So, what weighs 40 pounds?

So, yesterday I discovered that over the last two years I have managed to undo all the good I did in the previous two years and crammed forty fricking pounds down my gullet and onto my frame again.
Things that weigh 40 pounds:

• a 15-foot canoe!
• My kid!
• 8 bags of sugar!
• an average human leg!
• a Soft Coated Wheaten Terrier!
• four of my dog!
• five gallons of water! (actually a little closer to fifty pounds, but for this exercise we'll go with it)
• and finally, this giant freaking cat!

Yeah, how about that?
For all intents and purposes I have that furry SOB sitting under my shirt right now! Metaphorically speaking, of course. O mean, OK, if I actually had him there all I would be doing is whipping my shirt up so girls would see that furry tub of Fancy Feast and go "Awwwww!" and...where was I going with this?*

*not to the gym, obviously, amirite?