Sorry for
the lack of updates. Here’s the news
right now:
1) I got laid off
2) Sleep apnea is no better
3) Going for sleep study soon
4) May have new job in sight or…
5) I may be going back to school!
I’ll get
into those in more detail but I wanted to get something going first.
So yeah,
this begins my official Old Man Conroy Quit Eating Like an Asshole
Challenge. So, in case it’s not obvious,
my goal is to quit eating like a complete asshole. It’s tough, I’ve been doing it for so long. It's comfortable, like sweatpants.
You may ask
me, ”Rich, how do I know I’m eating like an asshole?”
To quote my friend
Jasmine, “Oh, you know…” and she’s right.
When you go eat something crappy when you have something good at
home. When you eat that FIFTH PLATE at
the buffet. When one or more of those
plates consisted of ONLY BACON.
You get the
idea.
I have done
the above and more. I could do some
serious damage at a buffet.
One of my
big problems is I am an emotional eater.
Anything that sets me off sends me down a rabbit-hole of cookies, junk
food or grease. On really awesome days
it does ALL THEREE!
Still today
I am a bad day away from eating McDonald’s, a tiff with the wife away from
eating at White Castle, a sleepless night away from another battle with General
Tso’s insidious yet delicious forces!
I’ve almost
always had weight troubles.
In grammar
school I was always kinda pudgy, but frequently after getting my ass summarily
handed to me in my near daily after-school beating from a group of boys in my
class (and the next year up to boot!*) I’d go home, plop in front of the TV and
eat an entire sleeve of Chips Ahoy! cookies.
I was never very athletic and since gym class meant competing against
the same group of altar boy Neanderthals that were ambushing me on a day to day
basis I sure didn’t like that much either.
High School
wasn’t much better. I stayed out of
physical fights, but a lot of the jocks picked on the nerds and I was, believe it or
not, a colossal nerd. So, I of course
rebelled against sports. Why try to join
what the people who hate you are doing?
I mean you don’t like me? We’ll you and your team can all get fucked for
all I care.**
Wow, had I
known then I was rebelling against health, I might have done it differently.
I remained
about 140 pounds throughout college, so I wasn’t so much “fat as I was “doughy**.” I had 32 inch jeans until I got out in the
workforce, where I sat behind a desk.
This is why
I weigh, about 260 pounds now. The only
reason I have a 38 inch waist now is I wear them under the big ol’ gut.
So there we
go. Let’s get up and get on it. Maybe if I can get the eating thing right, I
can start sleeping better, and then I can exercise.
I’m getting
too old for this shit.
NEXT POST-
Living the tired life with Sleep Apnea!
*Ah,
Catholic School. Where my folks paid
good money to have me worked over every day like I owed money to the mob!
** Boy, I sure showed them!
*** I know,
ladies but please, have some composure.
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