So, anyone still following this blog (thank you both!) is probably wondering “What in the hell happened to Rich?”

Lots, let me tell you!

In January, the impetus for getting my sorry and now considerably larger self back in shape was truly forming. One fine morning I split my pants at the post office. OK, specifically I was getting into my car not like, reaching for a book of stamps or anything. Regardless, believe me when I say I completely destroyed my pants. Like split them from the belt line, all along the seam, right to the crotch.

Yes, I basically bisected a pair of pants.

Now, in my defense, they were FadedGlory jeans from WalMart, which are basically the equivalent of pants made from denim Kleenex*, but the fact remains that I basically had a pair of DIY chaps on my hands. Erm, well, you know what I’m getting at, surely…

oh, you don't? Take a gander at this:

Ladies?  How YOU doin?

Yep, that'd be a cel pic I set to the missus. You'll note the pink and tender buttock meat right there indicating another crucial element to this story. That being: I chose this day to go commando.

Now, normally this wouldn't be too bad.  I mean, who's gonna know?  Well, anyone who had eyes actually. All i had to do was put on a fresh pair but I wasn't home! Oh, no, that would be too easy. I was at the supermarket and had two other errands to run, but hey, sometimes you have to go back to go forward, you know?

So I run back home and check the area and it seems all clear. So, I exit my vehicle, start walking towards the house, and I hear it...The SCAT bus! Yeah, a bus load of senior citizens get a glimpse of my pale and splotchy bottom  You're welcome, Silver Foxes.
.

Next installment- Rich "mans up", toughs it out and ends up in the hospital!

* Could you imagine a big box where pants pop up like tissue?  That'd be awesome.