Wait a second! It's still 2008!

Your trivia fact for the day:

There’s actually a “Leap Second” applied to 2008*, so if you can make that New Years Smooch(tm) last a tad longer, do it to it! I don’t really know exactly why they add in a Leap Second. It’s got something to do with Atomic clocks and Solar Time and maybe I’m tired but it’s not sinking in at all. I think it’s how Dick Clark extends his possibly science-fueled/possibly demonic reign of near-immortality. Lets face it, the man is only hanging on until we can build him a suitable robot body anyway.

The question for the day is: am I actually going to make it until midnight (plus one second)?

Well, let’s kick 2008 to the curb and hope 2009 isn’t as much as a punch in the sack as this last year was**


Tomorrow- 100th post! Holy crap!





*seriously! Look it up! Ok, fine, I’ll do it for you: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leap_second
**And I do not mean getting hit while in bed.

Week 29: 256.0 Correction: not 100th post! wooo!

Starting weight: 264.2
Weight last week: 258.8
Current weight: 256.0
Lost this week: 2.8 pounds
Total lost to date: 8.2
Goal for this week: 2 pounds

Goal Weight: 180

Weight remaining to lose: 78.4



Look at that. The hit counter goes up, the weight starts to come down. It’s a nice combo! I wish it was directly connected because I could click my way to smaller pants.

I hope your Christmas was better than ours. There was sickness and disappointment of not seeing family. It kinda sucked, kids, but what can you do but plow resolutely forward? Ever onwards, eh?

So, another Christmas come and gone and we got a new Doctor Who special, which was pretty great. It’s going to be sad to see David Tennant go, but what can you do? The show has been about change from the first time Ian and Barbara followed that girl into the phone box in Trotter’s Lane so many years ago.

We also got a new Wallace and Gromit special entitled A Matter of Loaf and Death which was charming, funny and a blast, as per usual!*

It occurs to me that this is supposed to be a fitness/weight loss blog, right? So far all I talked about was Christmas and BBC programming. I should tie this into fitness somehow. OK. Erm…lemme think… Oh all right:

Here’s Rich’s Food Tip #1-

If you order take out, don’t eat it out of the container it came home in. If you’re like me, your brain kicks into “Mortal Kombat” mode** and you eat it all up, yum. The problem with that is, generally, a restaurant portion is way bigger than it needs to be. You’re eating two, maybe three meals there. If it’s something good, you can have it again! So, slap it on a plate and you’ll be good to go.

Some of you may be thinking “Well, duh, that’s pretty much common knowledge, dum-dum” but you’d be surprised how well it works.

Stay Tuned for MORE future Food Tips, coming soon!***

OK, I’m going to try and post tomorrow, and then on Friday because I ought to be home and doing stuff anyway.






*for those of you wondering, I do not live in the UK. I watched these via the magic of the interweb!

** Where you look into the container and all you hear is “Finish him!” I realize this joke will only be funny to a very small segment of readers and I am OK with that.

*** Now, you and I both realize I’m gonna forget about the Food Tip thing for at least three months, right? OK, just so we’re clear.

Merry Christmas, Everybody (with aplogies to Slade)

who would have said "Happy Christmas."

Hope the day was great, whatever you celebrate.

Week 28: 258.8

Starting weight: 264.2
Weight last week: 261.8
Current weight: 258.8
Lost this week: 3 pounds
Total lost to date: 5.4
Goal for this week: 2 pounds

Goal Weight: 180

Weight remaining to lose: 81.2

Not that I recommend how I did it, mind you. I was home sick yesterday, throwing my guts up. Ugh. I’m much better today despite looking like hell because I broke all the blood vessels in my face from throwing up so hard. Today, I am a remarkable shade of puce. Someone asked me if I had gone tanning. Many people asked me if I was OK, but our receptionist Beth knew what was up.

2008 is looking to end with a bang, or at least a sickening squishy sound…Sick, then The Gout, then this…

Ah well. What can you do, right? At least the chances of more random plates of nibblies coming up in the office isn’t high.

Oh, I went to visit my friend at the Flea Market today, and rubbed my eye and came away with blood. Apparently I scratched the side of my nose, but initially I said “Oh, what’s this? Now I’m bleeding from my eye?!?!?! Fantastic!” I mean let’s face it, it would stand to reason, but my friend was like “No, you’re cool! You scratched your face is all!”

Yeah, I had a minor panic.

Oh, and I want Five Guys* so bad today...




*It's a burger resturaunt, you gutter-brained jackass!

Beyond a reasonable gout...

You’re reading that right. I am having a gout attack and I’m just dying. I feel like I have a foot full of broken glass. If you’ve never had gout (or as many people call it “The Gout” and let me tell you, it hurts enough to have capital letters) be thankful. It’s the second worst pain I have ever felt in my life, and might just tie for first.

Tomorrow’s appointment with Ann is gonna really suck.

Week 27- Part Deux: 261.8

Starting weight: 264.2
Weight last week: 256.1
Current weight: 261.8
Lost this week: I should really change this heading…UP AGAIN. This time 5.7 pounds!
Total lost to date: 2.4
Goal for this week: Not to give up this entire venue and just eat an entire f**king bakery.

Goal Weight: 180

Weight remaining to lose: 84.2 What the hell am I doing!?!?!


Yeah. That’s right. Almost 6 pounds. I am within spitting distance of my heaviest weight, again. I’m so close to going to a buffet today for lunch and eating until I explode like the guy in Monty Python’s Meaning of Life.

Instead, I will go have a banana, and get back on the horse.

Sorry, Trigger. We’re a little heavier this week.

Giddyup.




Oh, and congrats to Michelle, who won the Biggest Loser last night. And a big “ha-ha” to that troll-headed jerk, Vicky, who lost by ONE POUND to come in third. Not that she would have won the whole thing, but you came in last of the three! That’s Karma, baby. You connived you way to the finale and fell on your giant head.

I am somewhat annoyed that Heba took home the 100K second prize (because she’s kind of a jerk), but she did earn it, and looked great, so I have to hand it to her.

Week 27: Guess what, you dope? It's Tuesday!

I had yesterday off for some personal stuff, and honestly thought today was Monday. So I get to work today and someone said “Looking forward to today’s update!” and I though, “well, bollocks! It’s Tuesday isn’t it? Damn, blast and double-damn!”

My bad eating has been just awful lately and I know I am going to pay the piper on Friday when I go in for a blood test. Ann (My N.P.) is going to beat me senseless*, I’m sure. She’s amazing with guilt. Really she weaves a tapestry of it, making me feel like an even bigger schmendrick than I feel like already for eating like a moron.

I’m starting to think I need a 12-step program to combat my addiction to Food I Know Full Well is Going to Kill Me Eventually But Seem to Keep Eating Anyway, Because I am a Complete Asshat. Perhaps there's a 12-step asshat recovery program.

I will likely Weigh In tomorrow. Hooray!

Tune in then to see if I have gone from Fat Guy to Colossal Fat Guy!


*I mean, not for real. She's a very nice woman, my Nurse Practitioner is, and I don't think I am in a Quentin Tarantino movie so the chances of her busting out some preying mantis-style Kung Fu on me are probably pretty limited.

Well, lookee there!

We broke the One Thousand Page Views barrier!

So far I’ve had one comment, from my cousin, about dollar store soda.

That’s ok, though. Baby steps, baby steps.

So, I made my usual $1 store stop for tissues and assorted sundries yesterday and purchased the debut album by the Captain and Tenille. Yes, 1975’s Love Will Keep Us Together available digitally remastered (and with new liner notes by Toni Tenille! Ooooo!) for a buck. I figured I really like that song, and if I had downloaded it from say, iTunes or whatever, I’d pay the buck for 1 track, so I might as well get the CD and that way I’d get them doing “God Only knows” by the Beach Boys as well, so I bit the bullet. They look like they have the entire catalog there at Dollar Tree, so if you’re into Captain and Tenille, have at it!

Hump Day musings

First order of business:

My friend Janet is not, I repeat, not a nag.*

So, I blogged here recently about my new Facebook account. It’s pretty bizarre, especially since I have now been in contact with people from High School, Grammar school and my FIRST grammar school to boot. Some of these people I haven’t seen since like, oh I dunno, 1978 or something insane like that. It’s so weird. Some of them look the same, only older. Some of them look the same, just taller. Some of them are entirely new people.** In pictures of us in 2nd grade we all look like we should be living in Williamsburg, 2008. Fashionistas!

Once a week I treat myself to a soda. Normally I have a Coke Zero. If the dollar store is out of that I get a diet Dr. Pepper. They were all warm today so I grabbed a Diet Pepsi. Now, I don’t know if I got a bum bottle or what, but it was like drinking robot tinkle. No, I don’t actually know what robot tinkle tastes like, but I was trying to figure out what sort of whiz that might convey the ugly, semi metallic tang that my bottle of soda had to it. Urgh.

So, the last auctions of 2008 are going up today. They will close next Monday, so if you win, pay promptly and choose Priority mail and you should have stuff for Christmas!







*she’s a pushy so-and-so, but certainly not a nag! :)
** the “new people” generally fall into the “strapping shaved head” variety.

Week 26: 256.1

Starting weight: 264.2
Weight last week: 253.5
Current weight: 256.1
Lost this week: UP! 2.6!
Total lost to date: 8.1! And back I go over the 10 pound hump the other way!
Goal for this week: 3 pounds. Also, to bloody well keep it off!

Goal Weight: 180

Weight remaining to lose: 75.1

I’m mad as hell at my number this week. I thought about lying about it, I really did. I could say “Oh, look, I maintained, and I’ll lose more next week” or some such load of crap. I didn’t though because it wouldn’t be fair. It wouldn’t be fair to me, or the people who read this, whoever they are. Oh, that brings me to something else.

We’re going to break 1,000 page views, probably today. I find that exciting, because I wonder how many people are actually reading this. No one ever leaves any comments, and I’m not fishing for any. Back in the day (2000 or so) you could put a guestbook on your website, and people would sign it! Of course, back in 2000, very few people I knew had cable modems, there was no MySpace, and any knucklehead with a halfway ridiculous idea and a dopey name (anyone remember kozmo.com or flooz.com? Yeah…) could get eleventy billion dollars in venture capital. We were all so innocent.

I also weighed like 220 pounds or so.

So I need to make sure I have the fatass-wayback machine (ooo! I can call it the Weighback Machine!) pointed in the right direction again. I could swear I was going to lose today, but what can you do? Back on the elliptical!

Re: The lack of updates

AKA: All right, already, Janet, I get the point.

Sorry, kids!

The usual updates will resume shortly.

Penny Pinching (Poorly)

Yeah, so I went to Subway for lunch yesterday, and I was feeling pretty crummy, as previously reported. After my 6” turkey sammich, however I was feeling like a million bucks*! I wondered why that was, but I guess it was just what my body was wanting at the time. Mind you, at one point it was lobbying pretty hard for something awful before that, so I won out.

In the shower this morning I thought I should make it obvious that I did not buy the $5 Footlong, so that I didn’t seem like a glutton, eating a 12” sandwich in one sitting. In retrospect I totally should have bought the infernal thing because it’s like fifty cents for a full additional sammich! I could have saved it for dinner. The frugal cheap bastard part of me should have realized that! I need to keep that in mind for next time. I mean, I’m not in Subway all that often but when I am, it’d pay to get the deal and have food for later. In these tough economic times, you gotta save where you can.

I went to Blockbuster right after (mainly because it’s next door, and I’d be far more tempted to spend bigger bucks at the comic book store across the street) because I know they are having a clearance sale. I went looking for 1 thing. That being Harry Potter ad the Order of the Phoenix but it was $10 used or 4/$20. Mind you, I could easily drop twenty clams there and get four films, but I’m trying to save and not buy anything that I don’t actually need. I’ve been driving around with a cassette adapter with a wonky wire for like 6 months now. I purchased a cheap one at Five Below and it was like lighting up a Lincoln. A total waste of cash in other words, the music sounded like it was underwater!

I listen to a lot of music (mainly instrumental stuff or old time radio stuff if I have the Boy in the car. He loves Herb Alpert, and the soundtrack for Miyazaki’s Kiki’s Delivery Service!) in the car so this has been a real PITA. Now that the weather is colder, the wire is stiffer and it drops out more. This isn’t as annoying listening to say, The New Adventures of Nero Wolfe or my umpteenth run through one of the Harry Potter books, but when you’re cranking something really great and it cuts out because you made a left turn, maybe it’s time to open up the wallet. I found a new one (same model I have) for under ten bucks shipped on Ebay, so I’ll just get a new one.

I told you I’m a cheap bastard.

Oh, and in the “Ever since I became a father I can be made to cry at the drop of a hat” department: There’s this commercial for St. Jude’s hospital on TV where they show all these kids with cancer. Now normally I see this and feel pretty bad but I remain composed. Then they cut to this little bald girl running down a hallway being followed by someone with what looked like a blood transfusion bag attached to her and I lost it completely. That little girl looked so happy and unaware of her sickness, and I thought of my own kid, and I lost it.

Damn sappy commercials.

OK, In continued Biggest Loser news; how in the world is that complete asshat Vicky still on? She’s such a conniving beast, I can hardly stand it. Another thing, at this late stage of the game, why the hell are people still playing teams? It doesn’t make any sense. I hope Michele takes it, because, she’s young and plucky, and the remaining three contestants are bullies and assholes, honestly. Heba’s a pushy whiner, Ed’s just a bully and Vicky…Words cannot express how much I cannot stand her.

Ugh.

Well, two weeks until the finale!

*after taxes, but still...

Week 25: 253.5

Starting weight: 264.2
Weight last week: 256.9
Current weight: 253.5
Lost this week: 3.4
Total lost to date: 10.7! Back over the 1st hump!
Goal for this week: 2 pounds (i'd love to say 3.5 so I could get below 250!)

Goal Weight: 180

Weight remaining to lose: 73.5

OK, first off, The Lad is OK, and he’s back in action like nobody’s business. We got home at about 5:20 or so and he immediately went to play with some toys and my wife and I nipped that in the bud and the two of them slept. I finally passed out at 6:30 and got up at 9. I did get a good night’s sleep last night though.

Anyway, lookee there, 3.4 pounds down. Not having those Turkey Day leftovers really makes a difference!

Not much else to say other than boy, I am still whipped today. That first day back after a long cold is always a doozy.

I also suddenly have no voice now. Lovely!

Yeah...

The ER blows.