Transitional Pants

I’ve been milking two pair of jeans for along while, until I can get into the plethora of brandy new size 38 jeans hanging in my closet. So, I have two pair or Wrangler jeans and have recently discovered, much to my chagrin, they are just not cutting it anymore. Let me tell you why:

Pair 1: The “bad pair” or the “weekenders.” The Weekenders have a hole in the right knee so big that makes me look like I should be plying second guitar in Nirvana. One of the belt loops has come off and there are now holes developing in the other knee and over the pockets. They are very nearly visibly disintegrating while I wear them*. Oh, the right front pocket has a hole in it too boot making it useless for holding change or anything but much more convenient for any emergency “adjustments” that I might need to make during the course of my day, so there’s that.. So, you win some, you lose some, right?

Pair 2: The “good pair.” Now I’m using the term “good pair” really loosely here. There’s a really small stain, and now I appear to be wearing through the left knee. There's a worn spot about the size of a quarter. You know your pants are in bad shape when you go to scratch your knee and come away with denim fibers under your nails.


So, I said to my wife, “it appears I am in need of a pair of Bridge Pants.” You know, a cheap pair to tide me over until the Epoch of the 38” Waist begins. So, with The Boy in tow I made the trek to the local Wally World and went on a Trouser Safari** in search of a new pair of pants.

I found exactly 1 pair of jeans in my size (40x30, which isn’t really my size, but try and find 40x29 pants. Like a needle in a stack of other needles!). Wrangler, of course. What annoys me is there are plenty of 38x30, and 44x30 all the way up to, 55x30! Wow.

You know, as fat as I feel, that’s pretty brutal. Although if I actually wore my pants around my belly, I bet I’d be up there for sure.

What’s really annoying is Walmart has their own brand of jeans and they are only 8 bucks***! Alas, no 40x30…


BLOOD TEST RESULTS!

Oh, I forgot! I don’t have the actual numbers anymore (they were thrown out by accident) but the overall Cholesterol was close to normal. My Triglycerides are a goddamn nightmare right now, so I’m adding yet another pill to my arsenal. I also need to raise my good cholesterol numbers. However, I’ve had worse numbers for sure.





* Sorry for that mental image, everyone.
** Well…that sounds just awful doesn’t it? Sheesh. I'm two for two today!
*** Oh, I'm sorry! Did you forget I am cheap???