time and method suggestion (in regards to your problems getting to the gym in the early AM)... have you checked out the pool at your local YMCA? That's what I'm currently doing, and the adult swim times usually run from 8 to 10 pm, so you could sneak off two or three times a week AFTER the little one was sacked out for the evening. It might cut into you and your special lady friend's alone time, but 2 night's a week shouldn't be a deal breaker (you could argue that not losing the weight would REALLY cut into your alone time...)
That's it, I promise... Good Luck dude!
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