Today's score:Our Hero-0, General Tso-1

Yeah, happy birthday to me, yesterday. I pigged out on the General Tso’s combo platter (with Pork fried rice and Wonton soup) and it was so very, very good.

About an hour later, I was not as the old joke says, “hungry again.” No, I was sleepy. And I stayed up to see what my auctions would close at, which was a bad idea as well.

Today I am draggin’ ass in a spectacular fashion. Now I remember why I don’t have Chinese food for dinner anymore. Amazingly, I am not spectacularly bloated or anything today, go figure.

I should have weighed myself to see if the salt caused me to retain eleventy billion gallons of water.


Endnotes:
Oh I got the Don Rickels book yesterday, along with another one about a white collar guy who tries to live on minimum wage. They look good, I just have to finish my newest Terry Pratchett (Night Watch) and the book I got at the Dollar Tree (“King of King’s County” by Whitney Terrell).

I have learned I can only do 2 at a time nowadays.

The missus and I got a card recently from someone I had kind of given up hope on hearing from again. It’s funny, but I was going to call them because of that damned Christian the Lion video on YouTube where at the end it’s like “you should get in touch with someone you have lost touch with.” In other words, don’t be such a thickhead about it, ya dope. When I call, I’m going to ask if that’s why they decided to send the card. That’s the kind of serendipity I expect in situations like this.

Week 11: 254.1 or: Holding the line; at least it’s not 2 steps back…

Starting weight: 264.2
Weight last week: 254.1
Current weight: 254.1
Lost this week: 0 (but on the plus side, no “upsies” either)
Total lost: 10.1 pounds
Goal for this week: 2 pounds (I’m shooting more realistically)

Goal Weight: 180

Weight remaining to lose: 74.1


Yeah, minor delay in the weigh in, as noted yesterday due to me being a dork and forgetting what day of the week it was.

Der.

What are you gonna do, though, really?

Like I noted above, at least there’s no upswing in the tubbulence department. There’s a little to be said for holding steady (which I am sometimes thinking is: “Way to stay fat, fatso!”) and I’m planning a not healthy at all dinner tonight, as it is my birthday.

Yippee!

Really, I’m kind of “meh” about my birthday this time out. It does however, signal the true 2 year countdown. As of today I have a mere 730 days to accomplish my goal. Holy crap, that doesn’t seem that long does it? Quite frankly 40 (THE BIG FOUR-OH!) really isn’t that far off. Confidentially, it’s wigging me out, just a little. Thirty didn’t wig me out so much, maybe because I got married a week before I turned 30 and I didn’t have a lot of time to dwell on it. It could be that it legitimately didn’t bother me.

40, on the other hand, is a tougher nut to crack. Or maybe it’s 38 being a tough nut to crack. I’m talking nonsense I think. I think I may buy myself Ultraman The Next on DVD off EBAY today. Ultraman always make you smile!

Hey on the plus side I have already lost over 10% of my goal so that’s awesome.

Weigh-In: Postponed! or I am a colossal Jackass!

I am a dope and forgot it was Tuesday today. So what’s the big deal about that, you ask? Well, I woke up FAMISHED and thought, well, I’m up earlier than I thought, so I’ll have some breakfast. So I did. Before I weighed myself obviously…

So, we’ll do this again tomorrow?

Great! See you then!

Monday, Monday...

So a friend of mine, who shall remain nameless*, sort of read me the riot act the other day about having too many excuses in regards to my weight loss, or rather, general lack thereof. Then she basically told me that she knew I could do better, get off my duff and get moving again.

She’s right, I’m totally slacking off when I should have the pedal to the metal now, while it’s still nice out and I won’t have to struggle to even leave the house in the cold and dark of winter.

Back on the horse, that creaky old nag.**

I also started playing guitar again. I am using my Guitar for Dummies book so I can actually do it properly this time out! Having pretty much faked it with bar chords and power chords (and very few single note runs) in my musical “career,” maybe I’ll actually be able to make the music that I hear in my head come out of my guitar, without my fellow bandmates having to act as my ciphers. That’s a ways off though for now. Right now I have to rebuild my calluses!



















*Janet!

** the nag in this sense is my battle with weight loss, not my nameless friend*

IT'S A PLUG! Brandy new EBAY auctions now up! or: Gentlemen, Start your Spendin’!

Hey folks,

Help me pay off my bills by purchasing some high quality collectibles and assorted sundries and ephemera* from me.

Lots of stuff to go up as fast as humanly possible before new changes take place and ruin it for everyone.

The link is to your right------------>

a little lower (or higher depending on where the arrow is) under the Stuff i Think youse Oughta be lookin at ... heading














*That’s right, I said ephemera! See Mom and Dad, that college edja-muh-ca-shun paid off at least a little!

Week 10: 254.1

Starting weight: 264.2
Weight last week: 253.1
Current weight: 254.1
Lost this week: 0 (up 1, dang it!)
Total lost: 10.1 pounds
Goal for this week: 4 pounds

Goal Weight: 180

Weight remaining to lose: 74.1


This is what happens when you go off the wagon, but try and remain somewhat active I guess. They had the bathroom at work closed for half the day so I had to go downstairs. This is a minor pain but, it did get me some extra exercise via the stairs and the fact that I pee like a nervous squirrel once I hit a certain amount of water. I believe I may have the tiniest bladder known to man.

So, the toe is much better now, thanks. It's a little discolored, but not as nasty looking as before, and I can bend it fine.

So, 8 pounds in a week. Can it be done? Well, yes, but can it be done by a doughy man with a full time job, a wife, a 2 year old? Who knows? I know if I really hammered myself I could probably get it done, but will it stick? Better to be slow and steady and actually keep it off, right?

Endnotes:
* I listen to a lot of Old Time Radio. While it is in the public domain, it's not easy to find places to download shows for free. So, I Googled like a madman one day and while trying different combinations, I found out that the Library of Congress at www.archive.org has a nice collection of shows. I haven't investigated too deeply, but it seems some shows are even organized by year, which is really awesome. I even managed to get two Nero Wolfe shows I was missing (The lost Heir and The Case of the Malevolent Medic) so that was pretty cool.

Archive.org has a boatload of public domain films and also a lot of live music. Most of it is crap like the Grateful Dead and Phish, but there's some gems too. Check it out.

* man, I hate when you're eating a great banana and you look down before the very last bit and there's an enormous black spot! URGH!

I am a crappy blogger...

…and it’s not because I do not update every day. It is because I broke my toe, it was super gnarly looking, and I didn’t take a picture. What the hell, America?* It may also be because I use too many exclamation points in my titles. Today, I used an elipsis. Go, me! I am, however, really sore today from carting my son around over my head in the pool for 2 days. It’s a great workout, as he’s like thirty pounds. The heck with getting a Kettlebell, I simply chuck my kid around!** That's all. Prepare for a remarkably blah weigh in tomorrow, methinks.


I saw this today and thought it was cute :)

* Rest in Peace, Bernie Mac. Since this blog is "world wide" I probably should have said “What the hell, Internet?”

** Safely, of course. After swimming we play with pit bulls or a mason jar full of rusty thumbtacks.

The rest of the results are in, whoop-de-frickin-do...

Miles to go kids.

Triglycerides- 381 (should be under 150(!) but getting lower
HDL- 32 (should be 40 or higher, but it’s going up)
LDL- 83 which from what I am reading is good, but the size of the particles in my blood is bad.


So, they are upping my dose of Cholesterol meds. Damn it. More weight to lose, and things should improve further.

Here’s the kicker, though. I broke my pinky toe today on my right foot.* I caught it on the footboard of the bed and heard it crack. There was a bright white light and then I thought I was ok. Come 1 PM I was in agony at my desk, so I drove to CVS, got some tape and I’m good to go. God, that’s an awful sound, I’ll tell you that, wow.

My wife asked me, “do you want to go to the hospital?” and I said no. I mean, really, I’m gonna pay some pill jockey a hundred clams to tape my toe to the other one? Boo-schwa!
Today has kind of sucked all around. Let’s take a look:

1) Broke my toe. This may severly impact my goal of losing 18 pounds by my birthday!
2) Numbers came back kinda crummier than I wanted them to
3) My Kashi Lemon Rosemary Chicken was just VILE. The meat was like liquid. Could I have cooked it too long?
4) More meds

Ah well, there’s always tomorrow!

My first official product endorsement!

Well, “official” in the sense that the Sporty by Forty Initiative officially uses and recommends the following product, not that I’m getting anything out of it:

Kashi Sweet and Sour Chicken

http://kashi.com/products/kashi_entrees_sweet_sour_chicken

Yeah, I have to pick out the mushrooms* (usually all both of them) but after that it’s flavor city. The first one I got was a little light on the chicken, but the ones I’ve had since have been chock full (cluck full?)-o-bird! It’s very flavorful and filling to boot, and the veggies are remarkably crisp for a microwaved dish.

The sauce is quite good as well. It’s not like the Sweet and Sour chicken one might get at the local Chinese joint, but it doesn’t have the ability to spackle your ventricles shut either.

There are a bunch of other varieties and once they go on sale I’m going to try some more.

Annoying factoid: There’s one of these in the freezer at work, but it’s not marked. I think I may have let it there, but I don’t want to swipe someone’s emergency lunch or anything.

Anyway, that is all!








*Unlike cheese, which I believe comes from the Devil himself, I actually like mushrooms. They, on the other hand, do not like me one bit. It’s a shame, really.

Week 9: 253.1(!)

Starting weight: 264.2
Weight last week: 257.5
Current weight: 253.1
Lost this week: 4.4
Total lost: 11.1 pounds
Goal for this week: 3 pounds

Overall Goal: 180 (final weight, not pounds lost. I realized today that if my goad would be to lose 180 pounds, my final weight would be like 84 pounds, so I’d end up looking like a heroin addict or something. My skull alone is probably like 26 pounds.) This shall hence be changed to “Goal Weight”



Well, I have to say I am pleased as punch. I broke the 10 pound mark, and I may just make the 18 pounds by the 27th. I was thinking I’d probably just remain where I was last week, having made a couple bad food choices in the past couple days. What annoys me is if I hadn’t gone up last week, I’d be in the clear by getting to an 18 pound loss by the 27th.


[homer simpson]Stupid food! Be less tasty![/hs]

Speaking of Tasty, but good for you: My wife made breaded chicken on Sunday night that was to die for. I shoulda taken it for lunch today but I suppose I can wait for dinner.


Speaking of Tasty, but bad for you: A friend of mine and I were discussing Cracker Barrel today and our mutual love for said restaurant. I did however say that the reason that the name of the place was “Cracker Barrel” was because if you eat there too much, you will resemble a cracker barrel.

She said she thought it was because it was full of white people.

Well played, madame, well played indeed.

The results are (somewhat) in!

BP was 110/80 today.

Holy crap!

I haven’t seen numbers like that in forever. I’m quite pleased. Also, apparently my NP sent my skin tag to the lab, just to be thorough, and it came back negative for the big C. I said “Well, had it come back positive I would imagine I would have a phone call before now anyway.

When the blood work comes back I’ll let you know.

Well, it's certainly not getting any better...

Man I am craving a McDonald’s sausage biscuit so freaking bad right now. I mean, really, the mere thought of it is making me salivate something fierce. I had breakfast already (an apple with a Quaker Oatmeal to Go bar and orange juice in case you were wondering) and I’m not actually hungry right now, but I am making myself so with these insane food-porn fantasies. Seriously, I can taste it. It’s glorious. I can feel the flaky biscuit in my greasy paw right now. In the good news department, I’m getting used to the Oatmeal bars. The first one felt to me like I was trying to eat a carpet remnant.

I can’t wait for this cholesterol test to be over, so I can stop it with the cravings already. I don’t think I’m even going to get something bad after the test tomorrow just because I am betting this is all in my head. I’m having a cup of tea now to try and wake up. Coffee has been making me all kinds of goofy towards the end of the day, so I am again swearing off the brew. I think I like tea a lot more now anyhow. I remember when I was a teenager I had two friends who liked tea. So we’d be somewhere and they’d get tea and I’d get some alarmingly huge cup of coffee and I would honestly think they were the odd ones.

In the interest of full disclosure, I went to dinner with these two at a place known for its fish. What does one of them order?

Steak.

With a coffee to drink.

“What are you, a cowboy?” I asked him. “We should ask the waitress if they can serve it to you in a dented tin cup.”

Yeah, we still give him grief for that one.


Anyway, my appointment is tomorrow morning, and so I have to stop eating after 8 pm. If you need to reach me do it before 10, so I’m not too grouchy. Keep me in your prayers/send positive vibes/keep something crossed for me. I want to be making good progress.

I wish I had gotten new bike tires, then I could ride to the doctor, in theory. Of course, I actually like my Nurse Practitioner, so I don’t want to go in there all sweaty, smelling like a wet buffalo or something. Sigh, what’s a guy to do, eh?

Sweet Merciful Crap, my body sucks!

I assume this goes for everyone’s body, not just my travesty of anatomy. When I say my body sucks I do not mean I have a bad body. Oh, rest assured, I do have a bad body, otherwise what would be the point of this whole endeavor? What I mean is this:

I have a blood test Friday to check my cholesterol and whatnot, and to check my blood pressure. So, of course I am craving nothing but Chinese food and White Castle. I’d murder someone for a sack of Chicken Rings, man. I had a Quaker Oatmeal breakfast bar for breakfast today. I have developed a taste for them, which is fortunate considering I felt like I was eating drywall the first time I had one. I’m trying to work my way towards actual oatmeal. Lord knows, I’ve had it in the past but I found it repulsive. I mean, I would have liked something yummy and greasy for breakfast today, but I know better, especially the week of a blood test. Lets see how this goes and maybe I reward myself with something halfway bad on Friday. In reality, I should reward myself with something like Spaceballs on DVD rather than a greasy (pronounced like my old man; “greezy”) breakfast sammich. The DVD is cheaper and won’t kill me.


My allergies are god-awful today to boot. I so badly want to use a decongestant, but can’t. Blood pressure and all, old chap. The Claritin and Flonase work OK for a good portion of the day, but sometimes I get blocked up but good.

Gonna try and go for a walk/stagger/run later after I do the boy’s laundry. We’ll see, won’t we?

Week 8: 257.5

Starting weight: 264.2
Weight last week: 255.1
Current weight: 257.5
Lost this week: 0 (+2.4)
Total lost: 6.7 pounds

Goal for this week- 3 pounds

Goal: 180


Well.

I have no one to blame but myself. I really haven't done jack shit, and it shows. Sleep has been paramount, and I haven't given a toss about walking or anything else.

So, I'm going to set the more realistic goal of 3 pounds and see if we can't get back on the horse.

Well, I found out where that bee came from...

Remember a few posts back I mentioned I was stung by a bee while blowing the dust out of my PC out on the back porch? Well here’s a little follow up! That night I had been surprised as hell, as I couldn’t figure out where the dang thing had come from.

Welllllll, I found out this past Saturday.

I had a canvas military demolitions bag for years, and it got something spilled on or in it ( I can't remember), so I washed it all out and hung it on the back porch to dry. I kind of forgot about it. Well, it turns out that it became an olive drab condominium for bees in recent times. My cousin noticed it while looking out the back window.

“You have a lot of bees on that backpack,” she noted. I took a look myself. Hell yeah I did. About 8 or 10 of them at quick count. I had to remedy this, as I had stuff to be grabbin' from said porsh. So, I figured I would throw the bag off the back porch and then go down and grab it and throw it in the dumpster.

I ran out and did so. I swiftly took the bag off the hook and tossed it onto the ground, 1 flight below. For payback I was promptly stung in the ear. Since it’s all cartilage it only hurt for a minute. It seemed, however, the early estimates of 8-10 bees was a little, shall we say, conservative.

After getting stung in the ear, I ran back into the apartment, and shut the glass door. I turned around and the porch was swarming with bees. I did what any man would do. I got some spray when I went out that afternoon and killed the flying bastards. Yea, it was ugly. Yes, I realize we’re all concerned where all the damn bees are going, which is fine, as long as it’s not on a satchel on my porch.

Oh, I did pick up the bag with a shovel and dump it in the trash. It’s a shame, it had a couple of cool buttons on it, but a couple buttons can’t compete with a bag load of bees.