Wait a second! It's still 2008!

Your trivia fact for the day:

There’s actually a “Leap Second” applied to 2008*, so if you can make that New Years Smooch(tm) last a tad longer, do it to it! I don’t really know exactly why they add in a Leap Second. It’s got something to do with Atomic clocks and Solar Time and maybe I’m tired but it’s not sinking in at all. I think it’s how Dick Clark extends his possibly science-fueled/possibly demonic reign of near-immortality. Lets face it, the man is only hanging on until we can build him a suitable robot body anyway.

The question for the day is: am I actually going to make it until midnight (plus one second)?

Well, let’s kick 2008 to the curb and hope 2009 isn’t as much as a punch in the sack as this last year was**


Tomorrow- 100th post! Holy crap!





*seriously! Look it up! Ok, fine, I’ll do it for you: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leap_second
**And I do not mean getting hit while in bed.

Week 29: 256.0 Correction: not 100th post! wooo!

Starting weight: 264.2
Weight last week: 258.8
Current weight: 256.0
Lost this week: 2.8 pounds
Total lost to date: 8.2
Goal for this week: 2 pounds

Goal Weight: 180

Weight remaining to lose: 78.4



Look at that. The hit counter goes up, the weight starts to come down. It’s a nice combo! I wish it was directly connected because I could click my way to smaller pants.

I hope your Christmas was better than ours. There was sickness and disappointment of not seeing family. It kinda sucked, kids, but what can you do but plow resolutely forward? Ever onwards, eh?

So, another Christmas come and gone and we got a new Doctor Who special, which was pretty great. It’s going to be sad to see David Tennant go, but what can you do? The show has been about change from the first time Ian and Barbara followed that girl into the phone box in Trotter’s Lane so many years ago.

We also got a new Wallace and Gromit special entitled A Matter of Loaf and Death which was charming, funny and a blast, as per usual!*

It occurs to me that this is supposed to be a fitness/weight loss blog, right? So far all I talked about was Christmas and BBC programming. I should tie this into fitness somehow. OK. Erm…lemme think… Oh all right:

Here’s Rich’s Food Tip #1-

If you order take out, don’t eat it out of the container it came home in. If you’re like me, your brain kicks into “Mortal Kombat” mode** and you eat it all up, yum. The problem with that is, generally, a restaurant portion is way bigger than it needs to be. You’re eating two, maybe three meals there. If it’s something good, you can have it again! So, slap it on a plate and you’ll be good to go.

Some of you may be thinking “Well, duh, that’s pretty much common knowledge, dum-dum” but you’d be surprised how well it works.

Stay Tuned for MORE future Food Tips, coming soon!***

OK, I’m going to try and post tomorrow, and then on Friday because I ought to be home and doing stuff anyway.






*for those of you wondering, I do not live in the UK. I watched these via the magic of the interweb!

** Where you look into the container and all you hear is “Finish him!” I realize this joke will only be funny to a very small segment of readers and I am OK with that.

*** Now, you and I both realize I’m gonna forget about the Food Tip thing for at least three months, right? OK, just so we’re clear.

Merry Christmas, Everybody (with aplogies to Slade)

who would have said "Happy Christmas."

Hope the day was great, whatever you celebrate.

Week 28: 258.8

Starting weight: 264.2
Weight last week: 261.8
Current weight: 258.8
Lost this week: 3 pounds
Total lost to date: 5.4
Goal for this week: 2 pounds

Goal Weight: 180

Weight remaining to lose: 81.2

Not that I recommend how I did it, mind you. I was home sick yesterday, throwing my guts up. Ugh. I’m much better today despite looking like hell because I broke all the blood vessels in my face from throwing up so hard. Today, I am a remarkable shade of puce. Someone asked me if I had gone tanning. Many people asked me if I was OK, but our receptionist Beth knew what was up.

2008 is looking to end with a bang, or at least a sickening squishy sound…Sick, then The Gout, then this…

Ah well. What can you do, right? At least the chances of more random plates of nibblies coming up in the office isn’t high.

Oh, I went to visit my friend at the Flea Market today, and rubbed my eye and came away with blood. Apparently I scratched the side of my nose, but initially I said “Oh, what’s this? Now I’m bleeding from my eye?!?!?! Fantastic!” I mean let’s face it, it would stand to reason, but my friend was like “No, you’re cool! You scratched your face is all!”

Yeah, I had a minor panic.

Oh, and I want Five Guys* so bad today...




*It's a burger resturaunt, you gutter-brained jackass!

Beyond a reasonable gout...

You’re reading that right. I am having a gout attack and I’m just dying. I feel like I have a foot full of broken glass. If you’ve never had gout (or as many people call it “The Gout” and let me tell you, it hurts enough to have capital letters) be thankful. It’s the second worst pain I have ever felt in my life, and might just tie for first.

Tomorrow’s appointment with Ann is gonna really suck.

Week 27- Part Deux: 261.8

Starting weight: 264.2
Weight last week: 256.1
Current weight: 261.8
Lost this week: I should really change this heading…UP AGAIN. This time 5.7 pounds!
Total lost to date: 2.4
Goal for this week: Not to give up this entire venue and just eat an entire f**king bakery.

Goal Weight: 180

Weight remaining to lose: 84.2 What the hell am I doing!?!?!


Yeah. That’s right. Almost 6 pounds. I am within spitting distance of my heaviest weight, again. I’m so close to going to a buffet today for lunch and eating until I explode like the guy in Monty Python’s Meaning of Life.

Instead, I will go have a banana, and get back on the horse.

Sorry, Trigger. We’re a little heavier this week.

Giddyup.




Oh, and congrats to Michelle, who won the Biggest Loser last night. And a big “ha-ha” to that troll-headed jerk, Vicky, who lost by ONE POUND to come in third. Not that she would have won the whole thing, but you came in last of the three! That’s Karma, baby. You connived you way to the finale and fell on your giant head.

I am somewhat annoyed that Heba took home the 100K second prize (because she’s kind of a jerk), but she did earn it, and looked great, so I have to hand it to her.

Week 27: Guess what, you dope? It's Tuesday!

I had yesterday off for some personal stuff, and honestly thought today was Monday. So I get to work today and someone said “Looking forward to today’s update!” and I though, “well, bollocks! It’s Tuesday isn’t it? Damn, blast and double-damn!”

My bad eating has been just awful lately and I know I am going to pay the piper on Friday when I go in for a blood test. Ann (My N.P.) is going to beat me senseless*, I’m sure. She’s amazing with guilt. Really she weaves a tapestry of it, making me feel like an even bigger schmendrick than I feel like already for eating like a moron.

I’m starting to think I need a 12-step program to combat my addiction to Food I Know Full Well is Going to Kill Me Eventually But Seem to Keep Eating Anyway, Because I am a Complete Asshat. Perhaps there's a 12-step asshat recovery program.

I will likely Weigh In tomorrow. Hooray!

Tune in then to see if I have gone from Fat Guy to Colossal Fat Guy!


*I mean, not for real. She's a very nice woman, my Nurse Practitioner is, and I don't think I am in a Quentin Tarantino movie so the chances of her busting out some preying mantis-style Kung Fu on me are probably pretty limited.